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Let’s consider this scenario. You are a very smart dude with an average level of intelligence. You went to college, got good grades, and a great job. You understand the fact that a relationship needs two smart people to succeed. While in school you tried to make things right with your relationships, but it just didn’t work. You thought when you leave school things would turn better. You could get lucky with a relationship, find your soul mate and tie the knot. Many years after leaving college, things remain the same. You start wondering what went wrong. What could be done to salvage your relationship and emotional life? You got to realize that the problem emanated because you and your partner were not intellectually compatible. You both had the differences, not because you had a different personality trait from him or her, or you were very good with English, and you knew how to construct great sentences, how to check plagiarism and relate well with people. But the core differences resulted from the fact that either you or your partner lacked enough intelligence.
From various studies conducted on relationships globally, it’s now an obvious fact that intelligence is a major predator of success of a relationship as well as its quality and duration. The intelligence gap in relationships can be closed but not until you know how significantly it is or the role it plays in relationships and marriages today. When we talk about intelligence, we mean:
- Academic intelligence
You’re academically intelligent when you have a high IQ. You graduated from college with good grades and have a high GPA. However, this is independent of emotional and social intelligence, and there is no link between them. About maintaining a meaningful relationship, it plays a role even if your good grades cannot affect your partner’s personality trait, but it affects how you relate with people to an extent. Although you’ve left school, academic intelligence can be leaned both offline and online. However, this time, it is the aspect of communication. Learn how to communicate clearly with your partner. How to use the right words without implying a different meaning. Make good use of plagiarism checker and improve your English language. Such a plagiarism checker also will prevent you from typographical errors.
- Social intelligence
Are you comfortable talking to a stranger for the first time? Can you comfortably start and hold a conversation? If the answer is YES, then you possess an enormous level of social intelligence. It requires that you can make friends easily, talk to people without fidgeting, adapt quickly to any environment you find yourself and maintain meaningful relationships.
Social intelligence is needed for meaningful relationships today, and when you have it, you can easily approach and resolve lingering conflict with your partner even when she is not ready to “talk.” It means not giving the “silent treatment.” Conflicts are inevitable in a relationship, and you will have your differences to settle with your partner once in a while. Human intelligence will help you not to shy away from this and other problems that develop. Therefore, it plays a crucial role in the success of your relationship.
- Emotional intelligence
A successful relationship is one that involves two smart people. How smart are you with your emotions? Can you feel confident in any situation? Can your partner do the same? One thing is sure; healthy emotions lead to fulfilled relationships and happier life.
The irony of it all is that you can’t have these three at the same time. At least, at the same level. But emotional intelligence is the most useful of the three when it comes to living a balanced life and maintaining healthy relationships. Some experts have concluded that emotional intelligence outweighs social intelligence, while academic knowledge contributes to your level of smartness and as we all know, smart people succeed better at whatever they do. Let’s consider how a balanced combination of these three features can help you succeed in a relationship and become a better person.
- Better understanding
An intelligent person can work better on his emotions. You need to understand your partner and know what they can do at a given circumstance. A relationship devoid of understanding is filled with conflicts, lack of trust and backbiting. You and your partner need intelligence to understand each other better.
- Conflict resolution
How well can you empathize with your partner’s perspective? Do you always want things done your way? The best way to resolve conflicts is to avoid them before they start. Two intelligent people are better at understanding the feelings and needs of each other when they are focused on making things right. When you know what your partner needs, you can provide it easier than when you are clueless about it.
- Self-confidence
High level of intelligence increases self-confidence, which in turn translate to perseverance till expected results are achieved. Also, you are better at overcoming setbacks, networking with people, set goals, and make a plan towards achieving them. Our ability to understand what motivates our partner, how to relate in a positive manner and delay gratification till expected results are sighted, all contributes to a meaningful relationship.
Intelligence is not all that matters in a relationship, but it contributes to its success. Without a doubt, you should take these suggestions to heart if you want a better relationship that involves two intellectual people. These tips will help you in the short and long term and even outside your relationship. Make the most of them and live a happier and meaningful life.
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This content is sponsored by Jessica Vainer.
Photo: Shutterstock