Somewhere between age 18 and now, dependent on my maturation rate and experiences, I came to be viewed as a “grown ass man” by other men. Now at 54 I live in a diverse group of other grown ass men in age, color, religion, incomes, education, sexual orientation, political affiliation, sizes, shapes, and statures.
What we share with each other is an innate presence of our masculine. A combination of chemicals and psyche that affects our bodies and influences our thoughts. From the moment we wake up, all during our day, and then through our sleep cycles until we wake again this inherent process is the same. It doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, gay or straight, Republican or Democrat, religious or not, rich or poor, or short or tall. We are men.
The Mature Masculine is Our Meeting Point
Masculinity is our common ground. It is a place we can meet, understand one another, challenge each other, and find clarity for our way forward. Right now in the complexity of our world, in the ills of our nation, in the tensions between races, religions, and genders, as men we need to be talking to one another. We need to be making decisions for ourselves and our future generations from our common place of the mature masculine.
There is a conversation needed about how I as a man, and you as a man, choose to show up in the United States and in our world right now. Today I see a lot of fear being spoken, spread, and encouraged in our political and social conversations by some men. Fear of other races, of other religions, of the other gender, of other sexual orientations, of other, of other, of other.
Today, the rallying force of this fear is Donald Trump, a man encouraging other men to live in his infantile sense of masculinity. The images I see of Trump, gathering other men around him, is one that holds no other man accountable for his masculine presence. These images show grown ass men pushing and shoving women. Men punching other men, even threatening death, and only because of spoken words. Donald Trump not only supports this behavior, he grossly encourages it.
What the fuck is happening to the warrior masculine where a man can hold his own boundaries without violent attack against another? Where is a man’s sovereign masculine that isn’t threatened by another’s beliefs, but maintains respect in the face of differences? Where is the lover masculine that doesn’t objectify and degrade another, but with strength supports, uplifts, and encourages?
Where is the mature masculine? Where is this masculinity in the Trump rhetoric? In Donald Trump himself?
The Immature Masculine Lives in Fear
Fear without strength, without the ability to stand and face it, and choosing instead to bully and build walls is a manifestation of the infantile masculine. Fear that leads to the oppression, rejection, and disrespect of entire groups, without investigation, understanding, and curiosity of the individual is a tyrannical masculine. This is not the masculinity I will embrace for myself, or one I can support in other men as we face the challenges of our country.
Courage is strength in the presence of one’s fear. It is foundational for the mature masculine. It comes from a practice of respect for each individual of any race, of any religion, of any gender, of any “other” as we work toward solutions.
Donald Trump lacks mature masculinity because he lacks basic respect of others. This is seen in his words and actions towards other races, genders, abilities, and religions. He is a tyrant king in his expression of masculinity. I have no interest living in a world filled with the immature masculine of tyrant kings.
Mature Masculinity Is Responsible
We have a responsibility men, regardless of our politics, our race, our economics, or any other of “our” identifiers, to come together and be men who will support a country and a world that treats everyone with respect, even if we disagree on issues. This is living and acting from our mature masculine. Will you stand with me as a grown ass man and seek solutions from a mature masculinity?
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