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Is it really that hard to love and connect with a woman? Does it take learning another language or treating her as if she’s from another planet before you can deeply connect with her, or even communicate? Are women really from Venus? Are men really from Mars?
At the end of the day, my suggestion is no. What she wants most, is to be seen, heard, respected and loved. And to be honest, isn’t that what we all want? Everything else is icing on the cake.
“The common belief that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is really wrong, we are all from planet Earth”, said Harry Reis, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester and co-author of a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
So for us earthlings, here are a few tips that you might want to consider when trying to love and connect with your woman.
Treasure her but don’t worship her
She is your woman, not your god. Whilst men have worshipped the image of the goddess for centuries, she, like you, is an earthling.
Polar opposites attract.
However, when it comes to the red-blooded person you exchanged vows with, or committed yourself to, or are trying to have a meaningful relationship with, perhaps putting her on a pedestal of worship, is not the best way, nor what she actually wants.
Women are not aliens. Men are not space invaders.
When you see her as your equal, not above you, nor below you, you start to understand that her human need for love and affection is not so different to yours.
Value her femininity, her expression, her sexuality, her way of being, just as you value your own. But to worship her is to weaken your own energy. Rise up with her, alongside. She wants to feel your strength, not your worship.
Be devoted to her, but don’t idolize her
Believe me, she doesn’t want to be the ONLY thing in your life. She wants to be important to you. She wants to be desired by you. She wants to be valued. She wants you to be her man. But your devotion to her does not need to turn into idolizing her.
The pressure of being idolized means that the spotlight is always on the person being idolized. So if you are tending toward idolizing her, and wondering why she is pulling back, try taking the spotlight off her, and with that, the pressure. Release her to be a woman, a human, a person.
When you make your woman the only thing in your life, idolizing her every move, you do both you and her a disservice. Being devoted to someone does not mean being Mr super nice guy. This is a massive turn off for any woman.
You don’t need her validation, nor does she want to give it to you.
Being devoted simply means having her back, supporting her through hard times, showing up for her as a man of calm and confidence, and not being blown about by her emotions or your own.
Stand by her side but don’t abandon yourself
If running after your woman means that you abandon yourself, you will betray both her and yourself. It’s important to have your own passions and interests in life.
Have you given up some or all of these things, to please her? If so, it’s time to recall what your passions and interests were or are, and start allocating some time and energy for them again.
A man without any other interests outside of his relationship is a man who has lost his way.
It’s important for your own wellbeing, that you spend time apart, doing ‘your own thing’. That way, when you do come together, you also have something to bring, something to get excited about and share. This is part of creating intimacy and connection.
Fuel your deepest desire, that is not her
Similarly, when you are fueling, pursuing and participating in your deepest desires, apart from her, you are fueling your own being. Only then can you come together and give fully of yourself to her. During this time you are also creating space for her to fuel her own passions.
It’s not that she completes you or that you complete her. When two people come together, fully alive, it’s then that you bring your best, are your best, and attract the best in your partner.
What is it that gets you up and out of bed each day? If you were not with your partner, what is it that you would be doing anyway, purely because you love it?
Love her with masculine energy
You are her gift, as she is yours. Make space for this gifting to breath, to be possible. This is the art of living a life that you can invite her into. This is the art of deep attraction and deep connection. If you want to go deep with her, first go deep with yourself.
When you are fully yourself, fully alive, fully participating in this game we call life, you will naturally become the most attractive version of yourself possible. Don’t treat her like an alien. She’s not from Venus. You’re not from Mars. Don’t look to her to gain your own value or self-worth. You already have it.
Become your own man. There is nothing more incredible when two beings come together in this way. Treat her like you want to be treated. It’s a little tip from ancient wisdom.
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