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What do women want in a man? That is the million dollar question I have heard over and over again, but the question I will attempt to answer is, “What do women need in a man?”. Generally, you forget what you wanted if you get what you need.
With all the stories of absent fathers, heartbreaks, and domestic violence, a lot of women are understandably hesitant to venture into any relationship, dating, or marriage. They raise the over flogged mantra, “There are no good men left”, but is it possible that they have been looking out for the wrong things in men?
These points will help you decide:
1. Brawn or Brain?
He has a six pack and well rounded chest, his biceps are so toned they make you feel safe, but is that really what should matter to you? Men are natural leaders and the quality of their mind is what should stand out more to you than the state of their bodies.
We all want someone who looks good on a photo and by all means go for it, but beyond that you should ask yourself if he has the right kind of mindset. Where is his brain at? Does he generally have the same outlook on life as you do? You can afford to disagree in little specifics, but not in the broader aspects.
Do you really think he will let you pursue your dreams and be all you want to be? If you get a guy willing to let you grow and support your pursuits, then you’ve got yourself one that should be for keeps.
2. Are You Getting All of the Attention?
How does he treat you… great right? Well, that’s amazing, but are you getting all of the attention?
Here is what I mean, how does he treat the people around you? Does he treat ladies in general well, or are you the only lady who he gets to be a gentleman around? If you are getting all of the respect and attention, it probably feels good, but in the long run, it will bite you.
If he is the kind of guy that holds open the door for you and also lets the lady behind you pass through, then this is a good sign. If he goes through and shuts it once he passes, that may be a bad sign. Of course I am not pointing at particular acts as indicators of a man’s heart, but I am saying watch out for repeated signs.
If he respects people, your friends, your parents, and is generally consistent in character to everyone, then you probably got yourself a good one.
3. Does He Go With You?
So they say that only sissies will follow a woman he loves to a “girly” event, they say he isn’t a real man. Someone even told me that men hate having to go to certain events or going with a woman as her second to an event she was invited to as a guest or guest of honour.
My response to that assertion is, yes, men will feel a bit “squirmish” about certain events, but if he does go with you and acts mature about it, then he is making sacrifices…. he is a good man. Of course you will have to go with him to the games as well if you want to keep it rolling.
I guess what I am asking is, “Does he make sacrifices, when it is obvious that he would rather not?” If he does, you’ve got a keeper.
4. Does He Care?
Of course he cares about me, why else would I even consider Him?. Well, to care is way deeper than him being nice to you. it requires him being there when you need him as much as is possible, I mean you can’t expect him to be superhuman. The point is does he care?
One of the major signs that a man cares for you is if he anticipates your needs and challenges and meets them or at least addresses them before they even become apparent to you. That’s a real good man, sister.
5. Does He Rub It In Your Face?
You messed up, I get it! it should he be the one to protect you? shield you and groom you? ever guessed why the husband is called the “bride groom” on wedding day? it is because it is His job to “groom” the “bride”.
If he reminds you of a transgression every two weeks and holds it over your head, if he makes you feel unworthy of his care and makes you literally want to grovel. He isn’t the best prescription for you right now.
If he is a man that covers up your mess in public and corrects you privately, if he is the kind of guy that never brings it up intentionally again after it is settled, then he is a good man…you should hold on to that.
6. What Does He Think About Money?
Most Men will make money making a top priority, you might as well get used to that with him as well. It should be a good sign, does he work and work hard? Does he try to provide as much as he can? These are all fine.
I read a funny article recently about why You should date a guy from Texas, one of the points on there is because they are good with money. I give it to them, the cowboys can be really productive and prudent, but in all fairness… it’s not always about productivity or location, but temperament. How does he behave in regards to money?
There has to be a line, if he tries to control you with money, bribe you with gifts as a substitute for doing the better things like spending time, then you may want to observe a bit closer. I mean the dude could be real busy and try to make it up with gifts, but if he seems to think he can keep you around with money alone, then you may need to take a walk.
It could be in Texas or Dakorta, Peru or Mali, but good men do exist if you bother to check what matters most before you commit.
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Photo: GettyImages
Chidike Samuelson
“One of the major signs that a man cares for you is if he anticipates your needs and challenges and meets them or at least addresses them before they even become apparent to you. That’s a real good man, sister.”
Are you sure men like that exists?
Yes … I’m one of them. But it’s a two way street, my wife does the same. It’s also something that doesn’t come natural, especially in today’s society.
Hi Tom
When I read this advice I thought this was too much to expect from anyone,and impossible unless you married your psychologist or psychiatrist….
I was wrong.
If you two can do it ,then it is possible.
Hello Iben
I know it sounds too much, but trust me, such Men do exist.
I believe Tom Brechlin is one and I am too. tom also makes a very vital point; its a two way thing.
The thing is that women respond more to care than they give it in such relationships.
Many Men care this much, but cannot sustain it, because it isn’t reciprocated, therefore they feel like they are hemorrhaging.
When you find that Man, hold on to Him and reciprocate, Affirm His care, by words and deeds.
Good men exist, just as good women exist.
The question for women is about timing: when do they REALLY want a good man? The answer is unique to each woman.
The real question is this: Is a good man really good for her?
Just my view on this matter.
His dog says it all … I have two “Field Goldens” which is shown in the picture. Enough said.