Just what is rape culture? Ozy Frantz goes into detail about the cultural wellsprings from which it arises.
This post originally appeared in two parts at No Seriously, What About Teh Menz?
The genesis of this post is that I was thinking about a very commonly used feminist term– “rape culture.” Jokes about men being raped in a so-called comedy? Rape culture. Slut shaming of a rape survivor? Rape culture. Widespread lack of attention to prison rape? Rape culture. Rape as a weapon of war in the Sudan? Rape culture.
But then I was debating someone and I realized that I have absolutely no idea what a rape culture is.
I mean, I know the basic definition– the rape culture is everything in our culture that causes the high rate of rape in it. (Which is not to say that there aren’t things in our culture that cause the rate of rape to be lower than it would otherwise be.) But what specifically is a rape culture? What cultural themes play into it? I had no idea. So this post is essentially an exploration of what concepts might be behind the rape culture in the modern West (actually mostly America, because that is what I know stuff about).
The Transactional Model of Sexuality
The transactional model of sexuality essentially suggests that sex is a thing women have and men want. Men purchase women’s sexuality, by this model, through love, commitment, money (either subtly as in buying her drinks or dinner, or overtly as in prostitution), fame, being entertaining (such as having a good sense of humor or “game”), etc.
The transactional model of sexuality eliminates certain categories of women as victims. For instance, married women can’t “really” be raped by their husbands: after all, he has already married her, providing his payment for the sex he’s supposed to have. Promiscuous women and sex workers are also presumed to be unable to be raped; they sell their sexuality cheaply, instead of holding out for love and commitment, so it’s not as valuable to them.
It also creates the notion that men cannot be raped. After all, if a man was raped, he got sex! For free! It’s not a violation of bodily autonomy and self-determination, it’s more like someone giving you an unwanted present. Just go stick your rape in the spare bedroom next to Aunt Ethyl’s picture of a crying cat, jeez, why are you so traumatized?
Rape as Punishment
Rape can often serve as a method of social control. When women transgress social norms for what a “good” woman behaves like– getting drunk, dressing in certain types of clothing, being a sex worker, covering a war as an embedded journalist, having a lot of sex, going out late at night alone, etc.– she’s said to be “asking for it.” Essentially, this cuts women off from multiple areas of human experience because of the fear of rape.
Rape as punishment also applies to men as well, in the case of prisons. If a man violates society’s rules by breaking the law, it’s assumed that part of his punishment is being raped, generally by either a large black man or a big “redneck” named Bubba (woo, bonus classism and racism). Sometimes rapists are imagined to be punished with rape, which seems to be rather missing the point of the whole “rape is bad” business to me, but maybe it’s twelfth-dimensional hyperethics or something.
Marginalized groups suffer even worse from rape as a means of social control. 6 out of 10 women crossing the border from Mexico get raped; women plan for their rapes by take contraceptives beforehand to avoid getting pregnant. Regardless of one’s position on immigration, this is a travesty that has not been prosecuted, to a large degree, because the survivors have broken the law.
Corrective rape of gays and lesbians also occurs around the world, particularly in South Africa; however, in the modern West, support for corrective rape seems mostly limited to YouTube comments sections and the more vile sort of homophobe.
Shame Around Sexuality
Some people will do anything to avoid having to talk to their sex partners about sex.
I see this a lot in discussions about affirmative consent. “But I’m supposed to ask my boyfriend if he wants me to give him a blowjob? That’s not sexy! Also, it will make me feel awkward.” You know what’s really not sexy? Your boyfriend feeling too awkward to say no to a blowjob he really doesn’t want! Also, dirty talk, look it up.
Most people are pretty good at reading other people’s body language and want their partners to be happy, so the number of accidental rapes is very slim. However, this sort of behavior gives cover to actual rapists. “How was I supposed to know he wasn’t into it? I was just holding him down while he was frozen with fear unable to make a sound! It’s not like he was screaming no and fighting back, then I would have known.” “How was I supposed to know the maid I raped wasn’t actually a sex worker? I mean, it’s not like I could have asked or anything!”
Not to mention the women (and it is mostly women) who, out of a desire to not appear like a slut or a rape fantasy and a horrific allergy that gives them hives when they hear the word safeword or whatever, say “no” when they actually mean “yes.” However, I feel if everyone started honoring their nos, we would find a rapid reduction in this sort of behavior. Do not rape people on the off chance that hopefully they’re into that shit!
Men are Horny Beasts Who Can’t Control Themselves
This one seriously just pisses me off.
Rape is not a fucking compliment, you fuckers. It’s not like a man sees a woman he finds attractive and goes “Oh no! I am a perfectly decent person who would never ever rape anyone, but my penis has a mind of its own and is dragging my body along to go rape this lady, while my mind screams no each step of the way!” Humans do not have miniskirt-induced pon farr. Rape happens when a rapist– which can be either a man or a woman– freely chooses to rape a person.
Also, a hard dick is not consent, because men do not actually want sex all the time. Scientists have actually discovered– now this is farfetched, but work with me here– that penises can sometimes get erect without the man’s conscious control or arousal at all!
Toxic Masculinity
Thomas at Yes Means Yes quotes from a paper by Lisak, the groundbreaking rape researcher, about the characteristics of male rapists (unfortunately, I am unaware of similar studies about female rapists): “more angry at women, more motivated by the need to dominate and control women, more impulsive and disinhibited in their behavior, more hyper-masculine in their beliefs and attitudes, less empathic and more antisocial.”
The lesson here for masculists should be simple.
If a man believes that he cannot care about other people’s emotions, because if he did he would be like a woman, and that would be the worst thing ever… if a man believes that he must have power over other people, especially women, because if he didn’t he would be like a woman, and that would be the worst thing ever… if a man believes he must reinforce his masculinity, because if he didn’t he would be like a woman, and that would be the worst thing ever… if a man believes he must be angry, must be impulsive, must be dominant, because if he didn’t he would be like a woman, and that would be the worst thing ever…
That man is more likely to rape people. Period.
In short, gender-policing causes rape. You want to end the rape of women? Work for men to have freedom from gender roles– even the limited freedom that women have right now.
Disrespect for Boundaries
Our culture is fucked right the fuck up about boundaries.
Let us consider a hug. Pat doesn’t like to be hugged for whatever reason– could be anything from childhood abuse to wanting to save physical contact for people Pat really likes to a simple distaste. Robin, on the other hand, is a very touchy-feely person and loves hugs. One day, Robin hugs Pat without permission. Pat freezes and very politely asks that Robin not hug her.
What’s the reaction we’re likely to hear?
“Why don’t you like hugs? Hugs are great! Everyone loves hugs! Come on, just hug me once and I promise I won’t make you again. You’re so weird that you don’t like hugs. Are you sure you aren’t just making this up? Come on, everyone likes hugs, don’t be so ridiculous.” Occasionally other people will get involved in the social pressure to hug.
We systematically disrespect people’s boundaries, and then we expect people to be assertive when they have boundaries in bed. We tell women they’re being mean, or crazy, or stuck-up, or angry, when they strongly assert who they do or do not want to touch their bodies, and then we expect them to yell and kick and scream and punch when someone is trying to touch them in a different way they don’t want. We expect women to care about other people’s feelings and their pride and be diplomatic instead of saying “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME,” and then we are surprised when women care about other people’s feelings and their pride and are diplomatic instead of punching the rapist in the face.
Men, we cut out the middleman just think they’re being mean or crazy or stuck-up or angry in sex and non-sex. You don’t want a perfectly attractive girl to give you a blowjob? What, are you a fag or something?
Rape Is Really Important, That’s Why We’re Ignoring It
But our culture does care about rape.
Most people, if you ask them, will say that they are against rape and look at you funny for asking the question. Rapists are incredibly evil scary monsters, you see. They jump out of bushes to hold young screaming women down and force them to have sex, and then the women are traumatized forever. They also probably have claws and pointy teeth and say MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA a lot.
Hell, even rape apologists agree rape is bad. They’ll just say things like “all these people who just had someone continue sex with them after they said no are taking attention away from real rape survivors!” who are, presumably, the people who had a rapist jump out of a bush at them.
Our culture hates rape– and that’s why so many people question rape survivors.
Because rapists aren’t incredibly evil scary monsters. A rapist could be your best friend, the guy who sat behind you in high school algebra, your parent, your sibling, your lover. A rapist can be the handsome football star; a rapist can be the beauty queen cheerleader. A rapist can be a feminist who says all the right things about anti-oppression and bodily autonomy. A rapist could be the lead singer of an indie rock band, an Oscar-winning filmmaker, an activist for free speech and transparency in government. The only thing that makes rapists different from ordinary people is that they rape people.
And that’s scary. Because if rapists are ordinary people, not monsters, it means that someone you know and like and respect can be a rapist. It means that you might even be a rapist!
So people try to minimize rape. Newspapers say “sexual intercourse” instead of “alleged rape” or feature rape stories in the Odd News. Judges at rape trials sometimes ban the use of the word “rape” as unfairly prejudicial. Survivors describe their rapist continuing sex with them after they say no as “gray rape” or “not really rape.” People a rape survivor discloses to say you must have enjoyed it or but you were leading him on or it wasn’t rape, it was just sex you regretted the next day or well, he’s a nice guy and you don’t want to ruin his life. Whoopi Goldberg claims that Roman Polanski raping a thirteen-year-old girl who was too drunk and high to consent and saying no as “not rape-rape” (no, I am STILL not over that). Police officers and prosecutors and judges and juries are disbelieving or unmotivated or victim-blaming.
Rape survivors’ behavior after the rape is policed. If they didn’t report it immediately because they were in shock, if they didn’t report it at all because they didn’t want to relive the experience, if they were in denial, if they have a happy sex life afterward, if they don’t seem traumatized enough, they’re not a “real” rape survivor, so we don’t have to face the fact that rapists are ordinary people, often people we like and admire.
And the vast majority of rapists– acquaintance rapists– rape again and again and again, and never get put in prison or suffer any consequences for their actions, as their victims suffer from trauma, PTSD, substance abuse, problems with intimacy, flashbacks…
This is the kind of thing that makes me want to quit the human race and become a squid. Squid never do this kind of shit.
Photo—Diversity hands from Shutterstock
I think that it would be worthwhile to revisit this topic at a later time. There is a good outline in terms of identifying the manifestations of rape culture. But the swearing will turn a lot of people away from taking the argument seriously. The topic is infuriating…. so flipping infuriating, and it is good to work through the negative thoughts and emotions. The second time around, it will be easier to convey a more objective message that isn’t overtaken by the intensity of tending to a fresh wound.
Part of rape culture is me walking down the street in midtown on my way to work and having some skivvy guy passing by hoot at me: “Hello! I love you!” … I am so tired of comments like this (it happens everyday)… What gives him the right to yell out weird comments at strange women? Does he think that attractive women walking on the streets on their way to work are prostitutes that are his for the hollering? I was thinking of getting his picture with my cellphone and posting to http://www.ihollaback.com but I was walking so fast and… Read more »
That’s rude but it’s got nothing to do with rape.
So it’s a douchebag culture? Is it vastly different to other forms of someone being an asshole? Btw I don’t want to make it sound like that isn’t serious, because it does sound serious and quite bad, I’m just trying to figure out if it’s particularly unique enough to be a culture of rape or if it’s just part of our massive variety of cultures which do include assholes and other despicable people?
what the heck? ??
So let me see ” a loud mouth freak dog howls at you”
So your presumption is that he wanted to rape you! !!
Not only that but a group of so called adult educated women whom you agree with or a member of (feminists ) will turn these random instances into a whole deliberate general behavior of males throughout society plus come up with a term of rape culture to boot, ….???
Exactly way the general public think feminism is a demented over the top ideology.
That’s ex
And, yes, he looked totally creepy…no resemblance to Viggo Mortenson or Michael Fassbender…! Not defending the actions of that man in any way, but what the hell does his appearance have to do with it? Would it be ok if he looked like Viggo Mortensen or Michael Fassbender? Is the only reason for him being a part of rape culture him being unattractive (looking totally creepy without any resemblance to some attractive celebrities) in contrast to you being attractive (“Does he think that attractive women…”). Is his transgression in reality only that he hooted “Hello! I love you!” at someone… Read more »
Have to agree with this, it does sound like he’s simply an unattractive male. I’m sure other hollering exists but it doesn’t help to hear that some women view men as creep from their looks…
Um, Leia, that isn’t rape culture. For me to believe this is to believe every woman who shouts “Hello handsome” with a leacherous leer is straight up raping me six ways to sunday on the spot without using her body or physical contact. If I were to term that rape culture, I’d be laughed off the face of the earth. Oh, and men who look “Creepy” (I put those words in brackets because, frankly, that term is used to include even men who don’t look like a hobo yet one wrong facial expression or word and he’s labeled a devient… Read more »
I can think of a few cultures which could be said to have a genuine rape culture (and a genuine violence culture for that matter), but they’re all small and isolated/marginalised groups of people. Some examples would be:
-Pitcairn Island
-Any prison population anywhere
-Roman communities
-Irish travellers
No mainstream society I’m aware of fits the model of rape culture as it’s usually described. Nearly every human culture takes rape more seriously than any other crime and it’s rapists do not usually resemble regular citizens psychologically.
*Roma
Well, a google search of “predictors female sexual aggression” would fix that as it reveals several studies about female sexual agression. Here are a few examples:
One from Germany: ht tp://www.psych.uni-potsdam.de/social/projects/files/womens-sex-aggression.pdf
Here’s a relevant chapter from a book about female sexual aggression: ht tp://books.google.no/books?id=EwWSXYqtmk4C&pg=PA77&hl=no&source=gbs_toc_r&cad=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
A 2004 study by P. B. Anderson found that 10.3% of women reported using force tactics to obtain sexual contact with a man: ht tp://www.ejhs.org/volume7/Anderson/text.html
There is also
Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, Volume 5, October 23, 2002
http://www.ejhs.org
From Deviance to Normalcy: Women as Sexual Aggressors
Peter B. Anderson, Ph.D.
Dyan T. Melson, M.Ed.
http://www.ejhs.org/volume5/deviancetonormal.htm
Is it rape culture or is it all a huge violence culture? I’ve always wondered if rape was separate or if it was part of a bigger culture glorifying violence?
Part of the failure to address alleged rape culture is discussions don’t include the reasons for rape. While discussing the contributing causes of rape is unpalatable, there are distinct reasons for it and one solution does not fit all. Rape in war, rape of children, rape of adolescents, rape of neighbours and relatives, prison rape are not the same event. They share the same criminally defined behaviour but I believe the motivations differ. For there to be a rape culture, as I understand culture, there would need to be a subset of society that self-identifies as rapists, they would probably… Read more »
To clarify the term rape culture doesn’t refer to a subset of individuals but rather a subset of beliefs. The idea that a man should have a large number of is fairly common and mainstream. Not everyone thinks that, but many men in the U.S. believe it to varying degrees. This motivates men to have sex with more and more women. A man desperate to validate himself via this belief would consider forcing or coercing a woman into bed. Admittedly there’s also a belief that a man who has sex with a lot of women like that is bad, however… Read more »
“A man desperate to validate himself via this belief would consider forcing or coercing a woman into bed. Admittedly there’s also a belief that a man who has sex with a lot of women like that is bad, however this is usually based on the idea that consensual sex is somehow harmful to women, supposedly making it almost as bad as rape; an idea that also contributes to “Rape culture”.” Isn’t this a bit contradictory? 2 forces against each other? So rape culture is about ideas that COULD lead to higher rates of forced and/or coerced sex, wouldn’t it be… Read more »
Archy I still find it fascinating that rape culture is so opaque to so many. The term is misused so freely it just causes havoc and people can’t see the wood for the trees – and even the Amazonian Rain Forest. There is a focus on the trivial over the significant. An easy example of rape culture as it is a Microcosm is Pitcairn Island – but as it is so far away, buried in the depths of the south pacific and it does not have a Fox/CNN news room for sound bites it just gets missed. No frat house… Read more »
… and for those in doubt, here is the US Flag Code – http://www.usflag.org/us.code36.html
See §176. Respect for flag.
PS – not sure about any formatting errors above – must have missed a backslash to close out the blockquote ending – “….Constitution and to appeal to co-citizens to do so.””.
If a mod can put in the backslash it should fix the error – cheers!
Yeah it’s a bit confusing atm, is rape culture meant to be mostly against women? What happens when the sexual of sexual abuse against men by women starts to reach parity or close to it (like it seems to be after latest cdc stats)? I see a culture that can celebrate violence but hate it against women, a culture that will laugh at men being beaten up, kicked in the balls but cry foul at harm against women which to me seems a bit conflicting with ideas I’ve seen of rape culture. I see victim blaming sometimes and other times… Read more »
Archy – I find it fascinating that when the Term Rape Culture first arrived, linked to what some call the theory of Rape Culture, whilst others insist its a concept – social model – socio-economic reality – well at the outset it was Gender Neutral. I think the biggest issue has been the apocryphal label (or even libel) that the USA is a rape culture. It’s wondrous that the original thinker on that one still can’t be traced ( just as the actual Term had to be traced back to a 1975 Film) – but it seems to have become… Read more »
Mediahound, Your analysis just doesn’t make sense to me. Let’s look at the parts: 1) Is sexual violence “normalized”? No, of course not. Sexual violence is criminalized. Statistics on the high rates of sexual assault under certain conditions (e.g. the military, prison, college campuses), are hard hitting specifically BECAUSE sexual assault is not “normal.” If it were normal, the statistics would not have meaning, because we would expect it. 2) Are the victims of such violence oppressed? No, the laws and media culture of the United States currently provide more protections for victims of sexual assault than any other crime.… Read more »
Mike You are making the assumption that it is Either – Or! It’s a spectrum form High to Low. I look at places such as Afghanistan/Pakistan/India/ Zimbabwe/Congo/Rwanda/South Africa where there is a High Rape Culture and compare it with places such as The USA/UK/Germany/France … in fact so many places where by comparison there is a Low Rape Culture. Of course to some making that comparison means you have to be a Rape Denier/Victim Blamer/Victim Shamer ….. because Comparison is not allowed. Rape Is Rape Is Rape Is Rape. So when someone has a high level of protection and their… Read more »
Mediahound, That doesn’t make any sense. The moment you move from a binary test to a spectrum, you have created an un-falsifiable hypothesis. At that point it’s a tautology, it exists because you claim it exists, and where there’s no evidence of it, that’s only because it’s “low” as opposed to non-existent. If this is going to be a meaningful term, it has to be falsifiable. We have to be able to say “It exists here, and does not exist there because of evidence X,” otherwise we can’t be sure it exists anywhere. The moment we posit that it exists,… Read more »
Mike – you are preaching to the converted. You have presented the argument which shows why Governments, The United Nations, NGO’s, Charities and Academics don’t use the term – and have avoided it since it was first created circa 1974. It only became trendy on Google with the advent of Slutwalk. – you just have to check the analytics. Oddly both are very much in decline. Link to Google Trends. The term “Rape Culture” has just gotten in the way of dealing with the issues of rape, sexual violence, gender inequality, social and cultural barriers to equality, gender economic inequality… Read more »
How about we include definitions like this?
Rape culture is Melissa McEwan speaking of rape as if women don’t rape.
Abuse culture is researchers and information outlets falsifying and misrepresenting data to cover up female perpetrated abuse.
False accusation culture is eroding the presumption of innocence for the accused and denying FA’s are a problem.
Thanks for writing this! Yes, I wish creation men would read my body language and get the hell away from me! Every time I go to a cocktail party, without fail, some guy will glom onto me and if it wasn’t for my female friends, he would be right up next to me like glue! I am a polite petite Asian woman so perhaps they think that I will be acting like a geisha or something…weird how some men are! Tonight I will have a mini HS reunion with some old friends….one of the classmates crushed on me long ago… Read more »
Didn’t we already establish that rape culture is a ridiculous idea. Lets rehash. 1) Rape rates are correlated with robbery and murder. 2) The average rapist (person convicted of rape) is more likely to have committed other violent crimes like assault, burglery and theft and also more likely to have substance abuse problems (THEY ARE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE) 3) Rape rates increase up to 1994 and then decreased from 1994 to 2010. So somehow it must be the case that a culture was becoming more “rapey” up until 1994 and then less rapey from 1994 to 2010. And somehow the… Read more »
I’m always struck by the views of SABINE SIELKE In the United States the belief that representations of violence reproduce real violence was reinforced in the 1980s and 1990s by an intensified debate of prominent cases of rape, date rape, and sexual harassment within the media. This prominence of rape and sexual violence in popular culture seemed to suggest that American culture is a “rape culture.” However, the term rape culture misleadingly hints that rape occurs more frequently in a culture that talks about rape intensively than in cultures that deny its existence. Instead of documenting the state of real… Read more »
When feminists try to count the number of rape victim they ignore police statistics, which is probably what you are looking at. Rather they looking at studies that ask women something to the effect of “have you ever been forced or coerced into sex?” There are a surprising number of women who DO NOT report what happened, and a really surprising number of women who DO NOT call what happened to them “rape” even though they agree with statements that fit the definition of “rape”. If you read feminist blogs as often I do there is a disturbing number of… Read more »
Not sure if you are aware or not but the 1 in 71 men being raped stat only includes men who were forcibly penetrated, not forced to penetrate someone. In those same stats (CDC ones I believe you refer to) in a 12 month period 1.1% of women were raped/attempted rape and 1.1% of men were forced to penetrate someone (envelopment) and 79.2% of those men report a female rapist. This makes rape for a 12 month period perpetrated 40% of the time by females. Do you have any stats on how many women have commited rape or forced to… Read more »
“This is the kind of thing that makes me want to quit the human race and become a squid. Squid never do this kind of shit.”
http://boingboing.net/2008/03/26/giant-squid-sex-viol.html
If you watch any animals having sex you realize pretty quickly that by feminist standards all animal sex is rape.
I’m pretty sure that a lot of animal sex is rape by more than just feminist standards. As in by the basic standard of “was there consent.” Not judging that one way other, because they’re animals – but still, commonly rape. Some, like (certain) ducks, have even evolved in ways that reduce the consequence of rape (for animals, pregnancy) – in that they are harder to impregnate if not a consenting partner.
Interesting article – but badly informed. (actually mostly America, because that is what I know stuff about). Thank heavens some have a global view. http://www.genderacrossborders.com I have to wonder how does the case of Pitcairne Island fit into the generalisations? So you looked at Wikipedia and saw a few links to South Africa? Sigh – Huh – oh haven’t we seen such poor writing before. Please Spare us! Such a pity you didn’t look at the talk page – so you missed so many other places: Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, India, Palestine, Turkey, The Roma Diaspora in Europe(Ref Slovenia), Peru, Romania,… Read more »
MediaHound, im not entirely sure what part of the article you are going on about?
Clarification please.
“(actually mostly America, because that is what I know stuff about)” … it sums it up. “Corrective rape of gays and lesbians also occurs around the world, particularly in South Africa; however, in the modern West, support for corrective rape seems mostly limited to YouTube comments sections and the more vile sort of homophobe.” Oh – only South Africa is it? … Jamaica – Ecuador – Kenya – Vietnam – Russia – Zimbabwe …. and those are just a few sources found with less than 60 seconds of googeling. I’m not sure I can be bothered to pull out all… Read more »
Firstly,removing the swears from your article would make it more engaging. Secondly if I were in the process of or was, one of us would be dead him/her or I. I enjoyed your article it is thought provoking and emotional. Generally I believe people (all of us) have it in us to become or turn into sickos, murdering torturing rapist crazy people and that it just takes a moment for something to make us snap and do these terrible things. I think its part of being human unfortunately, which is the scariest theory.
“Generally I believe people (all of us) have it in us to become or turn into sickos, murdering torturing rapist crazy people and that it just takes a moment for something to make us snap and do these terrible things. I think its part of being human unfortunately, which is the scariest theory.” That’s probably true to an extent, but I think it is a mistake to use it as an explanation for the vast majority of rapes. That kind of makes it sound like raping behaviour just springs from nowhere like an unexpected hiccup. Read about Lisak’s work, linked… Read more »
“…which is all wrapped up in issues of race and culture, so it’s politically very sensitive and very complex.”
Ain’t that the truth! Sex and racism! What a combination, and not unique to the UK.