Last week, prominent mommy blogger Katie Allison Granju wrote a truly startling article titled “Husband Want a Vasectomy? He’ll Have to Ask Your Permission.” Granju, a mother of five children, revealed that when she and her husband decided together that he get a vasectomy, she was required to sign before he could snip.
[A]pparently, many doctors in this country really do require men who come to them seeking vasectomies to fess up to marital status, and to then get their wives’ written consent before the physician will perform the procedure? In some cases, doctors require a face to face meeting with a man’s wife—in addition to the signed consent from her—before a vasectomy will be performed.
A story like this should have caused riptides among sexual rights activists (it certainly made my ears ring), but the only place I saw it covered was over at Instapundit, which struck me as odd. A Google search revealed a wide array of personal accounts that backed Granju up, but plenty that dismissed the practice as a rumor. What’s a journalist to believe?
So I checked with some urologists to find out. Here’s Dr. Charles Wilson from the Vasectomy Clinic in Seattle:
In terms of good medical practice, most doctors would be a little concerned—if not alarmed—if their patient didn’t talk to their spouse. I’m on the side of allowing men to make the decision even if they’re not going to tell their spouse but not without a whole lot of counseling and discussion. I want to be sure that if he’s making that decision, he’s thought about all the repercussions. Frankly, some men just don’t get it.
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And Dr. Ira D. Sharlip, Chair of American Urological Association’s Vasectomy Guideline Panel:
There’s no legal requirement for spousal consent and no minimum age for vasectomy other than the minimum age of consent. But while it’s not necessary to have spousal consent, it’s a really good idea, and involving the spouse in the decision is encouraged.
Simple, boring, safe. But then where are all of these accounts coming from?
Well, according to Janet Crepps, a lawyer at the Center for Reproductive Rights, while there’s absolutely no law requiring men to obtain their partner’s consent, it can be imposed on a case-by-case basis at a clinical level.
Doctors can impose requirements in a private setting in order to protect themselves legally. It’s their choice that they want to do that. While it would be pretty difficult for a wife to successfully sue a doctor for doing a vasectomy on her husband, it wouldn’t surprise me if their legal counsel insisted that they would be better off getting that consent. That said, nobody I know is imposing that kind of requirement.
In short, doctors are given license to decide on whom they perform surgery based on medical judgment and experience, but most of them seem to be conducting themselves reasonably and ethically.
But what if the genders had been reversed? What if we took out the words “urologists” and “vasectomy” and replaced them with “gynecologists” and “tubal ligation,” or even “abortion”?
Is there a double standard here, folks? And for those of you with vasectomy experience, care to share? Leave it below.
My wife was required to sign a form in the Doctor’s office or he would not perform the procedure. It looked quite the official form to us.
Hi, please read the following guidelines from the British Association of Urology surgeons before committing to a vasectomy and fully understand the potential chronic pain risks stated :
https://www.baus.org.uk/_userfiles/pages/files/Patients/Leaflets/Vasectomy.pdf
From that source : “Troublesome chronic testicular pain is reported in up to 15% of
patients and can be severe enough to affect day-to-day activities in
up to 5%”
15% = 1 in 7
5% = 1 in 20
It depends on where you live as to what doctors will try to enforce. In Australia, my sisters have had official paperwork that their partner/spouse is supposed to sign to give permission for them to have tubal ligation. I agree that if it’s your body, your choice (no matter your gender) and it shouldn’t be left up to a medical body to decide for us.
I don’t believe a guy should have to have any permission from someone else to get a vasectomy. It is his body to do with as he wishes. That said as a wife in CA I had to meet with my husband’s urologist and sign a consent form. The doctor said he required it to cover himself in case a married man did it to improve his chances of having a successful uncomplicated affair and the wife sued him.
I wholeheartedly agree that the spouse should consent. My husband just did this and it has turned our lives upside down. I am devastated that he has done this. I also think in abortion cases the dads should have a say.
This comment is disgusting
Yeah it sure is disgusting, god forbid that a man have a say in whether or not a parasite is going to leech all his fun money for the next 18+ years and probably make him commit suicide. Because it’s totally fair a woman can entrap you and use you as a source of income without your permission, then automatically win in court amounts you cant possibly pay because feminaziism.
Exactly!!!
I don’t want it done to me or my spouse ever.
only an idiot would believe it is right to require a spouses permission to have this procedure.
Oddly enough when my wife wanted her tubes closed I had to sign nothing
When I had mine in NYS back in 1980 the doctor handed me a very official looking medical consent form and would not proceed without my wife’s signature. He led me to believe that it was a NYS law that governed vasectomies and that tubal ligations were not covered with the same requirement because the wife was seen by the state as the owner of procreation in a marriage.
Here in NC I went to the urologist and he handed me a from and told me that it had to be sign and notorized by my then wife, under state law. So did he lie to me ? I did take him for his word, after all he was the doctor !
We are suppose to trust the doctors, now I’m not so sure I will trust them !
My husband had a vasectomy after the birth of our second child. I had some health issues and he claimed he did it to help me. It has been 7 years and I have never felt the same sexually with him. The sex was amazing before. Now like a G movie. It has been 7 years and desire sex and have gone thru the motions the last 7 years. I have seen therapist and Priest after many visits over the years many think it is just time to divorce. I love my husband but I can honesty say I have… Read more »
whoooooooooaaa hold up there I can tell from the way you’re talking there: he and his vasectomy are definitely not at fault for you being a complete basket case.
I can DEFINITELY see why he got snipped!
Correct again!!!
My urologist required a signed document stating my wife knew I was getting the procedure done.
Its funny to me that a woman does not have to ask their spouse to have an abortion because its THEIR BODY but a man must get permission from his spouse to have a vasectomy. A vasectomy does not kill anything living and definitely does not kill a child created by both husband and wife. The double standard here is absolutely amazing. I did not ask my spouse and my doctor did not require it because it’s my body. She was pissed but as I told her, its my body my decision. We have 2 kids and II did not… Read more »
I was pretty shocked when my husband’s doctor required a meeting with me (the wife), and my signature before he would perform the procedure. I totally understand suggesting a meeting or counseling the man to discuss this with his partner beforehand, but the fact that it was required really surprised me. I kept thinking that if the tables were turned and a woman wanted to have any type of procedure on her body and the doctor required permission from her husband, there would be protests in the streets!
Women do have to get permission too!
Like many have said already, there’s a conversation that needs to be had between spouses when a decision of this magnitude is being made. I had one done and we talked about it multiple times before making the final decision. We did meet face to face with the doctor who brought up other points which we hadn’t thought about. The main question we hadn’t addressed was, “What if you get divorced and your new partner wants children?” At the time we were going to be together forever. And by forever I mean 10 years. Because we got divorced. I had… Read more »
What if he doesn’t want children but she keeps poking holes in the condoms or forgetting to take her birth control because she wants children? He should have a choice and it’s much easier for a woman to trick a man into getting pregnant or to stop herself from getting pregnant – than it is for a man to have a say in the matter. Millions of men are tricked into an unwanted pregnancy every year. They should NOT have to have their wives consent to have a vasectomy and a woman should not have to have her husbands consent… Read more »
If he didn’t want kids THAT badly, he should’ve gotten a vasectomy before he was married. Common sense.
@Shruti This is idiotic. Lets see if this stands the non gender discrimination test:
“If she didn’t want kids THAT badly, she should’ve gotten a tube ligation before she was married. Common sense.”
We hear stuff like this everyday…… Oh wait, we dont. We hear “her body, her choice”
Health insurance such as medicare only covers female sterilization by the way….
British Associatation of Urology Surgeons – Chronic testicular pain rates with vasectomy = 10 – 30 % http://www.baus.org.uk/_userfiles/pages/files/Patients/Leaflets/Vasectomy.pdf British NHS Quotes 10% http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception-guide/pages/vasectomy-male-sterilisation.aspx Chronicle testicle pain rates at over 15% at 10 years out: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15008732 Be a hero guys, punch yourself hard in the nuts once every couple of minutes every day for the rest of your life (as this is what the chronic pain following vasectomy can be like). Men have been lied to and deceived and presurised and manipulated around this surgery for years, then lived in shame silence and pain. No. More. Time for the truth to… Read more »
I think comparing a Vasectomy to an Abortion is unwise. One procedure terminates a single pregnancy, while the other procedure stops ALL chances of pregnancies, forever and ever.
I think women should have some input… What if the two of you agreed to have three children, and then the husband decides he’s “One and Done”, and gets the surgery? There definitely needs to be a huge discussion between both parents. It would feel like a huge slap in the face if my spouse went out and did this without telling me.
No! the argument still stands for a ovarian hysterectomy. Civil right activists would be up in arms if women were required for their husbands permissions. It most certainly is a double standard.
Your body, your choice applies to men just as much as women. You can’t tip the scales to “level the playing field”, or you will encroach on others civil liberty.
Women should have no input. Men aren’t allowed to object to an abortion. Women shouldn’t tell a man what to do with his body neither.
Wrong and wronger. A man with the means to take care of the child can fairly easily get an injunction to stop a woman from aborting until a judge makes a decision. While I am pro-choice, carrying a baby for 9 months (closer to 7 1/2, as you can’t count the amount of time she didn’t know) that you won’t be keeping is very little price to pay to let the father take the child. They both then sign paperwork severing her rights and stating the father agrees to receive no child support. Without having a baby to take care… Read more »
You can’t “agree to receive no child support”. Child support is owed to the child, not the parent, so the parent cannot waive it on the child’s behalf. Any agreement between parents to forgo child support is legally invalid. (The custodial parent might decide not to report the non-custodial parent for non-payment, but at any time they could change their mind and the non-custodial parent would be obligated to pay the full amount owed over the child’s lifetime.)
I’ve never heard of an injunction to stop an abortion…I’m no lawyer but I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing.
An art ion and vasectomy are apple and oranges. A man should have say in an abortion positively or negatively as having and supporting a child is a life long committment. A vasectomy or tubal ligation is the prevention of a pregnancy.. this is a personal decision. If a spous wwould do this without discussing this with his or her partner, then you may want to evaluate your relationship!
So you think a woman (wife) can get an abortion without any say from the man (husband) but a man needs permission from his wife to get a vasectomy? How very modern of you. After all, you don’t think it would be a bigger slap in the face for a woman to abort a man’s baby without telling him? A woman’s body belongs to her but the mans belong to both of them I guess.
@Adi. So the solution is obviously to give you control over his body…. Yup, sounds like a great idea
I would feel the same if my wife killed our child
Yup. Definitely a double standard. I got mine 10 years ago. The doctor gave me a form for my wife to sign. He said he would prefer to speak to her in person as well, but the consent form would be good enough. I remember calling around to the two other urologists in town. Their policies were the same. It ticked me off, but I needed to get it done, so I put my anger aside. The morning of the procedure, my wife signed it before she drove me down there. She made a joke, saying, “I guess this means… Read more »
Technically speaking it is illegal by federal law to require spousal premission.
I had a vasectomy long before I married (at 21). They never specifically asked if I was married. They never specifically asked if I had children. The consultation was only about five questions. Mostly the interviewer wanted to know if I had questions.
Anyway, in the 28 years since, no woman has had a problem with it. I was married and divorced. I married again last year.
That part shows a different double standard. Women typically can’t get fixed under age 26 EVEN if they have a couple children already…
Women should never tell men what they can and cannot do.
It’s amazing how Roe v. Wade allows abortion, which is pretty permanent, but not a procedure that makes them unnecessary. It’s as if we’re still caught up in the “biological duty” myth of the past. .. and double-standards.
another interesting question, do men need their wife’s consent to undergo a sex change?
I think the issue here is that consent is needed, implying that a woman can prevent her husband from having a vasectomy. I think it would be fair to require that the wife be informed of the vasectomy (after all, I could see a husband keeping it from his wife and robbing her of the potential to have children). maybe require people to inform their fiancees that they are sterile before marriage?
Then, Erik, women need to inform the father before they get abortions. My point is, it is none the doctors business, if the husband and wife have talked about it. That is their marriage. A doctors concern should only be for the health of his patient, not the health of the marriage.
What about the reverse? Are you saying a wife needs the husband’s permission to have an abortion?
I am 100% in favor of equal rights as long as they truly are equal. Don’t tell me the 5th amendment only applies to women and not men
The idea of competent adult needing someone else’s permission to make decisions about their own fertility is insane. Even if it’s not legally mandated, far too many medical professionals *insist* on involving partners in decisions a person should be able to make on their own. The problem is, because it’s a demand made at the provider-level rather than a legal mandate, it’s a lot harder to target efforts to put an end to the practice. The only thing that’s going to get doctors to change their policies is for large numbers of their patients to refuse to be seen by… Read more »
People wake up and Doctors get a clue! If You and your spouse can not discuss and agree on such a decision you have no business being married. If she doesn’t need your consent for her surgery then you don’t need her consent for yours. If a Doctor requires her consent then sue him and set the presidents. Problem solved. I was 26 when I had mine done; I was in the military and it was done in a military facility. I have since divorced her and remarried. Do I regret getting it done? No I do not! I have… Read more »