You go, girl! Grab his paw when he’s watching television. His thick, calloused man hand.
Go ahead and hump on it for a couple of hours, while you think about other guys.
Barely move, or climb all over his lap and bounce, or even hang upside down to the floor. Get with some spurring action. Pant-hoot once in a while. Express yourself, secure in the knowledge that you are an intelligent, independent Southern woman!
Yay, you! There’s no reason to sit on the sidelines alone, when he watches the ballgame with his stinky friends.
Carly Berg is a mammal from Texas. She likes to beg the neighbors for sandwiches.