The conclusion of Dr. Jordan Paul’s series of sexual myths
Sex beyond beliefs happen when we transcend the false beliefs and fears that bind us. They are the ecstatic experiences that are completely satisfying and memorable. We go out of our heads and into our hearts.
Rather than a race between two competitors running in their own lanes and focused on a finish line, we are sexual dancers on an improvisational journey with no pre-conceived notions of what the experience, such as a simultaneous orgasm, or even orgasm itself, should be. There is only the moment and whatever happens is a result of clear verbal and non-verbal communication.
Being totally present in the oneness of the moment determines the next moment. Responses to what each person experiences weaves a unique route. No matter how many times the dance is done, the path is never the same. We are not sexual performers, we are creators of a love dance.
Heartfelt sexual experiences have many different and often unexpected flavors and forms that never got old even we do. The finish line is not predetermined. One person might reach the finish line ahead of the other. They might reach it simultaneously. Or, one or both may have decided on a different finish line.
What would having more meaningful sexual dances mean to you and how can you facilitate them?
(Note: If you are new to this series, the segments of the series is above)
Learning about my sexuality meant challenging a great deal of what conventional thinking had taught me. Although my experiences are from a heterosexual perspective, I know from nearly fifty years of teaching about relationships and practicing psychotherapy with people across the sexual identity spectrum that we all share both many limiting beliefs and the desire for meaningful intimate relationships.
Nothing limits our ability to love and be loved, and to find joy and fulfillment more than the beliefs that disconnect us from our hearts. And, nowhere do these beliefs cause more limitations than in our sex lives.