All of a sudden it was like a flood. A Tsunami of ass.
Yesterday I regaled you all with my tale of one Tucker Max. Tucker turned his drinking/sex stories into a media empire, which consists of two books in print, a major motion picture and a third book on the way.
If you don’t know who Tucker Max is, refer to yesterday’s blog post and pick up his new book, ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST along with his first book, I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL.
Now, without any further ado; I present Tucker Max—The Post Buffalo Book Signing Interview:
JR OK. The idea for the first book?
TM My writing sort of started by accident… Once me and my boys all graduated from Duke Law School, we all went to different cities. Instead of talking about the drunk shit, I started sending e-mails and I would do like, the day after, with my buddies. That first story in my first book, The Sushi Pants Story, is almost verbatim what I sent to my buddies that day.
My friends are like, “these are the funniest things I’ve read, blah, blah, blah, you need to go and publish these; so I went around to every publisher and agent I could find off any list or wherever. And I got 100% rejection. Not 99; 100% rejection!
In 2002 I put them all up on a website, it blew up and now all the publishers were coming to me saying, “Now we want to publish it” and I said, “hey, fuck you guys.”
JR The second book?
TM The second book is just, I had a ton more stories. A lot of stories in here happened before this came out. [taps my copy of I DRINK BEER IN HELL] I could have put them in the first one, but I thought, “how thick can this book be.”
The first half of this one is very much like BEER IN HELL, but the second half stuff that happened AFTER BEER IN HELL. I call it, “The post-fame sex stories”. It’s about how my relationship with women changed after I became famous.
It was a lot of the same sex stories, but now the girls were coming to me instead of me coming to them.
JR What’s probably the oldest person you’ve ever had at a book signing?
TM At this one we had a bunch of grandparents, three or four sets of grandparents. Hmmm. The oldest? I think we had one come through in New York (City) and I thought she was gonna die right there at the table. She had to have been 90 or something.
JR Nice!!! Was she a fan or was she there for someone else?
TM No. She was a fan. I think her granddaughter left a copy of the book at her house or something. She picked it up and read it and she was telling me, “it’s so funny; blah, blah, blah.
Then she starts telling me stories of Frank Sinatra and I was, “Baby, ya gotta move on, I have this whole line of people behind you, and…”
JR Hw about the youngest person to come through? I mean as a fan, not just some young kid…
TM Oh dude…the 15 and 16-year-old girls. They come through here and kinda spook me. I ask a cute one how old she is and she says 16…I’m like, oh my God. If I were at a bar with her I would totally flirt with her.
JR Weird experiences…Or rather, weird experiences at the signings.
TM Well, you saw the dude so drunk he was passed out. I mean, it’s a book signing. It’s not a concert…”
JR Then those other guys that came in at the end…
TM Those two were so retarded. They broke their key off in the ignition, and then want me to do something, like apparently I’m some magician. I can magic their car to work. Ahhh, I get all kinds of shit.
JR How has dating, or rather, going out and drinking, changed since the books came out?
TM Nothing’s really changed with my friends, but the only thing that’s changed is now when I go out and people know who I am when I go out…
I mean, I’m not George Clooney famous and it’s not instantaneous, but I get this a lot with the 18-23 or 24 year olds. They may not recognize me on sight, but when someone hears Tucker Max, they’re all like, “oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah…”
Usually it becomes annoying because people are all, “Hey! How come you’re not fuckin drunk? Let’s do shots!!!”
Everyone has their own expectation of it and its like, they objectify you and they’re all, “Tell me a funny story.” By that point I’m like, dude, if you want to hear the funny story, go out and buy the book.
JR I hate to ask this, but have you ever been hit on my some completely gnarly cougars?
TM Oh. Yeah. Of course. Everything from old to young. Straight. Gay. Black. White.
JR What do you think is the most fucked up name you’re ever had to sign?
TM Like weird spelling?
JR No. Just the weirdest name.
TM. (snaps his fingers) Oh. OK. Here’s one. Um, this girl. It was her nickname. Her nickname was “The Cockpit”. And she wanted me to write it, “To Cockpit…” And I’m like, “Wow. I wonder if you’re a fuckin slut?” That was three or four signings ago…
JR Have you ever been asked to sign a chick’s rack?
TM Oh yeah!!! In fact, this was probably the first signing where someone didn’t ask me to sign. Basically, every single one.
JR If they ask you to, will you?
TM (with a very surprised look on his face) Yeah. Of course.
JR One last thing. How about a couple of Tucker’s Tips For Pullin’ Chicks
TM Guys ask me this all the time and I give them the same two tips. Number one is, stop lying. Most guys have this concept or idea in their heads that they have to trick or manipulate women into sex. And I thought that too when I was 20 0r 21, About age 23 0r 24 I figured out the opposite is true.
The more honest you are with yourself about what you want and with women about who you are; it’s less work for more ass.
And then the other big thing was, uh, a lot of guys care…so much about the results and I think about the same age my perspective switched to sort of, almost like a Buddhist Zen sort of perspective. Like I released all my desires. I stopped caring about the results and now it was all about going out, getting drunk and having fun. All of a sudden it was like a flood. A Tsunami of ass.
As soon as I stopped lying and caring about the result, it was off to the races.
On that note we ended the interview and I rolled in my hooptie back to my crib. I expect two copies of ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST to be at my house any day. One copy is for me to review and I have an autographed copy to give away to the person with the best asshole story.
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