As a 30-something woman, I have heard men complaining about where to find a “nice girl.” I’m sure you all know the type—they are ready to settle down but haven’t found “the one”. Sometimes it’s true that simply the right person has not come into their path, but likely it has to do with their own habits. If a man wants a nice girl, then he needs to become the man a nice girl wants.
• You judged her too quickly.
No one is perfect. In order to find a partner that is healthy and loving, you should be able to accept a few things that are outside what you want. The way to do this is to come up with five non-negotiables for your life. These are five standards for your partners that are non-negotiable. Anything outside those five things ARE negotiable.
An example: Your five non-negotiables are-
1) She needs to work.
2) She needs to have a car.
3) She needs to love children.
4) She needs to have a good sense of humor.
5) I need to find her attractive.
These are five realistic and specific non-negotiables. Don’t leave them so open-ended that almost anything can be added into the category. Be specific. So if you meet a woman that meets all those standards but she has a child, then that is a negotiable. It is something you should give a chance to see if it works for you. If it doesn’t work for you then don’t date her and put it on your non-negotiable list instead of needing a car.
• You aren’t changing your habits.
You are still going out to clubs and hitting on women, thinking it’s okay because you aren’t committed fully yet. A nice girl is not going to stick around for this behavior. They are going to judge you off your actions and leave you. Let your actions match your words. If your heart desires a healthy and loving partner, then be a healthy and loving person for them.
• You are looking in the wrong places.
I am, admittedly, a nice girl. So I can tell you exactly where to find one. You are likely not going to find her at a bar or club. If you do, then that’s because she’s going out for the first time in a while with her friends. The most likely place to find a nice girl is at work. I know we are not supposed to date our co-workers, but I will tell you why it’s the perfect place. It means she is employed. It means she is responsible. It means she is able to support herself. These are characteristics of a healthy-minded individual.
Other good places to find a nice girl are through friends, at school events (if she has children), or at events; such as weddings, church events, or fairs.
Given these tools and changes, a man should be able to find the right woman. A lot of it is about timing and finding someone you don’t mind compromising for. Just remember that changing yourself for the better is not considered changing yourself for another person. We should all improve ourselves and strive to be better people.
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