Womanimals! What joy they bring us, even if we Manimals dont always understand them. They’re similar to us in many ways; but there are some important distinctions which you need to learn about if you’re going to happily coexist with one. Here are ten tips for making a Womanimal happy (verified to me as reasonably accurate by several womanimal friends):
1. Your Womanimal wants to trust and respect you. Give her plenty of reasons to feel this way! Don’t worry whether you’re rich, smart, ‘attractive’ etc. enough. The kind of Womanimal you’d want to stay with will love you for who you are – and for how you make her feel about herself. i.e. that she’s attractive, and capable – and you love, respect and want the best for her!
2. A Womanimal likes to be stroked… often gently, sometimes not. It can be hard to tell. To find out which, aske her, and change quickly if it seems like you made the wrong call.
3. If your Womanimal likes to feed you or look after you in any other ways, be happy for her to do that, and give her plenty of appreciation in whatever way works best for both of you. Never expect it or take it for granted; and remember to do the washing up and other cleanup work.
4. When your Womanimal needs to talk, listen to her. Repeat back what she’s said to make you’ve heard right. Offering sympathy is OK; but ‘solutions’ need to come much later. Sometimes a Womanimal may be trying to tell you something different than what she’s actually saying. Try to figure out what she needs you to hear, and respond to that. And if you’re not sure… ask!
5. If your Womanimal is angry with you for (to you) no apparent reason, don’t get defensive; ask for more information. It may be just that she needs to let off steam. Never mind if it’s ‘fair’ or ‘right’, just take it in. THEN ask to discuss it, and offer your perspective. She’ll need to feel heard by you first to be able to listen to any contribution you have to make.
6. A Womanimal sometimes hears what she expects to hear from you, rather than what you’ve actually said. There’s no point arguing; tell her again, or even better show her, what you really mean – ideally what she needs to hear from you. e.g. that you adore and respect her.
7. Womanimals don’t like to be left on their own for too long – emotionally or physically. Leave if you need to, but confirm that you will miss her… and have a timetable for your return.This should assure you a warm welcome back. She’ll need her own space sometimes too – though probably not as often as you – so be sure to give it your blessing when she needs time away.
8. Womanimals are able to do, and think of, several things at a time. The truth is, she’s cleverer than you in some ways; it’s just the way God made us, for reasons only (s)he can understand. Accept it, and be glad she’s still willing to spend her time with you.
9. The answer to the question ‘Does my bum look big’ and similar questions should always be something like: ‘I don't know what you’d call ‘big’, but it looks lovely to me!’ And this may be an opportunity to show her in very practical ways just how lovely it looks to you.
10. A womanimal may criticise her former partner(s) to you. It’s best to either keep quiet, or show concern. Under no circumstances, especially if she’s had children with him, agree that her ex was indeed a total arse. That may cause her to suddenly remember how great he actually was.
Especially, possibly, in comparison to you!
Growing up in a Manimal dominated world will have often been a pain in the neck for most Womanimals, and she may sometimes feel fed up with you for no particular reason other than that you’re one of them. It’s understandable; don't take it personally and get defensive, just show that you’re committed to doing what you can to create an equal world. And always follow that up with actions that will help her to trust that you really are one of the Good Men.
Womanimals need reassurance that they are loved and wanted for who they are, not just for the extent to which they meet your needs or fantasies. (Although a bit of that can be good too…and vice versa, of course). To give her best, your Womanimal needs to feel safe to be all parts of herself with you. So remind her regularly that you love all of who she is, and you are always interested to
find out more!
I’ve also written a set of Manstructions to help a womanimal know how to be and do her best for you. Watch this space!
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info?
Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com