Love can be such a complicated yet amazing thing. It’s the glue that keeps our lives together, the source of every happy memory we’ve made and every sad one that’s passed.
Sometimes, though, it can also bring pain. The kind of pain that’s so intense it makes you wonder if it will ever end.
I’ve experienced this several times in my life, but one specific time comes to mind.
It all began a few years ago when I was in my second year of college. I grew up in a pretty small town where education opportunities weren’t all that plentiful, so, like many other teenagers, I decided to leave.
I planned to attend college on the mainland, where I could get a better job and make much more money than my hometown offered me.
At university, I met a girl who quickly became my best friend. She was a very sweet, passionate soul who had a great sense of humor. It was a little too much for me, but I didn’t care.
We locked ourselves in the library for hours on end to study together, and one thing led to another. The relationship started with mutual attraction, and we soon found ourselves completely and utterly in love with one another.
As time passed, we grew more and more intimate with each other.
We spent nearly every waking moment together. After a few months, she finally told me the words I’d been waiting so long to hear. She said she loved me. Nothing could’ve made me happier.
That was when the trouble started, though. While things between us were wonderful, they weren’t entirely perfect.
The problem was that she didn’t want to be with me in the way I wanted to be with her. I tried to convince her to give me a chance to change her mind, but she simply refused.
I tried everything I could think of, but it was clear something was holding her back.
Finally, after months of fighting, I gave up. She had become so forceful about never giving me a chance that I couldn’t reason with her anymore.
Once she had made up her mind in that way, everything happened quickly. One day she was just there and then, the next day, things were different.
She didn’t look at me the same way, she barely talked to me much, and everything she said made me feel like I was no longer part of her life.
It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t win. I couldn’t make her love me how I wanted to be loved.
That was when I learned something about myself that changed my entire life.
I realized then that there are some moments in your life that force you to grow up unexpectedly, and this was certainly one of them.
I never thought much about what I wanted out of a relationship before, but after being in one with someone who didn’t love me back, I knew there had to be something more.
There are more important things in life to focus on than just having fun and being entertained.
I can understand how someone can get so caught up in the moment that they don’t see the bigger picture.
I’ve done a lot of foolish things in my life, but by far the dumbest one was chasing after someone who didn’t want to be with me.
To have that kind of love destroyed is the most painful thing you could ever experience because it’s like your entire life has been nothing more than a fool’s game.
I would’ve never met her if I hadn’t been in a relationship with her, and now it’s too late.
I just wish she’d told me that she didn’t love me back. I would’ve known what to do and I wouldn’t have wasted all the time we spent together. It’s even worse because it was another girl who was so different from her that I couldn’t relate to either of them.
It was bad enough to have something end and not be able to do anything about it, but to have it be replaced by loneliness was even worse. I’ll never forget the one thing she said to me when she broke my heart.
“I wish I could be with someone like you, but I just can’t. I knew from the moment we met that you were different, and that’s why I wanted to be friends. There’s no way that I could ever give in to what you wanted because it wouldn’t work out. “
That was a painful blow to my ego, and it made me wonder if she was right.
Since then, I’ve grown up a lot. Maybe I haven’t been in love with anyone else since then, but I have experienced some amazing friendships and have learned a lot about myself.
This was a painful experience that I’ll never forget. It makes me wonder if there’s ever a way to avoid something like this happening again.
Maybe there is, maybe it’s not even possible. All I can do is hope that the right person will come along and give me the chance to prove my love to them.
It’s not easy to be rejected by someone you care about, and it hurts even more when they don’t give you a reason. I’m not sure why some people do that or why they have to be so cruel.
I think the best advice I can give is to stick with what makes you happy. Relationships are hard, especially romantic ones. I’m just lucky that I got out of the mine without anything worse happening.
Maybe someday down the road, the right person will come along and things will be different… but I don’t know.
All I know is that the right person will show up somewhere down the line, or else I’ll just have to find another way to live my life.
*This is a work of fiction, and everything is hypothetical based on my thinking, created to easily share my ideas.
This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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