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We’ve all heard of the ‘honeymoon phase’. That period between when you meet someone and your universe aligns perfectly with theirs, and the realization that not all is perhaps how you thought it was, somewhere between 6-18 months later.
For the cynics amongst us, whenever we see a new couple in their ‘love bubble’, we secretly know that this ‘feeling’ won’t last.
Many of us have experienced the harsh reality of waking up from the feeling of being ‘in love’. It can be incredibly scary, but it can also be incredibly liberating. Let me explain.
As a relationship develops, must the passion necessarily diminish and spell the death knell of desire. I mean, have it that way if you choose, it’s easy to let happen, but let me offer you another perspective.
As an alternative to that philosophy, I put it out there that as a relationship develops, the opportunity for depth and trust is also present.
As we honor deep trust, both within ourselves and within another, we also create space for deep intimacy and connection to be forged, and for our deepest, passionate longings to be met.
The thing is, most people want the ‘ripping off of clothes’ to never end. They want the wild sexual adventure, the ‘thrust’, the ‘rush’, the ‘feeling’, the ‘high’. Don’t get me wrong, this IS fun (and it doesn’t have to end either, just saying).
But how many of us are willing to walk the narrow path of becoming vulnerable, shaving off rough edges, owning our own shit, diving deep into the reality of loving another person. True love goes beyond the ‘feeling’. Real love is a verb, and it takes practice.
It’s almost like you need to allow the initial lust and raw vulnerability you experience with the other person, to open you up and expose the real you, so that the wholeness and healing and deep satisfaction of love can come in.
When you are willing to really choose to love another person, beyond the initial trappings of lust, you enter a new realm of awakening. You enter deeper into the mystery and beauty that occurs when two humans collide like this, in passion and in love, in gentleness and in strength.
This my friends, is not the diminishing aspect of relationship returns. It is a deepening. It is being seen, heard and accepted for who you are. It is being valued and appreciated, not just for your six-pack or your long legs, but because you are a living, breathing, human being.
It is a passionate patience and perseverance. It’s making a conscious choice to choose the way of love, every single day. It’s choosing every single moment if you have to, with everything that is within me. And it’s not because I want to take something from you, but because I want to show up and give my best.
If you truly want to know and experience what love is, beyond the honeymoon, stop looking out for what only feels good for you.
Invest in your higher self, because when you truly love another person and yourself, from that place, you will go higher and further and deeper than you could ever imagine.
A relationship is a living, breathing adventure. Why should the passion run dry?! Let me say this. It doesn’t have to, unless you let it. But it does make way for deeper love, a real connection, for honesty and for growth.
Go beyond the honeymoon phase folks. Accept another human for all that they are. Love them without conditions or hoops to jump through
That’s real love.
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