Trigger warning for discussion of rape.
I am a ridiculous Melissa McEwan fangirl, and this post today cements my love:
Also: I suspect, though I could be wrong, that if the letter-writer had been a woman whose platonic male friend had twice masturbated in bed with her, while staring at her and touching her while she slept, instead of a gay male whose platonic male friend did the same, male Professional Advice Columnist Cary Tennis might not have been quite so quick to encourage her to try to see things from his perspective.
One of the things about the rape culture is that it depends on men feeling, and being told, that it was nothing of any consequence when they are sexually violated, surely not a sexual violation, because that’s something that happens to women, and eww no one wants to be like them.
Men, of course, are sexually violated, and, when they are, they shouldn’t be admonished to pretend they weren’t, or to get over it, or to (FOR FUCK’S SAKE) “meet with him and have a frank talk. You might begin by saying that you care deeply about him but there are some things he has done that you find hard to accept. Maybe he can tell you something about what’s been going on in his life, things that he has not mentioned, things that don’t make him look good, things that will help you understand why he did the things he did.”
Right on, Liss. Fighting against rape means fighting against all kinds of rape– not just the kinds that happen to women.