It’s unfair to feel sorry for ourselves just because we’ve reached a certain age. In middle age, divorce can ignite us with energy.
There are different times in our lives when we reinvent ourselves, and for many of us it comes following a divorce, especially if we have reached a milestone of age: 40 or 50. Midlife seems to be a common time when people renew their creativity as they have had more life experience. They usually also gain a little more freedom and time to express themselves. Many had put their passions aside to raise their family, but now the children are older and moving on . During mid-life, people often find the time to plant the seeds of their dreams.
I know you have heard this before, but our view of ourselves as young or old depends on us. I have met many thirty-somethings who can’t keep up with me or my schedule. “Old” is a self-chosen set of expectations, attitudes, and perceptions. So many they feel that turning 40 or 50 makes them “old”. At some point they bought into this idea of needing to “act appropriately”. I know women who were fashion divas but now wear polyester and act years older than they are. Ask others how they’ve been and receive a list of recent doctor appointments. It can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.
One my most recent dates let me know that all future dates should consist of sitting on the front porch at his ranch watching the cows.
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They present lists of limitations. They “can’t eat pizza” because they “might” get indigestions. They can’t go out to eat because they might not be able to read the menu. They can’t leave the house because it might rain or get chilly, and they might come down with something. It’s like someone told them they are now 50 and should stay at home, watch TV, and carry a ton of photos of the grandchildren. Why is it “socially unbecoming” for people with three grandchildren to enjoy a glass or two of wine, go out on dates and just enjoy life? One of my most recent dates let me know that all future dates should consist of sitting on the front porch at his ranch and watching the cows. Do you think there was another date after he shared this?
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I am a grandmother, but I don’t act like my grandmother did when she was my age. The things we have and know now are very different from what she had in her time. I expect my grandchildren will also be very different from me. The world they are growing up in is completely different from the 70s and 80s. Sometimes it does bother me a little that I may not doing what I’m “supposed” to. That feeling passes very quickly. I choose to join those like me who want to create a culture of youthful attitudes in middle age, to gain energy and do what we’ve always wanted to.
If you doubt what I mean, may I remind you of a few others that did not let a number stop them from their dreams. If these people could do it, there is no reason we can’t at least give it a try.
Consider these people:
Colonel Sanders
Harland Sanders didn’t become the chicken mogul until he was 65. I don’t know about you, but I love the cole slaw!
Golda Meir
Ms. Meir was raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin but born in Kiev. At 49 years old, she became Israel’s ambassador to the Soviet Union. When she was 55 years old, she became the Foreign Minister of Israel. When she was 66 she thought to retire but at age 70 became the fourth prime minister of Israel, the first female to be the head of the country.
Jack Cover
You don’t recognize the name but you might recognize his invention: the Taser. Mr. Covers had worked as a nuclear physicist, and at around the age of 50 started Taser Incorporated.
Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ms. Wilder’s was never published until she was 65 years old. Her book “Little House on the Prairie” is often considered among the world’s most loved children’s books.
Mary Dixon
Dixon decided to fulfill a lifelong dream and become a pilot at the age of 50.
Edmond Hoyle
Have you ever wondered where the rules for card games came from? This Englishman is considered to be the first technical writer for rules of card games. Somewhere around age 70 he started writing down rules. Just think of how many arguments those little rules of settled!
Nelson Mandela
After being imprisoned for life he became at 74 the oldest elected president of South Africa.
Bill Anderson
Mr. Anderson wanted to help the homeless. At 78, he raised over $3,000 riding his bike from coast to coast.
Ray Kroc
Ray Kroc was a milk shake machine salesman. When he bought the McDonald’s brothers hamburger stand in San Bernardino California, he was 52 years old.
Takichiro Mori
In 1959, Mr. Mori had just inherited two buildings from his father, and at the age of 55 he decided to leave his job as an economics professor and give real estate a try. Within a matter of years, he was presiding over the Japanese real estate boom. At the time of his death in 1993, he was considered the world’s richest man with a net worth of over $13 billion.
Wallace Stevens
Mr. Stevens was 76 years old when he won his Pulitzer Prize for “Collected Poems.”
Lew Wallace
One of the best-selling novels in the 19th century was Ben Hur, and it has never been out of print. Mr. Wallace was 53 years old when he wrote this wonderful piece of literature.
George Brunstad
At 70 years old, Mr. Brunstad raised $11,000 for an orphanage in Haiti by swimming the English Channel in 15 hours and 59 minutes.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer
When she was 53 years old, the famous sex therapist, “Dr. Ruth”, was an American household name. She was one of the first women not only brave enough to talk about sex, but to do it in a life radio show and field questions from callers.
Julia Child
It wasn’t until Julia Childs was 49 years old her first cookbook was published. In 1963, Ms. Childs started her cooking show; she was 51. Because of her desire to help advance the knowledge of food and wine through restaurants, at 69 she cofounded the American Institute of Wine and Food. She wasn’t done yet: at the age of 72 she compiled a series of six videos titled “The Way to Cook.”
Ronald Reagan
He had a full career as an actor, but when he was 55 years old he was elected to his first public office. In 1966 Reagan, became California’s governor and won the race by over a million votes. Just 16 days before his 70th birthday Ronald Reagan became the 40th President the United States.
Thomas Jefferson
At 76 years old, he founded the University of Virginia. Jefferson did everything from spearheading the legislative campaign to planning the curriculum and becoming the first rector.
This article originally appeared, in different format, at Divorced and Scared No More.
Photo by vanxarp.