As a boy, I was always told girls are made of sugar & spice and everything nice. The narrative continued as I got older: …and manicured nails, pearl earrings, meticulous makeup, and an ironed dress. Polite and on their best behavior. It all had to do with some notion of flawless yet restrained beauty.
I never bought into it. I’ve always been more drawn to a woman who’s picked up a few scars along the way.
Maybe it was because I grew up as an athlete, running around in the hills of Maine, where the women around me had little time or patience for makeup during their 6 mile run, but in time I slowly became more interested in women who were salty and sweat-stained. Ragged and glowing. Worn-out and grinning. A little rough around the edges.
Multiply that over a lifetime, and you get someone who’s lived out loud. Rolled the dice and lost a few times. Crashed and burned. Lived to tell the tale.
Scars tell a story to me.
Broken a few bones? You’re an adventurer.
Had your share of stitches? You’re not a fan of playing it safe.
Spent more than few months of your life on crutches? You’re willing to suffer the occasional setback in the name of chasing a thrill.
Have a resumé of surgical scars, scarred knees, or a crooked nose? Those are the souvenirs of someone who’s conquered adversity.
I have a deep respect for a woman’s metaphorical scars, too.
Whether it’s that you flipped ass-over-teakettle on your mountain bike, got dragged across the reef while surfing, or crashed and burned on your startup and lost a small fortune, I love that you’ve swung and missed and are still swinging. The ones who never swing at all will never lead a life I want to be a part of.
Others see someone covered in dirt. I see a phoenix who’s about to rise out of the ashes.
That means you’re a better companion. A more well-rounded person. A wiser soul, better able to handle the ups & downs of a relationship because you’ve hit a low point plenty of times before and bounced back fine. In the low moments of my life, I could use a little more of that at my side.
Been fired from a job? Maybe you’re not afraid to speak your mind.
Got divorced along the way? You’ve loved and lost–and dared to admit when it wasn’t going to work.
Walked away from a career and chose to start over at half the pay? Sounds like you value other things beyond just money.
It all makes me much more interested in hearing your story because you’ve got tales to tell. You’ve had adventures.
As a guy, I’ve got a few scars of my own. Most of them aren’t on the surface. If I’m going to have someone at my side, I want to know she can relate. She can laugh them off, too, because someone who’s shuffled off her own setbacks might be better able to help me get back on the horse, too, and dare to ride again.
That kind of strength is as sexy as anything else out there.
It says to me you care about how you feel on the inside, not just how you look on the outside.
Alive. Renewed. Inspired. Bold.
That’s what’s truly attractive. No amount of mascara, rouge, or silk dress will ever compare with the radiant glow of a woman who’s an adventurer at heart.
At least to me.
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