I get so many questions from people asking me about the do’s and don’ts of a first date. While I am generally not a believer in hard and fast rules of dating “etiquette,” there ARE some things you should NEVER say or do on a first date . . . or on a second or third date for that matter either.
Below is a list of things you should never do and a list of things you should never talk about on a first date. Notably, every single one of these are things that were actually emailed to me by people who told me that these happened to them on a first date. Some of these are so good, in fact, I wish I could have made them up.
These are things you should NEVER talk about or say on a first date:
1. “I only wash my sheets every three weeks.”
2. “I’m looking for a woman who is just like my mother.”
3. “I am so broke that I had to borrow money to take you out tonight.”
4. Anything about your bowel movements
5. That you suffer from any form of Irritable Bowel Syndrome
6. The real reasons why your ex cheated on you and how you sucked sexually after two months.
7. How you tell your friends EVERYTHING.
8. Your credit card debt . . . and how you wish you could find someone to help you pay it off.
9. Your seven illegitimate children – wait, oops, you’re not Travis Henry!
10. Your addiction to children’s cough syrup
11. Your daily nighttime masturbation session in front of your computer watching youporn.com
12. How you love the smell of your dog’s paws.
13. Your gambling habit.
14. Your addiction to Internet dating . . . and how you’re always looking for the “bigger better deal.”
15. How everyone in the world has done you wrong
16. The trip you took to Asia . . . and how much you enjoyed the prostitutes there
17. Every ailment you’ve ever had
18. Any negative comment about the person across from whom you are sitting in the restaurant
19. Complaints about anyone you used to date.
These are things you should NEVER do on a first date:
1. Belch at the dinner table
2. Blow your nose into your napkin at the restaurant
3. Let a fart escape too close to the table as you get up . . . and then blame it on the waiter
4. Chew your food with your mouth open, and spit it into your napkin if you don’t like what you’re eating.
5. Get caught by your date masturbating in the restaurant bathroom
6. Hit on the waiter/waitress who is waiting on your table at the restaurant
7. Get up and leave the other person with the check
8. Talk on your cell phone during the date with another woman you’re dating
9. Text your friends a blow-by-blow description of how the date is going.
10. Order the most expensive thing on the menu – remember that this is a first date, not a last meal.
11. Eat six cloves of garlic then go in for a kiss
12. Walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe.
These are just a handful of things you should neither do or talk about on a first date. I probably have a thousand more of these sitting in my inbox . . . I just picked out some of the really good ones.
What are some of your favorite (or most memorable) things you’ve had a first date do or say that made you wonder “Does this person go home to the zoo?!” Share your stories with all of us!
Today’s video is all about how to hook up and Bed Bath and Beyond. And finally, you will learn what Beyond really means.