In last week’s Newsweek cover story, Rick Marin and Tony Dokoupil wrote about how the recession has left middle-aged white men reeling. It’s the “Mancession,” they say. While they’re definitely beating a worn-out drum, this response by Dan Mulhern is spot-on.
Mulhern, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley, and the husband of former Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm, wrote a letter to his 13-year-old son, Jack, about what it really means to be a man. Here’s a preview:
My dad, like so many men of his generation, could tell his wife what to do. He could tell his staff. And his boss could tell him. You and I need a more nimble strength. For example, you will have to stand up to your woman. You will honor her when you treat her as an equal, neither unduly backing down nor asking her to give up her principles and experience. You won’t have clear social roles to inherit. Instead, you’ll have to talk, negotiate, sacrifice, and make it up as you go along. A modern warrior prevails not by sheer physical strength but by exercising his values with discipline.
As a modern man, you’ll learn way more than if you were large and in charge. It used to be a man’s world (and, in some measure, it still is). If you lead like Mom, you’ll know how to persevere. You need not fear strong women, or dismiss gentle men. And if you so choose, you’ll be a great stay-at-home or lead parent, giving and receiving incredible lessons and profound joy. Either way, it’s a great time to be a man.