Boys tend to ‘play house,’ with very little regard for understanding the maturity levels or the fundamental aspects of personal responsibility that a healthily structured relationship demands. A man, however, tends to consciously comprehend and fully compartmentalize key components that create feelings of stability, solidity, and security in order to materialize a safety net of sorts that moves away from idealized fantasy and into actually building a ‘home’ in the truest sense of the word.
And while the definition of ‘home’ is more commonly referred to as a physical space, it certainly doesn’t have to be. In fact, I define ‘home’ as more of a source for emotional refuge and support, despite any physical distance between you, your partner, or your loved ones, and regardless of where in the world you may travel together.
Because the truth is that while boys are merely out there seeking to just ‘hook up,’ there are grown men who are resolutely entering into relationships with the definite purpose, ready to adhere to the value of commitment and honorably contribute meaning to divine partnerships. Which ideally might present themselves in various forms and methodologies, and not solely bound to the belief system of marriage. That is only but one example of committal agreement amongst a vast multitude of others.
And while boys have become masterfully creative with their seemingly unlimited supply of fantastical storylines and limitless excuses pertaining to how and when they will finally step up in love, they ultimately fail as they consistently create more disappointment, resentment, and heartache by never following through and living up to their true potential.
On the other hand, a man needs to say very little. His actions alone speak volumes. Whenever he chooses to speak, his words add meaning and value. Premeditated, well thought out and focused, his eyes look towards longevity and success. He wishes to provide healing strategies designed to withstand and resolve all conflicts in his relationship, no matter how big or small they might be.
A boy neglects his personal responsibility in search of a mother-like figure to play the role of caretaker and manage all his needs, while a man makes the choice to dedicate himself to an ongoing practice of self-love and care, knowing that by compassionately taking care of himself and putting his deeper needs first, he then can go on to create a healthy, loving, and meaningful relationship with another based on true desire and passion, rather than neediness in the form of unhealthy attachment.
Boys constantly seek out popularity, earning merits through games in sexual prowess, whereas a man realizes respect is something that’s earned not through manipulation or mind games, but through the sheer will to show up fully present in love, and then reciprocate this same respect back doubly in return.
A boy will quit, run away, duck, and hide at the first sign of conflict when the going gets tough and times are hard. But a man will love you through everything, especially when the days are long and the nights are cold. Even times when it seems too painful to continue on, and you’ve forgotten how to love yourself, he will still be there right beside you through it all.
Boys are only on the lookout for the next pretty face. While men only have fixed sight on the women who are fully ready to embrace these types of men and capable in their ability to hold space for their hearts with the same honor, respect, and dignity that this type of man is so lovingly available to give to you.
The role of men is changing in the 21st century. Want to keep up?
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