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Talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol is an event many dads put off for as long as possible. Similar to the inevitable sex talk, a conversation about drinking liquor and doing drugs will invariably involve discussions about the dangers and realities of adult life. Most fathers – and moms too – want to let their kids live in a world free of these harsh truths for as long as possible. “Let them have a chance to be kids” is the de facto motto of this approach to parenting.
The problem with this approach is it too often lapses into never having a conversation at all. Or, by the time a parent gets around to talking about serious issues with a son or daughter, their child has already been exposed to these things without the context provided by such a conversation.
We aren’t advocating for parents to teach toddlers about sex, drugs, and rock & roll, but it’s imperative for dads (and moms) to have these conversations with their kids prior to the age when adult-themed elements of life begin to creep into youth.
When it comes to the conversation itself – specifically one about drugs and alcohol – parents ought to strive for a reasonable approach which puts an emphasis on the realities of drug and alcohol use. While it’s ultimately up to you to decide how to talk about mature topics with your child, a reasonable approach would probably go a little something like this:
Talk about the benefits
Here’s a revolutionary idea for you: start the drugs and alcohol talk with your child by mentioning the many reasons why people are taking these substances in the first place. If kids are only told the dangers and risks of drugs and alcohol, they walk away with a misconception wherein only crazy people are taking them (who would willingly do drugs and drink if all they did was hurt you?)
A great launching pad for this is to talk about the medicinal benefits of cannabis. Whether it’s news about alternative medicine or studies on pain management, the results are increasingly espousing the contributions cannabis use is making to improved healthcare.
Furthermore, despite being labeled a gateway drug for decades, cannabis is being credited with reducing drug abuse in states faced with high rates of opioid addiction. In a similar vein, regular marijuana use is helping alcoholics to wean off heavy drinking, which damages the body far more than cannabis ever could.
Discuss the dangers
Once the benefits of drugs and alcohol have been aired out, it’s time to move on to a more traditional part of the conversation. Whether it’s the diminished reaction time associated with heavy marijuana use, the impaired driving and lack of judgment associated with heavy drinking, or the chances of lethal overdose associated with opioids and other hard drugs, the dangers of drugs and alcohol must be discussed at length.
In light of the ongoing opioid epidemic sweeping across the United States and other countries around the world, this part of the conversation is incredibly crucial for parents to cover comprehensively. Rather than dwell on statistics and studies, put an emphasis on how drug and alcohol addiction is something which has the potential to affect virtually anyone. Lawyers, teachers, and grandparents struggle with the pitfalls of drug abuse alongside the more usual suspects like the homeless and young low-income individuals.
Make it relatable
Most kids have a pseudo-ritualistic preference for a certain kind of candy or food. If not, perhaps it’s a borderline obsession with a video game they have to play after school. Use these to help kids understand the nature of drug and alcohol use, in particular, the power of addiction. Express to them how the chemically-charged allure of a physically-addictive substance like cocaine or heroin is dozens of times more potent than the seductive influence of a chocolate bar or the latest version of Minecraft.
Hand the floor over
Let the last stage of the conversation with your kids about drugs and alcohol be an opportunity for them to ask questions. While you may want them to fill up another hour with questions to show their genuine concern for the issue, don’t be surprised if your son or daughter says they don’t have anything to ask. Think back to your own time as a child and how awkward these moments were back then. Don’t take it as a sign they don’t care or haven’t been listening.
As parents, we can only do so much when it comes to keeping our kids out of harm’s way. Sometimes the best thing to do – perhaps the only thing we can do – is to talk to them openly and honestly about the more dangerous aspects of life. These talks often have more of an impact than we realize.
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This is a featured post by site supporter Anne Davis
Photo: Getty Images