Boobs are God’s gift to mankind. God bless the boob!
J.R. Reed
Disclaimer: You may find this a bit crass and, well, man-ish. I may use a slang word here or there that may or may not be your first choice if discussing this particular subject. Or your second choice. Or your third. I make no apologies for what I say here or how I say it. Breast cancer is a serious thing and no matter what words I use, the message is a simple one: Breast cancer sucks and we need to find a cure. I know this is a subject many women are passionate about and a large number of men could care less about. For the men I have included several pictures featuring nice cleavage in hopes that they will actually read this and not just download the photos. The boobs pictured here all belong to fellow bloggers and I thank them for their generosity in donating them and I thank God for giving them the racks that he did. Amen.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month
I am VERY aware of breasts. Not “too aware”, but aware. I don’t think that anyone would ever report me for leering at a woman at the mall and I don’t generally look down at a woman in a low cut shirt who is sitting in front of me. OK, maybe I sometimes do, but I’m not obvious about it.
I’m not sure at what age I first became aware that breasts were a very good thing. I do remember being 10 or 11 and my friend Marc and I riding our Schwinn 10-speeds over to what I now realize was some stoner record shop to buy the Farrah Fawcett poster. This one right here. In 1976 every boy over 10 wanted this thing.
I bought it with my own money, rode home and proudly hung it up on the wall facing my bed. I sat down to admire it, but the admiration was short lived. I’m not sure if it was my mom or my dad who came into my room first, but suffice it to say that within 30 minutes I had been yelled at, lectured to, gotten the whole “disappointment” speech and was in the car with the poster wrapped up, on my way to return it to the store. Talk about a pre-teen cock-block.
Now may be a perfect to note that when I say, I like boobs, I mean all boobs. Big cans or small ones. Fake juggs or a natural bosom. I prefer nice boobs, but saggy tits are still tits and therefore are wonderful creations.
God made some too big for their users liking and the women have them reduced. Other chicks would prefer bigger racks, so they pay a doctor to stick sterile water in their chest. Many of those ladies migrate to to the San Fernando Valley in California, where they make films of obscene nature. Or so I’ve heard.
J.R., enough about your bullshit stories and lame tales. What about breast cancer? What’s up with that? OK. Fine.
2006 is the last year the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has statistics for. During that year 191,410 women found out they had breast cancer. That same year 40,820 died from the disease. That’s a lot of boobs (and women) to be forever lost. I always try to put a positive spin on things, and I like to think that 80% of the women will survive. They might lose a boob, but they will live.
I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a breast. Some guys may argue that it’s similar to getting cancer of the sack and having a nut cut off, but I don’t think so. With ball cancer a guy loses something that he has a close, personal relationship with, but it’s not like its out there for the world to see, as it is with a woman who loses a breast.
Breast cancer is the number one killer of Latina women and the number two killer of women in all other races. If you’re talking about the number one or two killer of your gender, don’t you think you should be feeling yourself up a bit more? If any women need help with their self exams, I volunteer to help out on a regular basis. A very regular basis. I’m just saying.
As mentioned previously, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and you may have noticed there’s pink everywhere. For years and years breast cancer was one of those diseases that didn’t get the media exposure it should have. Kind of like rabies or malaria.
In recent years the fight against breast cancer has grown and two of the biggest groups to grab onto the boob train are the NFL and NHL. During a designated time in October as part of the Hockey Fights Cancer campaign, many NHL players play with pink sticks, then autograph them, auction them and give the money to charity. Likewise in the NFL, throughout October you will see players wearing pink gloves, have pink on their cleats and have pink towels hanging from their waist.
There’s no definitive thing you can do to prevent breast cancer, but self examining yourself on a regular basis is the best way to stop it early. Once you turn Cougar age you should get them photographed (X-ray’d) ever year. There are some that would say you should start at 25. I’m not a woman and I don’t have a set of my own, but I think saving as many chestal appendages as possible is a great thing!
Chicks aren’t the only ones who can get breast cancer. More men are getting it than ever before. I link it directly to the ever increasing “moob”* problem, or as I like to call them, “man racks”. Almost 2,000 men are expected to be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer this year. Slightly less than 400 will die.
And to answer the question I know every dude is wondering: Yes, men do get mastectomies and no, they will not get you a new B cup after they remove your current one. Guys need to start rubbing and probing their own chest. I know it may seem odd and slightly creepy to feel for lumps in your tits, but you need to. If you’re not sure how to do it, ask your wife or girlfriend how to do it. Not married? Maybe you can pay a hot chick $20 to feel your chest and tell you what she thinks. Just a thought.
The fight for this cause is massive. Thousands of groups and organizations are available both locally and nationally. I want to thank BoobieWednesday.com, for helping me with this and to my high school friend Marianne for the “Fuck Cancer” pic at the top of the post. Many thanks also to my Twitter/blogger friends, @WookiesGirl @violetsouffle @SingleMom75 @lfacemaker @NotTheCar and @WithRedLips for providing the ample photographs you are enjoying right now. If you click on their pictures you can link to their Twitter sites or blogs.
Finally, if you’re on Twitter, please participate in #BoobieWed Not sure what the hell I just said? Simply go to Twitter.com and type #boobiewed in the search box and gaze in wonder at the plethora of people supporting the cause.
If you have a story to share, a charity mention or another picture to share with us, please comment or use the “Contact J.R.” button at the top. If you enjoyed this, please tell your friends and while you’re here, feel free to bump around the site. If you feel so inclined, please subscribe.
J.R.
* a boob which is located on the chest of a man. Men with moobs should not take their shirt off for any reason. Ever.
Check out these sites:
www.cancercenter.com
www.cancer.org/
If you have any other good links, stories or groups helping out, please put them in the comment section for others to see. Please tell a friend. Hell, tell them all…
Awesome post from an expert boob man! 😉
First I had to scan through the pics, then I had to read the post… THEN my wife came in and thought I was reading porn. To get out of hot water, I made her read it. She said it was great, in case you wanted to know. =-)
What a titilating post!
Even though I joked about sending JR a picture of my moobs, I can assure you those are not my moobs.
Like Piper said, it’s my ass. Just kidding. Really, I’m kidding.
Those moobs are really his ass. Admit it. Thanks for the post, JR.
Oops, sorry 🙂 Woke up from a migraine, clicked a link from #boobiewed and didn’t really pay attention. I suck at life.
It’s no big deal. It actually made Jack laugh, so that’s a good thing…
Sorry, that line about the guest post made me laugh.
Great guest post! I’m a little jealous those moobs are larger then my tatas though.
I appreciate the nice comment, but this is my blog and not a guest post. What made you think it was a guest post? Is it way better than the other shit I have here? Damn….
Awesome Post JR!! Great job!
Thanks for the nice words. And for the help with the links. And for donating your fine-ass rack for the cause!
Awesome! And the moobs made me giggle.
Great post. I’m gonna RT!