Having a Man to Man Talk with HouseholdStress.com About Household Stress, Why Men Don’t Talk and the Bible – to name a few.
As the new editor for the Marriage Section I’m always on the lookout for people and organizations who are doing great things for men and marriage. While websurfing I came across a site called HouseholdStress.com. HouseholdStress focuses on men in marriage and hosts a hit radio show called Married Men Don’t Talk where they cover topics like guilt, rejectiong, “I didn’t sign up for this!” and more. Today, I do a man to man interview with Rodney Turner of HouseholdStress.com to get some tips and insight about household stress for the married man.
AA: Where did you come up with the name Household Stress?
RT: Established in January 2009, Household Stress, LLC is the brainchild of Tony Hawkins. The team consists of Tony, Rodney Turner, and Darren Smith, with Patrice Echard serving as a consultant. Tony and a friend were talking about this concept of stress in the household one day and the name was born. Household Stress was a name that Tony felt everybody could relate to one way or another. Thankfully the domain name was still available at the time, so he went with it.
AIA: What do you guys do over there at household Stress?
RT: Our primary goal is to build stronger men, stronger husbands, stronger fathers, and therefore stronger families. Other counseling endeavors focus on communication between humans, but our focus is on first improving the lines of communication between God and the husband, the head of the house. Not to knock what professional marital counselors do, but our approach is radically different. What started as a weekly conference call has evolved into the bona fide ‘Married Men Don’t Talk Show’. Broadcasting live weekly on Tuesday nights, we simply provide a weekly internet radio forum for men, married or unmarried. Household Stress was designed to improve communication primarily between the husband and wife, but has also been proven to improve communication amongst all relationships in general. Our mission is to give men the tools necessary to truly be the head of their household so that their family not only survives, but thrives.
AA: How did you come up with idea for the Married Men Don’t Talk Show?
RT: The concept was simply to give men a forum to express themselves to improve communication in the household. One thing that we’ve found to be certain is that married men generally only talk about certain issues outside the home: sports, yard work, vacations with the family, worthless family members, children, co-workers, and the occasional details about the extramarital affair. We’re taught at a young age to ‘man up’, hide your emotions, and never wear them on your sleeve. Anything else would be considered weakness, so the consequences of your friends knowing that there’s a problem in your marriage could be detrimental. The last thing married men want to talk about is their marital problems!
AA: Why Do you think it is that Married Men Don’t talk?
There are a myriad of reasons why:
- Married men prefer not to acknowledge their marital issues. We all know that every marriage has issues, some more than others, but many people are in denial.
- Generally speaking, men have a lot of pride and ego and aren’t interested in getting outside help when necessary. One shining example is how we don’t like reading an instruction manual or asking for directions. We feel that we can figure it out on our own.
- Married men really don’t have a forum to express themselves on a regular basis. At a backyard barbecue or watching/attending a sports event with your friends is not the ideal time to bring up your marital issues. And if we do, it’s definitely seen as not the masculine thing to do.
- When given the forum, we still have to learn how to express ourselves. A lot of men didn’t have a good fatherly example that showed them the way. If they did, their father properly never sat them down and explained the dynamics of marriage to them. We try to flip it and make talking about our feelings the masculine thing to do, which is easier to accomplish amongst our peers rather than with our wives. We try to learn from simply sharing our experiences; each one, reach one.
The name of the show is actually an oxymoron because we have no problems getting married men to talk and be vulnerable, no matter the subject. It’s only by the grace of God that we’ve been so successful over the years.
AA: Do you think married men have an outlet to voice their relationship issues?
RT:They didn’t until we created Household Stress! We invite and encourage any man from anywhere in the world, married or unmarried, to participate in one of our live shows. We have everyday men on our show every week who are married, divorced, widowed, newlywed, engaged, and even single. Our show will always be open to new listeners and participants because married men do talk and want to talk!
AA: How does your site help married men?
RT: Effective communication is the key and we want to help men reach their fullest potential and be the best communicators they can be. Most married men don’t know how to effectively communicate, especially to their wives. It helps when we’re able to communicate with our peers before we communicate to that lucky lady in our lives. Household Stress provides a safe house with a ‘no judgment zone’ so men can just get some things off of their chests or literally just blow off some steam. We need that, and often!
AA: HouseHoldStress.com states that men should be the leader and the head of the household as stated in the Bible. Do you get a lot of hate mail from women or do you find that women are usually okay with this?
RT: On the contrary, the response from women has always been 100% positive. We believe that the man should be the leader and head of his household, as stated in the Bible. Women, married and unmarried, are actually our biggest fans. They’re able to learn so much from the minds of married men since it’s like being a fly on the wall! They applaud us for the subject matter we tackle on a weekly basis since no one else in the world does it like we do. We’ve never received any hate mail from women or anybody else for that matter.
AA: How do you balance your biblical views of men leading the household while still being respectful to wives and all they do?
RT: Well, part of the man leading the household is being respectful to his wife, so they actually go hand in hand. Communication, respect, and healthy dialogue are the keys to a happy home.
AA: Thank you Rodney, for taking time to talk with me.
Photo Credit: Flickr/Elvert Barnes