Dr. Vibe’s latest podcast explores marriage from the perspective of black men.
On this episode of Dr. Vibe’s Allies the discussion topic is: “What do today’s Black Men REALLY think of Marriage?” The show’s participants are: Victory Unlimited, Henri Morris, TheStyleGent and Ainz Neal.
The panel deals with the following questions:
– What is the definition of marriage today?
– How has the definition of marriage changed over the years?
– Do you feel men feel societal pressure to get married today?
– How do the panelist determine a worthwhile mate?
– What role does economics play in a man getting married?
– Do men really have a fear of commitment?
– What are their views about sex in a marriage?
– If a woman is barren do men consider her marriage material?
– Do women have unrealistic expectation about marriage today?
– What is a man’s role in today marriage?
– What are the benefits and challenges of being married?
– If you had one thing to say to someone about marriage, what would it be?
Listen to the podcast here:
–Photo: itommy/Flickr
Life Good Mens Good Vibes
[…] ed the black community and marriage. She said she had I believe it was 7 highly […]
Thanks Iben. I like the observations you’ve made. I think it’s interesting that you pointed out “acknowledgement” as one of your former husband’s needs. Whenever I think of receiving acknowledgement, the word “respect” also quickly comes to mind. I imagine that wanting to be acknowledged and feel respected are probably things that most men and women value pretty highly. Many of the articles and shows that I do with Dr. Vibe’s Allies and over on my own site are aimed at accomplishing two things: 1. To address real issues that men face by tackling the topics with a healthy amount… Read more »
Hi Victory You observation is interesting and tells a lot: ✺ “From interviewing many married couples who claim to STILL be “happily married”, most of them could recall many times where they’ve put the needs of the other person before their own—and vice versa. To the contrary, some of the married couples I’ve encountered who are NOT happily married right now don’t usually make these comments.”✺ It reminds me of a observation done by a psychologist. She noticed that when she asked persons with severe emotions problems about their mother and their childhood , they often answers:” she did as… Read more »
Hi Iben, When I speak of “Independence”, in this case I speak of it from the aspect of people being “self-focused”, and “self-contained” to a fault. I’m referencing those people who don’t see themselves as much a part of a partnership as they probably should in a marriage relationship. From interviewing many married couples who claim to STILL be “happily married”, most of them could recall many times where they’ve put the needs of the other person before their own—and vice versa. To the contrary, some of the married couples I’ve encountered who are NOT happily married right now don’t… Read more »
Hi Victory You write: ” ✺Can a really good, healthy, marriage EVER be achieved between two people who doggedly make it their mission to be as independent from the other person as possible?”✺ I am divorced. Most of my friends are married. A few are divorced or cohabitate. But I have never in my whole life met anyone that had as a goal to become as independent of their spouse as possible. What ever gives you this idea? Do you say women take an education or learn a trade to become as independent as possible of the one they are… Read more »
I agree with you, Tom. Also, along with “narcissism”, I would add “proud ignorance” too. Isn’t it amazing how many people who haven’t experienced something are still proud enough to think that they still know EVERYTHING about it? No doubt—many of us would do well to actively seek out valuable information about marriage from a lot of the “veteran” married couples before we rush in and take the marriage vow ourselves. But unfortunately, what I see most of the time is an unsettling number of people out here putting more thought into their choice of car than they do in… Read more »
“Can a really good, healthy, marriage EVER be achieved between two people who doggedly make it their mission to be as independent from the other person as possible?”
My answer to this is no, they can’t. Too often couples come out of the gate with the belief that they have to protect themselves by being independent. I think people these days are too narcissistic to be able to give of themselves to the other person. They have a “what’s in it for me” kind of attitude.
It may behoove people to speak to couples who have long marriages.
We’ve been hearing what women think about marriage nonstop for decades upon decades. Women don’t usually marry themselves, so I think it’s quite alright and long overdue for men voice their strong, politically incorrect opinions on the subject. Marriage has changed quite a bit in the Western World over the last 50-60 years. The motivations for marrying and the motivations for NOT marrying are always very individual things. Both genders’ battle for independence has consequently struck some devastating blows to the concept of interdependence in many relationships. Here’s a question for the GMP visitors: Can a really good, healthy, marriage… Read more »
Jules, institute of marriage isn’t bad, you married the wrong person ..love requires sacrifice, and if both sides aren’t willing to make the same sacrifices, then the wheels will come off in a hurry.
People marry for the wrong reasons, too- if you try to build a marriageon a weak foundation, then it will collapse at the first stressful situation.
As a well educated, successful, and previously divorced Black man, I think very little of marriage, period.
Why? It’s the women. Too many of them practice serial monogamy. After a few years they become “unhappy.” That is just code for them having grown bored and tired with their husband and in need of new scenery (read new man).
Always be a lover and never a husband I say.
I’m more interested in how black women think of marriage. College is becoming increasingly unattainable for black men. The prison industrial complex affects black men disproportionately. Some women have already started complaining about the lack of datable / marriageable men in some college towns due to men not entering college at the same rate as women. When I brought this up in class. My black, female professor said that men not going to college has already impacted the black community and marriage. She said she had I believe it was 7 highly educated, professional, female friends who have already given… Read more »