I blame the second can of Amp I slammed about 20 seconds before we cracked the mic’s on.
It’s been an interesting week. This morning I drove to get coffee before heading to work and I was contemplating how I would start this post. When I arrived at my office, I realized some things write themselves.
Jesus and a bitch
We’re supposed to open at 8 AM, but I don’t start until 8:30. My brother’s tailor, Jesus, opens at 8 and I get there at 8:30 to do my computer work. At least, that’s the way it’s supposed to happen. Jesus (pronounced “Hey Zeus” not Jesus, as in Christ) informed me last night that he was leaving today at 4 AM to go to Corona to kill a horse. I stared at him with a very puzzled look and said, “Uh…OK. Have fun.” He then proceeded to invite me to his tia’s (aunt’s) house on Saturday for barbacoa. Barbacoa is a Latin form of cooking meat that is basically barbecue. If it’s done right, it’s some tasty stuff.
I quickly put two and two together in my head and politely declined the invite. If he’s killing a horse on Friday and having barbacoa on Saturday, I figured I would pass. At that point, Leonel (pronounced Lionel) walked by. Jesus and Leonel are both from Guatamala, but Leonel understands English much better than his amigo. I asked Leonel if they were seriously killing a horse, then eating it on Saturday. He looked at me like I was sniffing glue.
“What are you talking about?” He asked. I explained what Jesus told me and the two of them had a brief and apparently entertaining conversation in Spanish about the crazy gringo. Leonel assured me they were NOT slaughtering a horse, but rather a cow. That made a lot more sense and I told him I appreciated the offer, but I still had other plans on Saturday. That brings us back to this morning.
I arrived at work at 8:15 and found a woman sitting in her car out front. I parked my car and was walking towards the door when she stormed out of her piece of crap and screamed, “You’re late.” I stopped in my tracks and stared at her for a moment, then politely said, “I start at 8:30. I’m actually early.” She didn’t dig hearing that and she screamed even louder, “The sign says you start at 8.”
I took a deep breath, looked her in the eye and said, “The sign doesn’t have my work schedule on it. I start at 8:30. Jesus is our tailor and he opens at 8, but obviously he’s not here. What is it you need? Maybe I can help you.” She got even more upset and bellowed, “Are you a tailor?” I shook my head no and she replied, “I doubted it.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? She doubted I was a tailor? How the hell could she tell that? I looked down and noticed she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. “That figures,” I thought to myself. “She probably scares away any guy who talks to her.” If this is the way my day is going to be, I’m gonna need to start drinking pretty soon. “Holy shit she’s a bitch,” I thought.
Long story short, she said she would come back when Jesus was here and asked when that would be. I apologized and said I didn’t know how long it took to actually slaughter a horse or cow or whatever they were doing, but if she would leave a name and number I would have someone return her call. She said not to bother and stormed off in her car. What a bitch.
Back on the air
On a happier note, On Wednesday I did a radio demo with my co-host Wes The Sports Guy and it went well. I thought I could have done better, but I always think I could do better. I felt like I talked a bit fast at the beginning, but I blame the second can of Amp I slammed about 20 seconds before we cracked the mic’s on. My bad.
The feedback was great and we had two hours of awesome material. This made it difficult for me to put together a 8-minute demo, but we did and it’s up for you to listen to at our website, www.wesandjr.com. If you have a moment, listen and let me know what you think. If you know anyone in talk radio, please send them the link.
We used the studio at KLBC, the #1 college radio station on the west coast, and they asked us if we would like to do a regular show, until we find a permanent paying gig elsewhere. Of course we want to, so I am proud to announce that beginning this Wednesday night you can find Wes and I at KLBC 1610 from 8-9:30 PM on Wednesday nights. If you’re not in Long Beach, you can listen live online. To listen, grab the link HERE.
Drama Queen and high school
Yesterday I went to start the registration process for Drama Queen’s new school. It’s weird to realize she’s actually going to be in high school and if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous, I would be lying. It’s a good school both academically and athletically and I’m nervously awaiting the first time I get a call from the school because my little angel pulled something. You know it’s coming.
School starts August 31 and I’m gonna go ahead and set the line at October 1. I will go ahead and take the under and say I will hear something from a teacher, counselor or someone during the month of September. Any takers?
The book
I’m going to leave you with another happy story. This one is about my novel. The one I’ve not worked on too much in the past 2-3 weeks because I simply haven’t felt the creative juices like I should. I’ve tried to write, but it was pure crap, so I dumped it.
I received an e-mail from my agent yesterday saying he was back from an extended European vacation and that he really liked the revisions I made to a few chapters and that he liked the couple of new chapters I sent him. He went on to say that he is meeting with marketing people from a major publishing company on Tuesday and my book is on the agenda.
He seems to think they will love it, so that’s good. I was so inspired that I knocked out a whopping 600 words last night. The reality is that 600 words is nothing, but considering I’ve written about 50 words in three weeks, 600 in a night is a huge thing.
If you will excuse me, I need to run to the store. Food 4 Less has Amp on sale for $1 a can and I need to pick up some. I always consume a can before going on air and it looks like I’m going to be needing them. How cool is that?
Glad things are looking up for you!!!
Barbacoa is da best! As long as it’s not horse… Congrats on the good news, amigo! Things are looking up (like we knew they would), but careful with the Amp. Although you may need more to keep up with your kid now that she’s in high school. 🙂
re: the expected phone call, don’t worry about it, as we don’t think it’s a reflection of your parenting skills when we call. It’s just making sure the parents and school share the joys of adolescence together. We call to sympathize. re: the misunderstanding about the animal to be slaughtered, I managed to use the phrase “penis of death” in Spanish in front of my non-English speaking history students, when I meant to say death penalty. (pene de muerte vs pena de muerte)Another time I wrote “fuck you” in Spanish on the board, when i was trying to learn the… Read more »
YAY! Thats awesome that you guys will have a chance to do your radio show regularly, it will give paying gigs a chance to find and hear you! That is awesome news! Congrats to you both! Yes, the asshat screaming tool sounds like a bitch and I am sure she is told that on a regular basis, she probably needed her panties tailored since they seemed to have been in a bunch! haha! I feel your pain when it comes to teens in high school. Last spring my Hubby and I took in my teenage, spoiled brat of a sister… Read more »