The wrestling gimmicks most like today’s presidential candidates can actually be found in the 20th Century – to be exact, the 1990s.
Throughout the course of the 2015-2016 presidential election, many articles were published comparing the candidates to things like alcoholic beverages and fraternities. There are even articles and forums which, to my surprise, compare the candidates to former and current champions in World Wrestling Entertainment. The choices of the wrestlers, moreover the explanation as to why they were chosen, made more sense than one might expect. The only flaw was that the wrestlers selected were those exclusive to the 21st Century. In my opinion, the wrestling gimmicks most like today’s presidential candidates can actually be found in the 20th Century – to be exact, the 1990s.
Donald Trump is the Million Dollar Man
The Million Dollar Man in the 90s was among the top heels (bad guys) in the WWF. The chief executive of Money, Inc., The Million Dollar man, described by the WWE as the organization’s “most despised villain,” was a businessman of sorts who was braggadocios, unabashedly greedy and, like Mr. Donald Trump – who according to a March Washington Post poll would be, if nominated by the Republicans, the least popular major party nominee – kept a meek, subservient black man close by (Dr. Ben Carson would be Virgil).
Bernie Sanders is I.R.S
Similarly to the popular Vermont Senator who on Saturday won the Wyoming primary, Mr. Irwin R. Schyster, commonly referred to as I.R.S, spoke often and almost exclusively about getting tax delinquents to pay their fair share. Unlike I.R.S, who at a point teamed up with The Million Dollar Man, Mr. Bernie Sanders is perceived as a babyface (a good guy) who doesn’t rely on the 1 percent for assistance, but rather everyday Americans: Mr. Sanders on April 1st announced he broke his own grassroots fundraising record, receiving more than $44 million in March.
Ted Cruz is Razor Ramon
Mr. Ted Cruz, like Razor Ramon, is of Cuban descent and is not very liked by his peers: Senator Lindsey Graham – who has endorsed Mr. Cruz in default of a better choice – said once the Texas Senator is so disliked that no one in the Senate would convict his killer. Both Razor Ramon and Mr. Cruz – commonly referred to as Lyin’ Ted by Mr. Trump – are characterized as the bad guy, though Razor Ramon proudly used it as his moniker whereas Mr. Cruz, whose New York polling numbers are around 20%, negates it.
Hillary Clinton is Chyna
Like Chyna during the Attitude era, Mrs. Hillary Clinton, who was defeated in the last several bouts against Mr. Sanders but who’s has a strong lead over him in New York polling, is determined to be in the main event against a man and, while doing so, make history. Mrs. Clinton wants to become the first woman to ever occupy the office of President of the United States whereas Chyna became the first woman to ever be crowned the WWF Intercontinental Champion. A striking, though not flattering, similarity between Chyna and Mrs. Clinton is that in photos, soundbites, headlines, videos and memories, they’ll be forever linked to a charismatic man who once said, or suggested, to another: “suck it.”
John Kasich is the Brooklyn Brawler
The Brooklyn Brawler, a character known for losing bouts to brand-name stars, and Ohio Governor Mr. John Kasich, who’s currently the closest challenger to Mr. Trump’s front-runner status in New York, will be remembered as good workers who were never larger than life characters; though Mr. Kasich last month drew a large crowd at Villanova University in Pennsylvania following his debut victory in Ohio – The Brooklyn Brawler once pinned Triple H. And when compared to their peers, The Brooklyn Brawler and Mr. Kasich, who over the last year acquired roughly $40 million in earned media (Mr. Trump’s amount neared $2 billion), receive very little national television exposure.
Thanks for reading. Until next time, I’m Flood the Drummer® & I’m Drumming for JUSTICE!™
Photo: Getty Images