Speaking of penis size, after perusing query strings on her personal blog’s server logs Ozymandias says
ATTN: Person who got here with the search term “do women like an eight inch cock better than a seven and a half inch cock?”
I cannot even figure out all the things that have gone wrong with our sexual education system that you feel the need to ask this question.
I mention this in part because in comments to my Captain America parody penis-size post a reader named Foxglove said
…a man with a small penis is seven thousand times sexier than a man with small penis anxiety? And that, the bigger a guy’s penis is, the more anxious he always seems to be? It’s annoying. Society, stop making this happen. Srsly.
Yup. I’ve noticed that anxiety too. I can’t remember exactly where (I think it was Mary Roach in Bonk but evidently the men most likely to seek penis enlargement services (actual-medical or spam-driven “herbal”) are more likely to be larger, not smaller, than average.
So far, at least, no one has explained why this might be. I thought this might be a good place to ask. Any takers?
I do by the way think that penis enlargement is possible but only with inflicted damage, there is no /harmless/ penis enlargement that works.
“So far, at least, no one has explained why this might be. I thought this might be a good place to ask. Any takers?”
I think men with penis anxiety are more likely to have had penis enlargement in the past, which is why their penises are slightly bigger than average,but the anxiety stays.
“I fear I have to say otherwise. I have encountered quite a lot of women who went as far as dumping intimate partners due to unsatisfactory penis size. I have witnessed lots of women talking about how much better a big penis is.”
Conversly, I’ve had many conversations with both straight women and gay men about how guys with small penises are often better at sex because they focus more on technique while bigger guys can have a tendancy to just shove it in.
I can imagine the dynamic to be like this –
a guy who early on realizes it’s nothing he can boast with will concentrate on other stuff while guys with larger than average penis believe that they have a shot in *that* competition, so they get into it and are accordingly affected by it.
I admit I never really understood that penis anxiety stuff. Probably some guys taking porn all to serious.
@BlackHumor Yup “showers” vs “growers” and all that. Actually I do have a penis (all my very own :D), I just prefer partners that do too, probably a large part of how I know mine is average. Having had partners at both ends of the spectrum my personal thoughts on size is that it’s not really a case of “better” and “worse” just different Personally my thoughts on penis anxiety is to blame the porn industry. Let me first say I’ve no problem with porn itself (being single right now I’m a pretty big consumer of the stuff), the problem… Read more »
@ Dr. Anonymous:
No, I don’t have a problem with that, because I don’t feel threatened by a plastic sleeve. If micropenis guy had said, “sometimes I need something tighter, would you jack me off with this fleshlight?” or whatever, I’d have been there with bells on. Sex toys don’t freak me out, and I really couldn’t be with someone who had both a truly tiny penis and a dildo-related insecurity. The tiny penis itself wouldn’t have been a dealbreaker at all.
Maybe being of above-average size tends to make a man more size-conscious. You’re encountering and being reminded of large penises in day-to-day life more frequently than an average man, and by extension being more frequently reminded of typical attitudes about them- namely, bigger is better. So the thought “If I was bigger, I would be better” is crossing your mind more often.
@Zyzle: Remember that penis size is measured erect, flaccid length has almost no relation to erect length, and most (straight) guys don’t see other guys’ erect penises often, if at all. So it’s not seriously possible to figure out if you’re above average intuitively; you either have to find statistics on penis size, or else ask your sex partners if yours is longer than others they’ve seen.
Also, can I guess that you don’t yourself have a penis? Because some of this is pretty intuitive if you do.
I’m a guy with a larger than average penis. When I was younger (high school, early university), partners would comment on the size and I was very proud of my fortunate genetics because I was under that bigger was strictly better. Then in my most recent relationship it turned into a point of embarrassment – whenever we had sex, I would end up hurting my partner to the point where we couldn’t have sex again for a couple of days. We eventually figured out how to have non-painful sex, but were limited to only a handful of positions, making both… Read more »
EE:
You’re assuming men who buy into PE stuff are trying to become “adequate” – maybe most of them are trying to have “more of a good thing.”
Or the only positive commentary they’ve gotten from their partners was on how big they are so they thought bigger = better.
(those that tell you they’ve never looked at another guys are liars, seriously try going in to a locker room with a 00 guage PA and you’ll see what I mean) Considering how fear of the slightest thing that may be construed as homosexual (and in the script of being a man about the only thing more “gay” than seeing another guy’s penis would be actual physical contact) I can easily believe guys that say they haven’t. Mind you this does conflict with the desire to confirm that a given guy is larger than other men. As a result you… Read more »
“and i much prefer a lady’s fingers to a dude’s.”
You might differ to my nailed fingers vs my boyfriend’s nail-free, because freshly-cut nails on his fingers.
I keep the nails at the white portion = same as the finger portion (which ends up being over an inch total, even for my pinky), unless they break prematurely.
@fig: evidently the men most likely to seek penis enlargement services … are more likely to be larger, not smaller, than average. Wanna know why? Men with smaller ones who are good lovers have discovered that size isn’t the only thing that matters – they can be good partners regardless of size. Men with bigger ones who are good lovers attribute their “goodness” to their “bigness.” So – they think they can be “good-er” if they get “big-er.” You’re assuming men who buy into PE stuff are trying to become “adequate” – maybe most of them are trying to have… Read more »
i was engaged to a dude that was around 25% larger than i would have preferred. we made do (went through a substantial amount of lube, had a lot of side-by-side sex) but i still ended up sore more often than not, and in retrospect that is just one of the many, many reasons we were sexually incompatible. it doesn’t really make a lot of sense that we were so mismatched size-wise (i’m 6’0″ and fairly large-framed, he’s 6’2″ and was skinny as a rail), but far from being a point of pride for him, it was a constant source… Read more »
@f: “I understand that it can be important for a guy to feel his equipment is all he needs to pleasure someone, but… no. That’s just not going to work sometimes.” I totally get this. @Dr Anonymous: “Ok, so then I assume you will have no problem with men talking about how much tighter plastic vaginas are, and how much more pleasure this brings them?” Here’s the deal: if it was all about penis and vagina size then no one would ever be interested in, oh, say, oral sex, anal sex, hand-jobs, kink, fetishes, grinding and other kinds of frottage,… Read more »
I also ought to add that in my general experience as a young man, in situations combining both casual nudity and considerable promiscuity, penis size just pretty much never seemed to be the determining factor for partner choice in something on the order of hundreds of encounters between scores of men and women.
That ought to be a data point right there.
figleaf
@Dr Anonymous: “I fear I have to say otherwise. I have encountered quite a lot of women who went as far as dumping intimate partners due to unsatisfactory penis size. I have witnessed lots of women talking about how much better a big penis is.” I don’t even know why you’re afraid to say otherwise! Of course there are women who prefer really big penises! I’d add that there are even more who are attracted to them visually. I’ll go so far as to say I know one woman who pretty much isn’t interested in men unless they’re so large… Read more »
@f
Ok, so then I assume you will have no problem with men talking about how much tighter plastic vaginas are, and how much more pleasure this brings them?
@ Dr. Anonymous,
I think the missing factor in your post is “dildos”. Plenty of women have sex with one another using a foreign object for that “filled up” feeling.
The only time I ever stopped dating a guy due to penis size was because he had a micropenis and refused to consider using a dildo on me. I understand that it can be important for a guy to feel his equipment is all he needs to pleasure someone, but… no. That’s just not going to work sometimes.
@schala lol, ok fair enough, I was (mostly) joking with that 😉
“those that tell you they’ve never looked at another guys are liars”
I never did, and I’m no liar. I had access to male locker rooms for all my scholar history. I’m a high school graduate. Oh, and I didn’t shower ever in PE.
In my experience it’s generally women who are all anxious about their small breasts, big bellies, floppy arms, and fat butts. Even my very awesome ‘modern’ wife (who supports our family financially and plays tennis against men; she’s almost 50 and beats 20 year old men!) has this ‘fat phobia’ thing. I think what may be going on here, in regards to men, is that some men don’t have a lot of experience sexually and maybe their timidness is seen (by women) as ‘penis anxiety’ when it really has nothing to do with penis size. Being able to perform well… Read more »
Personally, I have never noticed a correlation between size and performance in bed. Nor have I ever thought “Well, damn, if only he had a bigger dick.” Granted, I’ve never actually asked for measurements, so it’s possible that I’ve never slept with someone with a below-average penis. But even if some women greatly prefer a larger penis, I’m willing to bet money it’s not nearly as many as the average insecure dude thinks. As for why dudes get insecure about it…probably the same reasons girls often agonize about miniscule weight gains. The myth of the perfect physical form that you… Read more »
@Plus 8 – Yeah I remember seeing that too, IIRC the ‘average’ the women came up with was about 8″ long and about an inch thicker in circumference.
As far as the average guys being more confident goes, I’m pretty sure it’s because they know they’re average like the vast majority of other men. You see other guys and think “hey thats pretty much what mine looks like” (those that tell you they’ve never looked at another guys are liars, seriously try going in to a locker room with a 00 guage PA and you’ll see what I mean)