Being with someone who has an addiction is one of the hardest things I had ever experienced. Between the guilt, self-blame and believing I would save him negatively impacted my physical and mental health. It’s chaotic and unstable. I felt a lot of guilt because I thought he was going to overdose and die and if I had stayed with him, he wouldn’t overdose. FALSE. You cannot save their life. You cannot wave a magic wand and make their addiction disappear.
Their addiction is not your fault or my fault. It is okay to leave someone who has an addiction because you get one life and one life only. You need to live it to the fullest and if that means leaving an unhealthy unhappy relationship, please know it is okay.
You may be going back and forth in your head about whether or not you should end the relationship. I’m sure you feel some guilt. All of the emotions you’re feeling are totally normal. The confusing emotions and feelings you’re experiencing are temporary.
You didn’t cause the addiction and it’s not your job to try and save someone from addiction. Your partner may make you feel bad or guilty but the reality of the situation is you’re not the number one priority in their life. Whatever they are addicted to will always come first and that’s no fault of yours.
You can’t control how people act or what they say, but you can control how you react. They will try to make you feel guilty and often manipulate you into staying in the relationship. They may beg you not to leave. They may even threaten to take their own life. At the end of the day, you are not responsible for his actions.
Please don’t beat yourself up with guilt or blame because you left. You deserve so much more in life then taking care of someone who’s number one priority is feeding the addiction. I promise you that the guilt and blame is temporary and will pass. You will know what it’s like to smile again. You’ll remember what it’s like to laugh so hard you’ll think you’re getting a 6 pack from just laughing.
Leaving someone with an addiction can be one of the hardest choices you’ll ever have to make.
You weren’t put on this earth to take care of everyone who is suffering. You weren’t born with the sole purpose of taking care of someone with an addiction.
You deserve the right to define what purpose you serve in your life. You get to decide what living a meaningful life is or is not. This is the life you were given and you have every right to be selfish about how you live it.
Unfortunately, things happen that are out of anyone’s control and that is just the way life is. If you leave the relationship and something happens to your partner such as suicide, overdose or health complications, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. You have to get it out of your head that you can save them from their addiction.
Your life is too short to waste. In the blink of an eye, your life can be changed permanently. Live in the moment. Be selfish for the life that you want. Define who you are and what you want out of life and stop at nothing until you achieved all the goals you set for yourself. Live your life FOR YOU.
Originally published on Pucker Mob.
Photo: Getty Images