The world is crumbling beneath our feet. It’s in times like this that we could use a superhero to come and fix everything—eradicate crime, put our babies to sleep, and pur our villains a jail. A guy like … Phoenix Jones!
Yes, Jones is a real-life superhero who roams the streets of Lynwood, Washington, doing everything he can to preserve the important moral balance between good and evil. Sort of.
On Sunday evening, as a Lynwood man returned to his parked car, he found a guy trying to break into it using a metal strip. Then, before he could finish dialing 911, he said, “From the right, this guy comes dashing in, wearing this skin-tight rubber black-and-gold suit, and starts chasing him away.”
Well, my friend, that was not just any guy. That was Phoenix Jones, the anonymous man who walks into a comic store—the new phone booth—almost every night and reemerges transformed. He roams the streets with his band—yes, there’s more than one—of outlaw do-gooders. CBS Washington affiliate KIRO 7 tracked down the masked hero:
“Phoenix” explained his whole super suit, including bullet-proof vest and stab plates, to Dan. “That’s a Taser night stick. And I have Mace slash tear gas over here,” said Phoenix.
Then it was time for Phoenix to get back out on the streets, maybe not quite a super man, but an extraordinary one.
“So when I walk into a neighborhood, criminals leave because they see the suit,” said Phoenix. “I symbolize that the average person doesn’t have to walk around and see bad things and do nothing.”
Phoenix said since he started his crime-fighting crusade nine months ago, he’s been stabbed, and had a gun pulled on him a few times, but received no serious injuries.
Phoenix never caught that car thief. But hey, if he made sure everyone got arrested, there’d be no crime to fight. And if there’s no crime to fight, we wouldn’t need a superhero.
—Photo Mrs. Gemstone/Flickr