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Since I was a little girl around 7 years old, I always appreciated heroes. I loved Babe Ruth, another great baseball player from my hometown of Lynn, Mass., Harry Agannis, and Patrolman Twomey who would ride by on his motorcycle either waving to me or stopping to speak with me.
I looked up to my dad because he owned shoe factories throughout New England, was head of the Conference of Christians and Jews, was in politics in the Republican party in NH, and had no fear of making speeches in front of thousands of people. I also looked up to my Aunt Rose, my mum’s younger sister, who was so kind and at that time taught children who were physically challenged.
But reality began to move in as I moved into my teenage years. I saw my dad was doing all of the above, not so much that he cared about it, but to get ahead, mainly in his political work. He became the head Republican fundraiser for the State of New Hampshire when Reagan became President. He asked me if I would work in his office. I slowly began to see what went on behind the scenes and began having disagreements with my dad regarding what and why he was doing what he was doing. I was beginning to realize that I was more for the people and he was more for gaining recognition. He actually was friends with one of the Governor’s of NH who he invited to my wedding. I used to joke, in a sarcastic and angry way, that my wedding was for the Governor and not for me and my beloved.
Around when I was 16 years old, It became clear that there was a rapid dishonesty that I saw in my dad and that I saw in Republican Politics. I’m not saying Democrats were angels then or now but it was the beginning of my learning how dishonest most people were in politics, and I never felt the Republicans were for the masses, just for the rich. It got to a point that I could no longer speak to my dad about politics.
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I never thought I was strong enough to deal with all of the BS and I truly had a deep hatred for politicians. Not all, but most.
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I knew that I was gravitating toward people power, the idea of being in The Peace Corp., established by President John F. Kennedy. Also, never seeing anyone in my family, both male or female speak up and out about things that were wrong in politics, or bad things that happened to me in school like anti-semitism.
I just saw fear and my family trying to look the part on the outside of a white upper middle class family in Lynn, Mass. There was no longer anyone in my family I could look up to. And if I would speak out it was never supported and I was told “that I should not rock the boat” which made me even angrier. I realized I had no allies within my family. They were all neutral. And under that neutrality was fear of the truth and speaking out about what they saw was wrong.
The Republican Party to me has always been a party of white, white men just being in politics so they could get ahead and just being in support of the rich man. Deep down inside a hatred formed for many of these men and I knew I never wanted to be like them, my family, and I always looked at politics as being dirty. It appalled me.
I stayed away from becoming active politically until I lived in downtown Brooklyn in the 80’s and 90’s. I joined Brooklyn Parents for Peace, an organization that was fighting to keep out nuclear subs from a port in Staten Island, and went on the demonstrations, and would go down to City Hall and meet with the Borough President on many of the problems in our community. Just sitting at the long table with the Borough President and his assistants the nausea came up in me again. I felt all of the BS being spoken and I just wanted to get out of the meeting as fast as I could.
During this same time delegates were beginning to run to go to the Democratic Convention. For some reason, and to this day I don’t understand it, but the head of Brooklyn Parents for Peace asked if I would run to be a delegate at the Democratic National Convention. Oh, I didn’t want to, but I loved the head of this organization, and I was also dealing with my own personal demons that were making it almost impossible for me to be around people and be outdoors without getting panic attacks and agoraphobia-fear of the outdoors. But I said yes.
They also asked if I would speak at the Red Hook Tenant’s Association and also knock on doors in their apartments. I said I would do it but mind you when you went to the apartments, which were also being used by the drug dealers of the day, you would knock on the door, and stand to the side in case any gun shots would come through the door. The Head of Brooklyn Parent’s for Peace would come with me. She had so much experience being in the Weathermen when the organization first started, which when she was in it was non-violent.
So I made my speech in front of the Tenant’s Association and I went to the buildings and knocked on the doors. But that was all I could do. The months went by and when we were supposed to hear who won as delegates from my district, which was also predominantly black, I went on a trip with my husband at the time to Big Sur, California.
While there I got a call that I won as Democratic Delegate for the Convention. I hadn’t really done much but was amazed that i had won. Because of that success they asked me to run for Assemblywoman when the seat was open but I told them “I didn’t have the stomach for politics. Too many lies and people in it for their own personal gain.” I never thought I was strong enough to deal with all of the BS and I truly had a deep hatred for politicians. Not all, but most.
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Now here we are in the year 2017. When I first heard that DT was running for President I shook with anger. I hated this man and everything he stood for. I began joining group political calls with The Good Men Project (GMP) to “Stop Trump”. I knew I had to do something to try and stop this man from destroying our country and no matter the outcome I would have felt horrible if I did nothing. The day we found out he had won my friend and I just sat in this restaurant crying trying to console one another.
The only thing that helped me out was again joining the groups on the GMP that were trying to make changes in our culture and work against everything that DT stood for. Groups on Racism, Sexism, Intersectionality and many more. So helpful for me in opening my eyes up in trying to make deep changes in our culture. I knew I could not do it alone. Thank goodness I was gaining some respect for many of the males and females running these groups, because I was beginning to lose hope in people having any moral courage and standing up for what they believe in.
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I just wanted to squash something all over his face. He could care less about the people. More for popular gain.
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I’ve seen too many people say they were honest and upright citizens but when push came to shove they didn’t have the courage to be honest and that makes me feel crazy. Citizens in my community in Harlem who profess to being honest, but I can see right through their dishonesty. I cannot even watch DT on television.
When I was watching some of the men questioning Sally Yates and seeing how disrespectful they were to her, I truly wanted to kill them all. You could tell these guys have been in government way too long, don’t give a sh*t about the people, and are in it for their own personal gain.
Plus seeing all of the lies coming out of the WH, and seeing the Republicans not make one move to impeach this horrible President that we have and all of the horrible people he has hired for positions they know nothing about. It’s like watching crazy land.
I also realized up until this election how much I had taken for granted with our democracy in our country. My white privilege that I had known nothing about, but realize I can do something about it now because I have awareness of this privilege. And don’t talk to me and tell me “some of my best friends are black, Jewish et al.” That is so racist. Bring it down with some humility, folks.
Witnessing the deportations of immigrants, the hatefulness of police shooting unarmed young black men, the rise in Anti-Semitism and the out and out hatred of everything in this country that isn’t white, the continuation of slavery by how many black men are in our prison system and cannot get out—mainly because of no money. It just sickens me.
The gall of Speaker of the House Ryan coming a few weeks ago to meet the people of the Success Academy in Harlem, when he had just voted against healthcare for the people and voted in the head of the schools, who truly is against public education. And seeing the smirk on his face in newspaper articles they’ve written about him.
Again, I just wanted to squash something all over his face. He could care less about the people. More for popular gain. We demonstrated across from the school, giving him the kind of welcome he deserved.
I feel DT will be impeached and all of the people he hired for different offices will go also. I don’t know how much damage he will do before he and all the rest of them leave, but I want them to leave as soon as possible.
I know we need many more women and men and women of color in politics locally. Big changes need to be made within our culture and we need to understand how important it is to speak up and speak out.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images