We’ve both seen it: A rich guy soiling his chances to find an intimate relationship, or really, any relationship, because he leads his conversations by directly flaunting his wealth.
While every other guy would kill to have his money, the rich guy directly hurts himself because of how he references his wealth, in his conversations.
But wait? What do you mean? How could a guy’s dating life suffer because of his money? Money means he can take women to nice places. It means he can go to the nicest lounges and bars. What’s the problem with having money?
The truth? Nothing! It’s never the money itself that’s damaging anybody’s intimate life. When used appropriately, money helps.
But here’s the thing: guys with money regularly make the mistake of implicitly placing their value upon their wealth.
The rich guy subconsciously sees himself as valuable because of his money. As opposed to valuing himself say, because of his traits that helped him create that wealth.
It’s never the money that’s a turn off. It’s forgetting that it’s the man himself the woman must be attracted to. She can’t get aroused or fall in real love with his money. And besides, who would want to be “loved” for a bank account.
Here’s the paradox: Making money requires personality traits that are desired by lots of women: Discipline. Diligence. Determination. Drive. I’m sure the women reading this would agree that those character traits are highly attractive in a boyfriend, partner, or husband.
But when a guy leads his conversations by talking about his money, his accomplishments, or his status, he’s shooting himself in the foot.
Any quality woman who hears this immediately runs for the hills. She quickly sees a guy who’s overcompensating by “showing off.” She sees a guy who doesn’t value himself.
For the rich guy who doesn’t know better, this pattern repeats and worsens with each repetition.
For example… The rich guy meets a girl he likes. He talks about his lavish lifestyle or his money. The women promptly leaves. She finds a fun guy to talk to. Now, the rich guy feels like crap. He just got rejected — again!
And because he doesn’t understand attraction and women, he incorrectly sees only one logical course of action.
What does he do the next time he meets a quality woman? He really beefs up the pitch! More talk of his money, his status, and his accomplishments. And even sooner. The vicious pattern repeats itself.
Of course, his money leads to some “relationships.” There’s the elephant in the room that includes prostitution, “sugar daddy” relationships, and the like.
But even if not a direct money exchange, sure, showboating will attract some women. Say he leads the conversation with his wealth, and a woman reciprocates.
They talk, hookup, maybe they sleep together. Okay, now what? Is she the right woman for him? Is she the woman he really wants? It’s doubtful. How could she be? She heard more about his external accomplishments than anything else.
For a rich guy in this situation, it’s easy to feel trapped. And yet, all is not lost. All he needs to do is step back and honestly assess how he’s approaching his dating life.
“Am I leading my interactions with who I am or what I’ve achieved?”
If it’s the latter, and he’s not happy with the dating life he’s created lately, he must reverse engineer his conversations.
Begin with some playful banter. Start by just having fun. Forget about the accomplishments. Leave the “resume” at home. He’d be wise to focus first on connecting on an emotional level when he meets women.
Because here’s the secret: women are attracted to a man based on how he makes her feel, far more than they are to how much he’s worth.
Sure, money can help create fun experiences. But even then, a pretty woman knows how to find a good time. In a partner, she wants a man for his intangibles. His traits.
In short: the rich guy must let go of his money and let her figure out he’s rich and successful later in the interaction.
This way, when she figures it out on her own, she’s already built an emotional connection. Now, she has an added reason to value him. Here, the money is the cherry on the top.
She can see the man as a fun, put together guy who also knows how to go out there and get what’s his in the world. And she does want this in a partner. Nobody ever said she didn’t.
She wants a man who knows how to conquer. A man who’s mastered the ability to provide and create. But she wants to be attracted, not bought.
Make no mistake: leading with your padded “resume” is almost just as bad as telling a woman you live with your mom on a first date.
So instead of telling her how you’re worth a million bucks, lead her through an experience where she feels like a million bucks. For any guy, with or without money, this is how you catalyze your dating life.
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