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If you’re not in a relationship you likely want to be in one, which can be painful.
But once we’re in a relationship, we find they’re not easy, simple, or the answer to many of our desires and fantasies.
In or out of relationship, people suffer a lot because of them.
I recently read a book about relationships that blew me away. It’s the manual I’ve been searching for — a simple, yet profound, book on how to navigate the struggles most couples face, in a more spacious and loving way.
Susan Piver, a Buddhist teacher and best selling author, who has been with her partner for 20 years, applied The 4 Noble Truths of Buddhist wisdom to romantic relationships and came up with The 4 Noble Truths of Love.
When there’s a conflict about money, time, affection, parenting, sex, etc., you can get caught in stories and theories or you can learn to engage with your partner with more mindfulness.
Relationships are unstable, Susan says. When we deny this (which I’ve seen many people, including myself, do) we experience more pain and struggle. Her wise-mind viewpoint offers a powerful framework for long-term relationships that, in my opinion, are more likely to last.
In this conversation we covered…
- How The 4 Noble Truths of Love (based on The 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism) can create more intimacy in your relationship
- How to see through the stories you have about your partner that keep you unsatisfied
- The difference between a love affair and a relationship — and what happens when we get the two confused
- The idea that there’s no wrong relationship, but there is more pain and struggle when partners have different desires and expectations
- Meditation and mindfulness as a path to decrease lashing out, blaming or isolating from your partner
I highly recommend listening to this conversation whether you’re single or in a relationship because this podcast sets up foundations you’ll want to integrate as soon as possible.
Even men at the top of their game find themselves wanting more from life. Man Alive is the resource for men who want more meaning, a bigger impact, unshakable confidence, a hotter sex life, more money, deeper love, solid friendships or a powerful legacy.
A version of this post was originally posted on ShanaJamesCoaching.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo provided by author.