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Since I was young I’ve been confused by how little education we get about something so important to us as human beings — Relationships!
To many of us, life doesn’t feel complete without partnership or romantic relationship. And yet they are SO challenging.
I remember watching my parents fight and get worked up about things like taking out the garbage.
As they had these conflicts it was so clear to me they were talking about the surface level of what was really going on.
I never heard them talk about the deep hurts and disappointments that I think they were experiencing, and seem inevitable in romantic relationships.
Maybe they did it behind closed doors. Maybe it never happened.
I wish I had someone sit down with me at a young age and say things like:
- When your feelings are hurt it’s time to turn inward and reflect, rather than lash out or run away. You can lovingly let your partner know you need to do this.
- You can face conflict together and build, rather than erode, trust
- Love is complicated. Connected communication is essential. Here are the foundations…
- Relationship is about growth. Here’s how to grow and support your partner to grow at the same time…
Even as a relationship coach, I find it challenging to navigate our simultaneous human needs for connection and freedom.
Thank God a colleague of mine, Jayson Gaddis, created The Relationship School.
Jayson draws on his decades of work as a therapist, facilitator and crisis worker. The school gives people the education we never received on how relationships actually work. In this week’s Man Alive podcast Jayson and I dive into how to navigate conflict effectively, as well as other relationship fundamentals, including:
- The mindset that turns conflict into growth and intimacy
- The practices of self-regulation and co-regulation for easing conflict
- How to best support your partner when s/he is triggered (and receive the same support)
- The science that proves you are not crazy, bad or wrong when conflict arises
- Our imperfection and struggles: Jayson’s recent conflict with his wife and Shana’s habit of avoiding conflict
Even men at the top of their game find themselves wanting more from life. Man Alive is the resource for men who want more meaning, a bigger impact, unshakable confidence, a hotter sex life, more money, deeper love, solid friendships or a powerful legacy.
A version of this post was originally posted on ShanaJamesCoaching.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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