When it comes to being friends with benefits with someone, there is always a lot of grey area. What are the right questions to ask? What should you expect from one another? Are you two exclusive or seeing other people? These are all questions you should be sure to ask yourself early on in this type of a partnership, that way you’re avoiding hurt feelings, disappointment or awkward situations.
Of course, every friends with benefits relationship is different and they don’t all work the same way. The way that some couples like to do things might not be the way that works the best for you. Thus, it’s a good idea to lay it all out there and have an open and honest discussion with your partner. It may be a little awkward at first but you’ll be glad you had the conversation and are both on the same page moving forward. While these may vary relationship to relationship, these are a few things you should and a few things you shouldn’t expect from a friend’s with benefits relationship.
You Should Expect: Communication and Respect
Perhaps the two most important aspects of well-functioning friends with benefits partnership are respect and communication. Despite the fact that this isn’t a traditional type of relationship, you deserve respect nonetheless. If you don’t feel comfortable in the situation then it is important to let your partner know or terminate the relationship before this feeling intensifies. Prior to ever even hooking up, you should set clear guidelines about what you’re looking for and what you expect from one another moving forward. As time passes, it is often a good idea to check in with one another just to make sure that you’re still on the same page. The way that most friends with benefits relationships go awry is when someone develops unreciprocated feelings for the other person.
If you begin to notice you’re developing real feelings for your partner, even though you guys originally said you were just hooking up, it is important to tell him. Maybe he feels the same way and you two can begin dating for real. On the other hand, if your feelings aren’t reciprocated you’re just going to end up finding yourself hurt and disappointed as time passes. In that case, it is best to call it quits with your partner.
You Shouldn’t Expect: Commitment
Most people that get into a friends with benefits type relationship aren’t looking for an exclusive relationship. They might keep their profile up on Tinder and other dating apps, and continue to seek out other potential romantic interests. You shouldn’t go into this type of a partnership expecting commitment from the other person, because this isn’t what you agreed to in the beginning. Beings friends with benefits with someone means that you get to enjoy the physical aspect of a relationship but without the dedication, a boyfriend or girlfriend might have to one another.
You Should Expect: Your Partner To Talk To Other People
Don’t go into a friends with benefits partnership and expect your partner not to talk to other people. There is a good chance that you are simply not the only person he’s talking to, hanging out with, or sleeping with right now. Keeping that in mind, you can’t get upset every time you see a photo of him on social media hanging out with another girl or at a party he didn’t invite you to. Similarly, you can’t get mad at him if you see text messages from other women lighting up his phone during your time together. This is simply the way things are in this type of partnership.
You Shouldn’t Expect: A Future Together
Most people in a traditional boyfriend and girlfriend relationship are always focused on where things are going. Those that are in a dedicated and committed relationship usually want to know that the relationship is moving forward and that you’re both focused on some type of future together. For some, you may be working towards moving in together or even getting engaged.
In the case of a friends with benefits type partnership, you’re not getting into it with hopes of marrying the other person or falling in love. You’re not looking for a romantic interest but rather someone who will help you have fun and alleviate stress, all without the drama and pressures that come with a traditional relationship. Make sure that this is truly what you want and what is going to satisfy you before ever pursuing this type of relationship.
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