Dating is already hard enough as is; online dating has unleashed a whole new set of scenarios that most people are unfamiliar with and thus inexperienced in dealing with. As an online dating photographer in San Francisco, I have noticed an uptick in profiles (both male in female) knocking off a few years from their real age.
This alarming trend is something I have noticed in men who are approaching their 50s and women in their 40s. The typical explanation for this for women is that: “I am tired of getting messaged from older men” or “I look younger than my age”. The male explanation is “women ignore my messages because of my age” and “I look and feel younger than other men my age.”
Men traditionally will date younger women, maybe a few years younger in high school and college but that range, unfortunately, increases with time. As for women, they might be dating a man a few years older than her in high school and college and that range will expand until she is generally in her late 20s to mid-30s and then that range will reduce when she is in her 40s. If women start to date men a few years younger than themselves at an earlier age, what effect would that have?
I understand the desire to attract others but when you lie about your age, you are setting off a dangerous precedent. What else are you lying about in your profile? Is there a deeper, more concerning set of behavior that one should be worried about? Do you not date people you own age? Do you have some insecurities?
If you are not confident in displaying your age on a dating site — then don’t. Don’t go on online dating sites, meet people in person who are more open to meeting you for who you are vs filtering you out based on a number.
Or you take a minute to review your profile and see exactly what you are communicating to possible matches. Does your profile illustrate who you are, what you do and how you are living a youthful, energetic life? If not, show it. Show it through photos, don’t just list in your profile. Show photos of you out salsa dancing, exploring waterfall trails, traveling through obscure small towns no one has heard of, getting outside of your comfort zone.
The old adage of “show me, don’t tell me” is never truer than it is in this scenario.
This article originally appeared on the author’s Medium blog and is republished here with his permission.
Photo credit: Getty Images