Trigger warning for discussion of rape.
I don’t know if rape jokes encourage rape culture. I don’t care. You still shouldn’t tell them.
Statistically, if you have told a rape joke to a group of more than five people, one of the people you told it to was a rape survivor, possibly of multiple rapes. They will not necessarily disclose this to you; rape apologism is endemic in society and most rape survivors are cautious about whom they tell. Some may even be too ashamed of their rape to admit it to anyone, or because of rape-minimizing narratives like “men can’t be raped” and “I consented to oral, so I couldn’t have been raped” may not admit it even to themselves. The fact remains: if you’ve told dozens of rape jokes in your life, then you have almost certainly told a joke that minimizes or trivializes rape in front of a survivor.
And if you put as your Facebook status “I totally raped at Halo today” for your two hundred Facebook friends to see, statistically, you have just reminded thirty-three people of one of the worst experiences of their entire lives.
To describe how well you did at a video game.
Good job!
@ despis: I hardly see how refraining from telling rape jokes would be detrimental because it ‘restricts language and humour’. There might not be a black person in my close group of friends – we still don’t find it funny to toss around nigger jokes. It’s not a matter of forbidding someone from doing something – it’s that some things you shouldn’t find fucking funny in the first place. E.g, RAPE. If you and your friends think it’s funny… well. I suppose I can live with restricting your language and humour, because that’s seriously douchy.
A couple of years ago, I went to a favorite comics store’s comedy night and several comics — mostly men, but also one woman — made jokes about rape. I’m ashamed of myself. I shouldn’t have even stayed past the first one. I didn’t laugh at the jokes. Instead, I shook my head (I was sitting in the front row). “Not funny, guys.” Said one of the comics: “You make me feel like I’m at dinner with my grandmother.” What I did and said then was not enough as a protest or an admonition. Not nearly enough. I’m glad that… Read more »
Well I guess if I’m killing things in halo I could say “I totes murdered at halo today” and it really couldn’t offend anyone… not like the victims are gonna see it on fb laters.
Although assault and other forms of violence can be equally or more traumatic than rape, I think the reason why it is unacceptable to make light of the matter for many people is because our justice system does not work very well in regards to rape. It is statistical fact that the very few men or women who do proceed with a trial will see their assailant go to prison. Many times they will be blamed for the rape (they shouldn’t have worn this, been there at that time, etc) and many people in the jury will justify or deny… Read more »
I was a victim of sexual abuse and if someone tells a joke or something along those lines, I do not get offended and it is not a trigger for me. It certainly doesn’t flash those images through my head. People make jokes and they make offensive jokes. Generally with my friends they’re said in a way that isn’t trivialising rape but instead are parodying the overuse of actual harmful rape jokes like the one you mentioned. Maybe the reason I am not effected by it is because I have dealt with the trauma from it and do not feel… Read more »
A lot of these comments equate “offensive” with “triggering.” Offensive means that it offends someone, that it is racist or sexist or uses foul language or any number of things depending on who is offended. Triggering means that it reminds someone of a horrible experience, bringing about flashbacks and dissociation, actual physical responses of anxiety. When you equate these things, you tend to say things like, “Well, if I open my mouth at all, I’m going to offend someone. You can’t tell me what to say.” But offending people is not the issue.
PS. The last post was an honest question, but I may have worded it unlucky (as I have a habit of doing since I’m not a native english speaker). If anyone finds it offensive or triggering, please remove it.
How do you react to death jokes, if you, say, have a close friend or relative that have recently been killed in an accident?
(I don’t mean to promote rape jokes, or say that they are more or less bad than death jokes in the above circumstance. I’m just interested in opinions since I personally think that the subjects have some points in common.)
Sorry – start that above video at 13:00 to get my point.
God, people who play video games are idiots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vUQzZo0UDY&list=PLB96E362989DC2DE5&index=50#movie_player
As much as my heart goes out to rape victims, being raped myself, I don’t see why the phrase “I totally raped at Halo today” should be taken offensively. It is obvious that the term is intended as a hyperbole rather than a mockery of rape victims and should be interpreted as such. Nitpicking at somebody’s language and taking political correctness to a higher level is not going to fix the problem. Education, justice and personal strength is the solution. There is nothing that can take the pain and trauma away but life goes on. I found that during difficult… Read more »
@Munch Because it’s dark yet silly. Because it’s a joke at the rapist’s expense, making him such an oblivious bastard while the victims are traumatized and angry, respectively. Because there’s post-it notes. Because the actor who played the Critic (shirtless and red tie) was the one who thought it up and really wanted to have himself as the woobie. I could go on.
Please bear in mind that I’m not attacking you, just explaining myself.
I’m going to have to agree with ‘Weener’ and ‘Emmeline’. I’m a victim and I tell jokes all the time. I laugh when my friends do too. They’re not attacks. We don’t have to be wilting flowers.
And I don’t remember who said something up there about ‘just because you don’t get offended, doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t’. That’s true. But at the same time, just because somebody gets offended, doesn’t mean we all do. They’re jokes. Just relax.
If people start using the word ‘rape’ in a flippant manner to describe things that have nothing to do with rape or in an attempt to be humorous regardless of whether perceived as laughing at the perpetrator or the survivor, I will start using a different word or phrase to describe what happened to me just so that the seriousness of this crime and its impact on me is not lost. I might say, ‘My body, mind and soul were criminally violated by men abusing power and sex’ or I might say, ‘For the last 20 years, I have suffered… Read more »
Emmaline, “…http://blip.tv/nostalgiacritic/nostalgia-critic-specials-spooning-with-spoony-ep-02-2983114 (yes more fandom pimping, sorry) where the funny comes from this smarmy guy actually rubbing it in his victims’ faces is freaking hilarious in the blackest comedy way possible.”
This is funny because……..??????
Maybe jokes are funnier if you think they’d offend other people?
I’m a [twice] raped victim, & I tell rape jokes. I’m also a blonde who tells blonde jokes. When the jokes are said they are not a threat, or directed toward you, so find something else to cry about.
Honest question: Is this a rape joke? I can’t tell if it fits the description of the “bad” kind of rape joke.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2011/07/23/canadian-grocery-stores-are-awesome/
Who the hell puts up Facebook notes about raping people on a video game!!?
You know what, I don’t want to know, at all. As a guy who cheered Louis CK when he told his rape joke, I’d like to continue living in a world where even social degenerates understand that no means no (and that a yes in duress will become a no at a later point.)
I suppose everyone’s also familiar with George Carlin’s routine and the “Something Positive” three page arc in which a misogynist D&D player’s character has an unfortunate encounter with Redneck Trees already?
Clarence: I suppose the question is whether that is classist. To take statistical information and personal experience and draw the conclusion that poor rural “rednecks” (or poor inner-city “thugs” if looking at other crime stats and possessing other personal experiences) are dangerous. If it’s not classist to draw conclusions about a class based on stats and personal experience then I do not think the article was being classist, instead it was merely drawing a conclusion based on stats and the (presumed) personal experience of those black men. Not to say the article was free of problems or that I agree… Read more »
I make a distinction between two kinds of rape jokes: those that are against the rape survivor, and those that are against the rapist. I think you could also make a joke that is against a rape apologist. On another note, I think the type of humor matters as well – if the goal is to be goofy and funny, then jokes about rape trivialize it. If the humor is more biting and sarcastic, and darkly satirical, I think there would be more leeway, as the goal of any such jokes would be to bring up an issue presumably for… Read more »
Orangeyouglad:
I go by crime stats and personal experience. If you choose differently, that’s fine too.
That post was to answer Kodiak’s question on classism in the article.
Probably the caricature of a “southern redneck” sort being, immediately, a “real and brutal enemy”… personally I’ll say, coming from a Southern culturally “redneck” (my grandfather and father were construction workers but my father managed an office job with the water management and so income-wise, by the time I was born, we were firmly middle class) family in a generally “poor” farming town I can see the point he’s making on the one hand, on the other, being gay and having most threats against my life coming from exactly that type I can also understand the temptation to characterise them… Read more »