After a year spent diligently barring my teenage daughter from engaging in the OnlyFans frenzy, a private investigator revealed that my worries have been vastly misplaced. My daughter wasn’t the one to watch; instead, it was my husband, the site’s biggest secret patron, with a 5-figure monthly allowance feeding his addiction.
Occasional infidelity is one thing. Secretly employing a full-time virtual harem to meet his sexual needs to the tune of 6-figures a year? That’s grounds for retribution in my book — and yes, I think 6-figure revenge sounds just about right.
The Get Rich Quick Scheme of the Century
My husband has always touted building a business as the one surefire way to get rich — and judging by his net worth, maybe he’s right. However, my behind-the-scenes access into one of the wealthiest enclaves of the US — and the spoiled rich kids to come out of it — paints a very different picture of the future.
My daughter’s school is proud to boast teens with famous last names and the trust funds to match. Most of these kids don’t need to work a day in their life, and most never have. Well, I should say most never had.
This year, everything changed with the surging popularity of two new apps:
Believe it or not, these teen TikTokers and barely legal OnlyFans creators are pulling in more money than many of their already affluent parents.
My kids say I’m the “bad guy” for keeping them off the apps and hindering their “entrepreneurial” pursuits… Hubby, on the other hand, got a free pass to fly under the radar — and that he did.
Here’s What a 5-Figure Private Investigator Gets You
Wire taps. Bugged rooms. GPS trackers. Email hackers. “John” did it all. He pulled out every stop you’d see in an episode of “How to catch a predator” and then some — and it worked.
I felt like a spy myself, sleeping in the same bed as the criminal under my very own pricey surveillance, eagerly awaiting the misstep that would topple his house of cards. My private investigator delivered, and so did dear hubby — in more ways than one.
If you think you maybe kind of sort of might take comfort in having a private investigator bug your husband’s office…and car, cell phone, and email, just for good measure…then Houston, you already have a very major problem.
I’ve toyed with the idea of employing a PI for at least five years now — maybe closer to ten. I didn’t have a shred of physical evidence of his cheating back then, but something always felt “off”. An invisible wall stood permanently between us, and no matter how sincere he claimed to be, I suspected he buried secrets somewhere off the grid, just barely out of reach.
Despite my concerns, I wasn’t ready for the truth. Denial plays a funny game with your head, and I simply dismissed the lingering worries as my own baseless insecurities. Well, until the cheating scandal that rocked my world put his indiscretions front-and-center, inches away from my face. Once you know, you know — and having confronted my greatest fear, I couldn’t stop now; I wanted all the dirty details.
“Entertainment” Is Not an Acceptable Line Item
I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know much about business or finances — but I’m well aware that dear hubby does. He’s constantly forwarding receipts to his assistant, who dedicates entire days to combing through his bills and categorizing business expenses.
Now, I’m no accountant, but perhaps someone with a better grasp on financials could riddle me this: How can $460,000 disappear from a company bank account under the guise of “Entertainment” with no further explanation? Doesn’t that raise a single red flag? Or should I raise the flag myself? Perhaps the IRS would be curious to learn more…
With about eight months of my husband’s nearly $60,000 recurring payments to his shrine to Hugh Heffner — his virtual playmates on OnlyFans — he’s written off nearly half a million dollars as business entertainment. This begs the question: Am I the last to know, or is his entire company covering up his rampant infidelity and R-rated entertainment budget?
There Are Never Just 50 Girlfriends
“John” isn’t just any private investigator — he’s an infidelity specialist. During the Ashley Madison leak, John’s business was booming, and he received millions in bribes from unfaithful husbands, requesting his cooperation to cover their tracks. No such luck — John didn’t need the cheaters’ money; he was getting plenty from their scorned wives and girlfriends. He’s blown the lid off high-profile relationship scandals that became tabloid gold — from reality stars to professional athletes, businessmen, and more.
If you’re dealing with a cheater, John is your guy. Unfortunately, regardless of his investigative prowess, John was up-front and honest about his shortcomings. Here’s what he guaranteed:
- If he found 50 girlfriends, there was probably a 51st out there somewhere
- If he found $100k in gifts to the mistress, there was probably another $100k buried elsewhere
- If he found a secret second car in hubby’s name, there was probably another hidden house or apartment
In other words, no matter how much money I paid John, how many hours he spent tailing my husband, or how many phone calls he tapped or offices he bugged, he would never track down every marital indiscretion hubby committed. Not even close.
The problem with hubby isn’t the fact that he’s romantically unfulfilled or sexually under-stimulated. Those are small issues with easy fixes. Our scenario is quite different for one simple reason: My husband isn’t seeking love or sex or companionship; he’s seeking an adventure, a challenge, and a conquest.
He isn’t chasing something that I lack to offer; instead, the very chase is what he’s seeking — and for that reason, he’ll never be satiated or fulfilled.
The #1 Relationship Red Flag Has Nothing to Do With Cheating
We’ve all watched movies or read books about the hot, brooding, hard-to-get enigma of a man that’s artfully shrouded in just enough mystery to pique our curiosity and gain our interest. These are the guys we can’t quite figure out — and thus, they’re the ones to whom we’re drawn. Unfortunately, these mystery men may be hiding more than we realize — and once blind attraction sets in, we may walk right into their trap.
16 years ago, my husband had “mystery” written all over him. Before I even knew his last name or profession, he’d gifted me a free Bentley. If that doesn’t spell mystery, I’m not sure what does.
While mystery drew me in, I assumed that throughout the course of a relationship, those walls would come down and the secrecy would disappear. I’m just now coming to find that he’s as mysterious now as he was back then — I simply missed the memo.
Tips to avoid becoming playmate #51
- Mystery is cute for a first date, not an entire relationship. If he’s got walls up beyond the first few months, you may never break through them.
- If you’re paranoid about his cheating, it may be because you’re right. Don’t spend another day overlooking the signs or denying your gut intuition — delaying the inevitable is only going to make the reveal that much worse.
- Money isn’t everything, but it can leave some breadcrumbs. If he’s secretive with his finances, he may have a much more sinister reason than a sports betting addiction. Request financial transparency and joint accounts from the day you get married — or prepare to pay a PI to sift through hundreds of bank statements unveiling his indiscretions.
Discovering my husband’s unfaithfulness was a blow to my ego, but discovering the extent of it provided a greater relief. I didn’t fail in this relationship; he simply proved that for him, monogamy isn’t an option. If he’s seeking a chase, perhaps that’s just what I’ll give him…
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Owned and created the author( Confessions of a Trophy Wife)