Though last year brought the pandemic and many other consequences of it, which we are all still adjusting to, a new year offers hope of something new, different and better.
That’s if you view the year with a level of optimism — which I hope we are all doing, despite everything!
I get it…you have been hoping so long and nothing seems to be happening, but the new year offers a burst of hope that may have faded as the previous year progressed. Today, if you are reading this chances are your hope is for a new relationship…the right relationship for you.
If that’s the case read on….I would have written an article sometime ago about 5 Signs You Are Settling For Someone You Like But Don’t Love and recognized that many persons really questioned if they are in the right relationship for them.
This year I want us to start by having the belief that there is someone right for you. Yes, right for you!
It may seem as if you have been looking or waiting so long. But that person is right around the corner…don’t give up now. How do I know that? because I am optimistic even for myself!!
I get it, you may have gone on more dates than you dare count and could even write a book about it and this seems to be a futile hope at this point.
Yet I encourage you, not to give up hope. The reason the previous persons you dated, or were in a relationship with didn’t work out, is get this — they weren’t right for YOU!
We offer on occasions many well-meaning advice to our family, friends and colleagues on dating, but I have learnt that when you meet the person that’s right for you, it tends to be the relationship that last.
Over time, and talking with many persons who have been in long term relationships or married they have shared some signs that can help you identify the person that’s right for you.
First sign, they accept you as you are.
You don’t have to get the perfect hairstyle, the perfect body size ( you know that struggle at times), the perfect behavior.
No, right where you are, and as who you are, they admire and respect you. It gives you the feeling of belonging as you know that this person accepts you.. just as you are.
Another sign — you know they only have eyes for you.
I am a realistic though at the same time, because let’s be real, who wouldn’t turn to look at a beautiful woman or a handsome man?
The partner right for you, while they may look at others, their only desire is for you.
You know that they truly admire and adore you, when you walk in a room and their eyes light up at the first glimpse of you, and you are the source of their focus and attention through your time together.
Third sign, you feel at peace.
You don’t have sleepless nights recapping stories to determine if they coincide with what they had said before.
You know that gut wrenching feeling guys and girls we get when we know something is off, and try to convince ourselves it’s all in our mind…?
No, none of that is experienced here. Why? because who they say they are, is who they truly are, you feel totally at peace and no reason to doubt, question or verify anything they communicate to you. They are completely open and honest with you.
This brings us to the next sign, you can communicate openly and honestly — about everything.
Communication is the big one that often tears apart relationships on occasions.
In this case you understand their past, and like your own past, at times it may not be pretty, but no one hides.
Each shares where they have been, how they have learnt and come to the realization that the past though not wanting to repeat, has brought them the knowledge and the experience to be who they are now, and offer a better version of themselves to you.
There is no hiding, no unclear communication about things they would have done that they are not proud of …everyone shares and gives the option to let you know it’s okay to be hurt by the past, but convinces you that they have learnt and grown. There’s no subject area that is hidden or subtly avoided by change of conversation quickly…everything is in the open…
Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash
Fifth sign — You enjoy each other’s company.
It may seem an underestimated point, but so many people exist in relationships and not enjoy each others’ company.
Imagine if you couldn’t leave your house for a week or even more and only your partner and you to talk with, would you want to get away from them after a day or two? I am not talking about the minor annoyances, like level of neatness, or so. I am talking about having a friendship with this person, where you can share, discuss and even disagree with respect for each.
An enjoyment of company where even when you are silent with words, the occasional glimpse across the room at your partner warms your heart.
The sixth sign — you share a sense of humor.
You laugh and enjoy their jokes. Of course, they know a balance and there is a time to be serious and be empathetic, but when things appear too serious, they know just the right time to introduce some humor that will not make it appear uncaring and indifferent, but offer a sense of security that though the situation may not be okay now, it will be soon.
You enjoy how you can help each other to feel more happiness through your humor, and enjoy hearing that deep wrenching rupture of laughter that the humor evokes.
Finally, they bring out the best in you.
All in all, they push you to be better, you want to be better, not because they ask for it, but because they lovingly support and challenge you to step outside your comfort zone and reach for that long-hearted dream.
It may be a simple thing as signing you up for the course that will awaken the dream you have of being an artist, writer whatever it is.
They stay up with you and encourage you as you engage in the grit work of making progress towards fulfilling that dream and stand by your side to cheer you on, each step of the way.
We all need love, no matter who we are …so stop denying it or thinking it is over for you, it’s just a matter of finding that person who is RIGHT FOR YOU.
No, you don’t need to go looking, truly when it’s the time, you will both find each other in the least expected way and circumstances.
Until that time ..keep hope alive…because believing it will come and knowing it will come is what keeps hope going.. not just for you, but for me and all the rest of us…
Until then… keep believing, keep your heart open, as there is the right person for YOU.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info?
Photo credit: Nick Fewings on Unsplash