Unless you’ve been living in a cave, like the ideas spewed in the latest video released of Donald Trump talking to Billy Bush off-camera, you’ve seen and heard these disgusting few minutes of celebrities talking about how you can “do anything you want” to women if you’re a star.
You can even “grab them by the pu**y.”
This article is not political. This is not Anti-Donald Trump, nor is it Pro-Hillary Clinton. What this is, is pro-humanity. It is pro-respect. Pro-honor. Pro-human-decency.
This is about the concept that these remarks are being defended as “locker room talk” among boys who joke about women all the time and is completely normal. Isn’t it? I mean, haven’t you made vulgar jokes about how you can do whatever the hell you want to a woman just because you’re a celebrity and she shouldn’t have any say in it?
Oh, you haven’t? Good. Me neither.
You see, I grew up playing sports. I go to the gym. I taught martial arts with a bunch of dudes. I am no stranger to locker room talk and have participated in my share, but as a man who has actual respect for women, I understand the clear distinction between joking with the boys, and joking about sexual assault.
This is the reason women don’t trust men. This is the reason why good men feel lost in the world. Everyone automatically assumes that the second the door closes and nobody is listening, the gloves come off and every guy reverts back to his caveman roots. I have dedicated my life to battling that idea and showing the world that good men DO exist, so when this nonsense comes to light, the good men of the world need to stand up and stand together.
We need to have the courage to tell men like Trump that their misogynistic jokes are not cool. That it’s out of line. That they’re acting like an idiot. Men who stand by and giggle like Billy Bush did in the “Trump Tape” are just as guilty of perpetuating this mindset as Trump himself. One might call him an accomplice. Maybe he was just going with the flow to seem cool to someone he considers an “Alpha,” which is the biggest veil held over Trump’s personality of them all. Or, maybe he really agrees with Trump’s mindset and was having the time of his life, who knows.
It’s difficult to tell another guy to stop joking around like that. You’ll be judged, fought against, and maybe even lose a few friends. Hell, I know I’m going to lose my share of readers and supporters because of this article, too. But I don’t need to be supported by people who are okay with sexual assault.
Men standing up against jokes about sexual assault is an incredibly underrated issue in our society, because men are the ones perpetuating the mindset, so men need to be the ones to stop it.
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Guys will joke about you losing your “man card” and tell you that you’re betraying your own kind by standing with women – but standing with women is standing with humanity. Standing with women is standing for respect and recognition for all human beings as human beings. Men standing up against jokes about sexual assault is an incredibly underrated issue in our society, because men are the ones perpetuating the mindset, so men need to be the ones to stop it.
It astonishes me when I hear “men” trying to defend this mindset by bringing up other people’s bad behavior like a bunch of lemmings jumping off of a cliff. As if “Well, so-and-so did worse!” is supposed to cancel out the actions of the caveman in discussion. Bullshit! We do not create good by comparing bad behavior to worse behavior. We create good by condemning the bad behavior and only accepting the good into our lives.
If you think grabbing any woman you want by the private parts is funny locker room talk, then I’d genuinely love to see how you’d react if a celebrity came up to a woman in your life and did whatever he wanted to her against her will. Still seem like entertainment to you?
No man is entitled to any woman’s body, regardless of his celebrity status or level of financial success. Period.
If you want to talk about what being a MAN is about, it is about having the integrity, honor, and courage to BE A MAN in any environment. It is about consistency. It is about championing the rights of all human beings, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, or any other categorization. It is NOT about taking advantage of people whom you clearly do not respect nor see as an equal.
This is about raising our standards as a civilization, recognizing that we are better than this.
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This is not about politics. This is about humanity.
This is about who we want to be a role model for our sons and daughters.
This is about raising our standards as a civilization, recognizing that we are better than this.
This is about what we, as a society, accept as right or wrong.
“Chivalry – the real definition of honoring women in person and behind closed doors. A gentleman should be a constant, not something you take out for “showtime.” The more people shun this type of old boys’ club behavior, the more we raise boys to be honorable men. The more we champion respect, the more we champion girls and women.” – Kathy Coffey
This is the tipping point. The time where men either stand up and show their true colors, or sit down and show them. Which side are you on?
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This article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog
Photo credit: Getty Images
Undecided. The cave is more like a summer home these days.