As a groom, your wedding day is one of the biggest moments of your life. After all, you’re landing the woman of your dreams and settling down to a new list of responsibilities. While this emotional day has historically been centered on the bride, modern grooms are becoming more involved in the process than ever before.
While wedding planning for guys is trending, grooms should be careful with their input and should have a clear understanding of what decisions are off limits and left up to the bride. Here is the ultimate wedding guide for groom with a few tips for surviving the process and pulling off your wedding day:
#1 — Clearly Define Expectations & Roles:
As a groom, you’ll want to communicate about the expectations for the planning process with your bride. Ask her where she needs help and in what ways you can contribute. In this phase, a grooms job in wedding planning festivities should be clearly defined. As the groom, this phase is also your chance to communicate the pieces of the wedding where you would like input. If you don’t voice your concerns or ideas, they may get overlooked and you may wind up feeling left out of your own wedding.
Additionally, the two of you should come up with a list of questions to ask wedding planner. A wedding planner can relieve a lot of stress as they manage a lot of the logistics. This early Q&A process quickly establishes roles so there is no confusion along the way. Here are a few of the more common ways wedding planning tasks are divided:
Joint Decisions:
- Wedding Date
- Location and Venue
- Budget and Spending
- Guest List
- Music Selection
- Gift Registry
- Food and Beverage Selections
- Photography
- Honeymoon Destination
- Pre Marriage Counseling (if needed)
- Vows
- Other Ceremony Details
- Hotel Block for Guests
Bride Decisions:
- Bridal Gown and Jewelry Selection
- Bridesmaid Entourage and Apparel
- Color Scheme
- Aisle Music
- Flowers and All Other Decor Details
- Invitations & Thank You Cards
- Bridesmaid Gifts
- Wedding Website Creation
Groom Decisions:
- Groom Suit & Apparel
- Grooms Entourage and Apparel
- Obtaining the Marriage License
- Ordering the Wedding Bands
- Organizing the Rehearsal Dinner
- Transportation for the Wedding Party
- Hiring the Officiant
- Groomsman Gifts
- Selecting Ushers
#2 — Help Reduce Stress
More than likely your bride to be will experience stress with this whole process. Your job as a groom is to combat this stress as much as possible. Even if her behavior seems irrational, you need to serve as a support system, offer to help, or schedule a fun break from the planning. You can offer your support simply by showing enthusiasm for the process. Either way, she’ll be leaning on you for encouragement, so act excited and be willing to help.
#3 — Be Punctual & Sober
As a groom, you’re the star of the day. It’s poor taste to show up late to your own show, so punctuality is key. In addition, it is customary to have a celebratory, nerve-calming drink, but you should keep drinking to a minimum. Resist all peer pressure and keep a composed, sober demeanor the day of the wedding.
#4 — Deliver a Gift to Your Bride
Your bride is most likely just as nervous as you are about walking down that aisle. The symbolism and emotion of the day can be overwhelming. No doubt, your bride would appreciate a gift or note of encouragement. Even if you aren’t naturally romantic, try to show this side so your bride knows how much this day means to you. She’ll appreciate your sensitivity and she’ll feel comforted and ready to roll!
#5 — Include Your Future Father-in-Law
More than likely, this day is an emotional moment for the father of the bride. As a groom, you should be sensitive to this and include him in the conversation and behind the scenes activity. Ask your groomsmen to keep the jokes and guy-talk to a minimum and respect the fact that your father in law may be experiencing mixed emotions.
#6 — Create Candid Moments
The moments before the ceremony are likely your last as a single man. Embrace this moment by having candid conversations with your groomsmen and family. Thank them for being part of your special day and remind them of your love and loyalty. This is a great time for the photographer to capture these emotional moments so you can cherish them for years to come. It’s also a great time to distribute your groomsman gifts.
#7 –Plan Your Toast
It is customary for the groom to prepare a thank-you toast for all of the wedding guests. This usually happens at the reception and after the ceremony. You should put some thought and effort into your speech and make it memorable. Your speech should be short and sweet, yet heartfelt. Your guests will appreciate the effort and it will set the tone for the rest of the evening’s festivities.
Overall, groom wedding planning can be a fun and adventurous challenge. The main thing you can take away from this experience is that pulling your weight and offering a wealth of love and support will help you not just with wedding planning, but with creating a lasting and beautiful marriage. Now you can enjoy the ride and married life!
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Photo: Getty Images