In my December 2018 series on male stereotypes, I talked about the warrior archetype and how heroics are central to the self-image of most men. However, I only briefly alluded to the role of Princess Zelda as the damsel in distress. Although neither I nor any human has ever met her, she was central to my conception of romantic love as a young man.
For those who don’t know her, Princess Zelda is the titular character of the epic Legend of Zelda video game series. She exists primarily as a means of motivating the (male) hero, Link, to overcome his fears and overwhelming odds to save her from the forces of darkness. Sound familiar?
While much is wrong with this narrative—for starters it relegates women to near-total passivity and boosts even young boys, in the case of Link, to the weighty role of savior more or less against their will—there is one hidden gem of wisdom in it: women are powerful motivators for men. To take it a step further, many (straight) men find it difficult to find their purpose in the absence of women to impress, care for, share experiences with, and so on. This to me is so obvious it’s almost not worth stating, yet it is rarely framed in this (positive) way by feminists. One of the reasons why I committed to my most recent ex is because I did not think I could handle life’s difficulties without her as a motivating force. Moreover, in the absence of a partner, the only reason why I did not give into temptations toward violence and other destructive behaviors in the past is because I feared what my mother would think. I do not think I am the only man who treats a woman’s judgment as gospel but couldn’t give a damn about another man’s opinion of me.
As a straight man I do not understand the point of doing what Millennials call “adulting” if it is not either in the context of a relationship with a woman or self-improvement with the goal of someday entering into one. Otherwise, living entirely for the moment sounds like the better option. I hate paying bills, filling out tax returns, applying for jobs, going to work when I have a job, getting my car serviced, getting appliances fixed, making doctor’s appointments, shopping for groceries, doing laundry, and a number of other necessary evils in the context of a relationship. I could never do all of those things except as part of a (perhaps delusional) roleplay where I am the hero of at least one woman’s fantasy.
So I want to thank all the fictional damsels in distress for making me feel valued enough to get up in the morning and get to work.
***
What’s Next at The Good Men Project? Talk with others. Improve your relationships. Join our Love, Sex, Etc. Social Interest Group
RSVP for Love Sex Etc. Calls
Join the Sex, Love Etc. FACEBOOK GROUP here.
We think you’ll like our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss, gain insights, build communities— and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join now!
Join The Good Men Project Community
All levels get to view The Good Men Project site AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a great ad-free viewing experience.
Register New Account
Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. (Request new password if needed).
◊♦◊
ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:
1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.
2. See the website with no ads when logged in!
3. MEMBER commenting badge.
***
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
***
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time (Friday calls only). This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.
Need more information? Click here.
♦◊♦
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
What We Talk About When We Talk About Men
—
Shutterstock ID: 637868452