20 little known secrets men should know about surviving women.
On a recent girl’s night out, we had fun discussing tips for men to survive us! I do think it’s fair that women should come with a color-coded dot on our four-heads to allow men to strategize, kiss or duck us more accurately.
Here are 20 little known secrets men should know about surviving women:
1.If we’re talking, you’re doing great.
It’s when we stop talking, or answer you in short clipped sentences that you’re slipping. If we use a one syllable answer: like ‘fine’, you’re not slipping, you’ve slipped!
2.Technique matters more.
3.If we’ve stopped talking all together, prepare yourself, the volcano is about to explode.
4.We know when you’re lying, so just tell the truth.
5.Tone does matter.
I know your world can’t stop every time I call you, but when I do, answer the phone like I’m the only one you want to talk to.
6.Never use the phrases: “Just get over it.”
It isn’t a healing encouragement or act of helping us release the stress. We read it as an attempt to discount our feelings. Buck up, hear us out. Then we’ll get over it.
7.Flowers don’t cover a multitude of mistakes, but it’s a good start.
8.Recall great times together and remind us of them often.
If you can recall who hit the most home runs, or the winning shot for the All-stars championships, then truly you can remember that sexy night in my red dress.
9.Be careful about pushing us to the “I quit mode.”
Most women will hang in there for the fight. We’ll stick and stay—for a while. Once we’ve reached the “It’s not worth all this” stage, it’s nearly impossible to get us back over the fence.
10.We love hot bodies
…to look at, to rub oil on, but what we’d rather have is: eye contact, reach for our hand, really listen. Do what you say you’re going to do.
11.Don’t promise things and then forget to follow through.
We’re like little kids, we can’t stop thinking about ‘it’ until it happens, so either make it happen or don’t promise.
12.Never start a sentence with ‘my mom use to…’
Be assured if you use this sentence, you won’t be blessed with the goods momma can’t give.
13.Don’t make ‘we’ decisions without us in the discussion.
If it affects me, I get a say.
14.Our dates don’t have to be elaborate, but we do want to know you spent time thinking about something WE like.
We’ll hang for your Super Bowls, your Bass Tournaments, and your work parties, if you remember to plan a trip with us to an event we might love. You don’t have to scrapbook with us, but maybe surprise us with a gift certificate to spend there.
15.We’re watching how you respond to difficult people, relatives, our friends, and your family.
If you’re impatient with them or are disrespectful to those you should love, how will you treat us?
16. Belch with the guys, but manners matter.
We don’t mind if you want to scratch, and wear your sloppys…as long as you save it for the man-cave and do know how to step it up for a formal dinner.
Don’t bench me.
18.If you think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe go ask your neighbor how he keeps it so green.
You might learn a trick or two.
19.Work is important—a necessary evil.
Find a way to make me feel like I land on the top of the priority list.
20.Letting my hair down in front of you is a flirt move, you’ve gotten a green light.
Ignore these signs and realize women talk—we share: the good, the bad and the ugly. And we can rally together boots on the ground in under 30 seconds.
Previously published by the Huffington Post.
Photo: Pam Vincent