Dude asked Tucker if he was “going out to party tonight?” Tucker looked at him and said, “Not sure. But if I am, it’s going to be with chicks and not with you.”
*The original intent for this was to write a bit about Tucker Max, then go into my interview with him. The reality is that I had too much good shit to say before the interview, so please come back tomorrow for the full Post Buffalo Book Signing Interview With Tucker Max. Enjoy the blog post.
Tucker Max’s empire began much the way mine is starting out; the difference is that his stories are better than mine. WAY better! Would I like my shit to blow up like his did so I can write a couple books, then set off on cross country book tours? Abso-fucking-lutely. When that never happens will I be upset, pissed or distraught? Hell no. I’m having fun here and I hope you are too…
While at Duke law school, Tucker Max and his friends made a bet. His friends bet that Tucker wouldn’t put up a website where girls could fill out an APPLICATION to go on a date with him. Tucker won the bet and after graduating, he and his friends went their separate ways, but still traded e-mails about their dating and drinking stories.
Tucker clearly had the best tales of the bunch and he sent his stories to every book publisher known to man and he got blown off by each and every one. He decided to put his stories online and his shit just blew up!
All of a sudden, people all over knew who Tucker Max was and in an ironic twist of fate (either that or the gods realizing what a righteous dude he was) many of these same publishers came flocking back to him and thus his first book, I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL was published.
Since getting the book deal, Tucker has written and produced a somewhat successful movie version of I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL, has gone on to release a second book, ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST, and is working on a third book.
He’s currently on a 32 city BOOK TOUR and I was lucky enough to get an opportunity to sit down with him one-on-one after his Buffalo stop. (By “one-on-one” I mean that his Tour Manager and the Borders manager were hanging out in the same room as us.
Tucker was scheduled to sign from 7-9, but stayed until shortly after 9:30 so he could accommodate everyone. People started lining up a little before 5 to get his John Hancock on the new book. The final count was 328 people and his Tour Manager, Brittney, considered this to be a pretty successful stop.
I’ve read the first book and laughed my ass off through the whole freakin thing, but I have something to confess. The guy seemed like a pretty cool dude, but somehow I got the feeling that he could be kind of a dick. Like one of those guys that are way cool to hang out with, but gets a bit of money, some hip new friends or some fame and they turn into someone completely different. I went into this with an open mind, but I have to admit, I did wonder.
His publisher and Brittney had me scheduled to interview him after the signing, but I wanted to check this thing out and try to get a feel for who Tucker Max really is. When I arrived, I was way impressed!
I got there around 7:30 and parked myself about 15 or 20 feet from where he was signing. I wanted to be out of the way, but close enough to hear the interaction between Tucker and fan.
Every single person (and I mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON) got a “Nice to meet you”, when they were finished. He greeted every person with a huge smile and they all got either a, “Hey dude” or a “What’s up?” Every word was genuine too. I grew up in So. Cal. and I like to think I’m pretty good at spotting the fake douchebags. He wasn’t one of them.
I heard some classic lines that night. He was absolutely flirting with the ladies, but not too much. One girl came dressed like the chick on the St. Pauli beer bottle and she was not ugly. They chatted for a few minutes and I overheard Tucker give her a little secret to the book. A secret, which I have tucked away in my mind, but promise, I will NEVER use without permission.
He quite randomly told one guy, “You look like you prefer being on the bottom.” And asked a fairly hot young woman, “How do chicks do it in Buffalo? Covered in wing sauce?”
He asked one girl, “Aren’t you a catty bitch?” (She appeared to be)
Right at the end of the signing two dudes were trying to get him to settle an argument and he said, “I’m not Judge Judy. Do I look like I give a fuck?”
Several young men asked about the availability of Brittney, to which he replied, “Dude, I’m not fucking her. Feel free to hit on her if you want.”
I didn’t hear how this particular exchange started, bit it ended with Tucker saying, “She’s uglier than a Buffalo stripper.”
One young man appeared to have smoked a large amount of marijuana just before arriving and Tucker asked him, “Dude, are you covered in cereal?”
Someone wanted to talk football and Tucker was asked what he thought of Marshawn Lynch (this was before the trade) and Tucker said, “It’s fuckin’ cold here. That’s why Marshawn Lynch has all those kids.”
A fairly unattractive co-ed was telling Tucker a story about this guy being all over her, but totally drunk. The long and the short of it was that the only thing inserted that night was a toe and it was inserted into a spot where a toe should never be. She asked Tucker if he thought she could catch anything. He paused for a moment and said, “ I think you’ve got athletes vagina.”
Towards the end some punk ass (who thought he was da man) tried to call Tucker out. He looked at Tucker, turned and faced the 100 or so people still in line and said in a very loud voice, “Are you seriously drinking Pellegrino? Where’s your beer, man?”
Tucker wasted no time in responding. “An 18-year-old douchebag is calling me out? Are you serious? Can you even legally drink a beer, man?”
I will leave you with this final moment, which was in fact, the final moment of the book signing. There was this tall skinny kid wearing one of those beanies with a visor, even though it was 58 degrees at 9:30 PM. He had a beard and looked like one of those hippie kids from college who thinks he knows everything, but in fact is a complete tool.
He had a book signed about 45 minutes before the event was over and he left, but returned just as Tucker and I were heading to the Managers office. Dude asked Tucker if he was “going out to party tonight?”
Tucker looked at him and said, “Not sure. But if I am, it’s going to be with chicks and not with you.” The guy asked Tucker, “What if I had a car full of chicks?”
Tucker played it cool and simply asked, “Do you?” Dude paused a second. Looked around and said, “Uh. See ya….”
I have to say that I totally enjoyed the brief time I had to observe him in action and the fact that he very graciously sat down with me for almost 15 minutes to talk with me was very cool.
I started this blog because it was an outlet for me to tell some stories and entertain a few people. I have no false belief that this thing is gonna blow up and go all viral and shit. On days that I have good posts I can pick up 500 hits. On days with mediocre posts, (like yesterday) 250 or so and days with no posts I will pick up 100-175.
I took a lot of things away from this experience, but one thing sticks out in my mind. If you can write well, give people what they want to read and have a bit of luck, you can go far. I’ve got the first two down (I think). Now all I need is a bit of the third.
Come back tomorrow for Tucker Max—The Post Buffalo Book Signing Interview…
P.S. His publisher is sending me a copy of ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST to review as well as an autographed copy to give away. That giveaway will be happening in a few weeks. Keep checking back…