Somewhere between age 18 and now, dependent on my maturation rate and experiences, I came to be viewed as a “grown ass man” by other men. Now at 54 I live in a diverse group of other grown ass men in age, color, religion, incomes, education, sexual orientation, political affiliation, sizes, shapes, and statures.
What we share with each other is an innate presence of our masculine. A combination of chemicals and psyche that affects our bodies and influences our thoughts. From the moment we wake up, all during our day, and then through our sleep cycles until we wake again this inherent process is the same. It doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, gay or straight, Republican or Democrat, religious or not, rich or poor, or short or tall. We are men.
The Mature Masculine is Our Meeting Point
Masculinity is our common ground. It is a place we can meet, understand one another, challenge each other, and find clarity for our way forward. Right now in the complexity of our world, in the ills of our nation, in the tensions between races, religions, and genders, as men we need to be talking to one another. We need to be making decisions for ourselves and our future generations from our common place of the mature masculine.
These images show grown ass men pushing and shoving women. Men punching other men, even threatening death, and only because of spoken words.
|
There is a conversation needed about how I as a man, and you as a man, choose to show up in the United States and in our world right now. Today I see a lot of fear being spoken, spread, and encouraged in our political and social conversations by some men. Fear of other races, of other religions, of the other gender, of other sexual orientations, of other, of other, of other.
Today, the rallying force of this fear is Donald Trump, a man encouraging other men to live in his infantile sense of masculinity. The images I see of Trump, gathering other men around him, is one that holds no other man accountable for his masculine presence. These images show grown ass men pushing and shoving women. Men punching other men, even threatening death, and only because of spoken words. Donald Trump not only supports this behavior, he grossly encourages it.
What the fuck is happening to the warrior masculine where a man can hold his own boundaries without violent attack against another? Where is a man’s sovereign masculine that isn’t threatened by another’s beliefs, but maintains respect in the face of differences? Where is the lover masculine that doesn’t objectify and degrade another, but with strength supports, uplifts, and encourages?
Where is the mature masculine? Where is this masculinity in the Trump rhetoric? In Donald Trump himself?
The Immature Masculine Lives in Fear
Fear without strength, without the ability to stand and face it, and choosing instead to bully and build walls is a manifestation of the infantile masculine. Fear that leads to the oppression, rejection, and disrespect of entire groups, without investigation, understanding, and curiosity of the individual is a tyrannical masculine. This is not the masculinity I will embrace for myself, or one I can support in other men as we face the challenges of our country.
Donald Trump lacks mature masculinity because he lacks basic respect of others.
|
Courage is strength in the presence of one’s fear. It is foundational for the mature masculine. It comes from a practice of respect for each individual of any race, of any religion, of any gender, of any “other” as we work toward solutions.
Donald Trump lacks mature masculinity because he lacks basic respect of others. This is seen in his words and actions towards other races, genders, abilities, and religions. He is a tyrant king in his expression of masculinity. I have no interest living in a world filled with the immature masculine of tyrant kings.
Mature Masculinity Is Responsible
We have a responsibility men, regardless of our politics, our race, our economics, or any other of “our” identifiers, to come together and be men who will support a country and a world that treats everyone with respect, even if we disagree on issues. This is living and acting from our mature masculine. Will you stand with me as a grown ass man and seek solutions from a mature masculinity?
Our sons are watching, our country is waning, and our world is waiting.
—
Photo: Getty Images
Was just speaking on this this morning! Well said and to the point. To me, this looks like a golden opportunity for this conversation to rise. In Donnies 🙂 adolescent expression of of manhood, we are all getting an opportunity to look inside, see where the trump lies in us, quickly course correct and continue the conversation to help us all grow into a healthier collective. Don is a pawn for the dawn of the age of Healthy Communication where we can look inside and see the patterns clearly and step up boldly to eradicate ignorance, as it truly is… Read more »
I appreciate your comment Daniel. I agree Trump has served a purpose to bring to light much needed conversation on many issues arround gender, race, and “differences” where ignorance seems to trump (pun intended) real understanding. Thanks for reading the article.
You do realise that “Kinder and Gentler” was the mantra we used to subvert Honduras, invade Panama and bomb Iraq the first time ? Shit, we had it as a unit patch for our murder trips into Kosovo. For continuity sake, you should drop the tagline or re-evaluate the ‘masculine’ idiom you are pushing. Signed 48, been there, did that, and I care not one wit about TV prattle.
Thanks Boris for your comment. I’m not advocating “Kinder and Gentler”. I’m proposing as men we choose our behaviors from the mature masculine which understands our strength and exercises respect of others. From this place of the masculine our boundaries aren’t threatened by another’s words or non-violent presence. It does not subvert or invade.
I believe what you pointed out is what happens when men act from the immature masculine. I’ll choose to keep, and promote, the mature masculine that shows up with courage, wisdom, respect, and strength to manage our world today.