Man, you’d love to be able to get people to do what you want. Imagine snapping your fingers everybody said “yes” to your requests. Life in the office would be ten times easier, that’s for sure. The reality is different. The workplace is a battleground where all genders have to work as one. Sometimes, men don’t come off smelling of roses in these exchanges.
Have you noticed this before? Plenty of men have and they don’t know how to react. A side note: this is in no way saying guys are marginalized in the boardroom. Boys tend to get a favorable deal and most men are aware of that fact. Still, it’s essential to be able to communicate and connect with the office as a whole to move up the ladder.
With that in mind, it’s time to understand where you’re going wrong and how you can rectify the situation. Below are some of the reasons you’re not getting direct responses at work.
- Too ‘man-like’. Guys have a certain approach to getting what they want and it often rubs people the wrong way. You might see it as taking your opportunities when they pop up, yet others will view it as being ruthless. As soon as you come across as the sort of person who will throw others under the bus, they will be less likely to play ball. And, they have a good reason if they assume you’re not going to reciprocate their hard work. In many ways, men can learn from the women in this respect. In general, they are better listeners and get along in teams as there isn’t as much ego. Sometimes, toning down the man stuff is the best way to get ahead in the industry. In no way does mean this you should stop doing the things which make you successful. Instead, focus on the things that are abrasive to others and try and be smoother around the edges.
- Unconnected. There is an image of men being disorganized and cluttered. While this isn’t true of every man on the planet, some guys do adhere to the stereotype. If you’re one of them, there’s a good chance your lack of preparation is leaving you of the loop. For example, how many forms of communication do you have on you right now? If the answer is one or two, you’re behind the times. Connectors, people that collect info like sponges, are always on the grid. That means they keep their phones charged, sync their accounts, and socialize with colleagues. Some of them also have an email to SMS gateway that lets them send text messages from their email account. Then, they never have to worry about a wifi router getting in the way of business. Guys that aren’t connected need to reevaluate, and they should do so with social media apps and direct phone lines. The goal is never to miss a beat.
- Setting bad targets. Pretty much anyone who has worked in an office is guilty of this mistake. You want to reach the top and would love to do it as soon as possible, so you cut a few corners. Men are culpable of it because they lack the patience needed to play the long game. With the testosterone running through the veins, they want to “strength” the job. Although this can help, it’s not a big motivator regarding goal-setting. The wrong targets will set you back years because you’ll be asking for the incorrect things. It’s no wonder there isn’t a response, or it’s not the one you wanted. The trick is to analyze your goals and to figure out whether they are realistic. A SWOT analysis can help if you don’t know where to start.
- Being exclusive. The term “it’s a boy’s club” is something everybody has heard. You might be part of one, yet it isn’t always a good thing. Yes, you can use it to your advantage to get ahead by greasing contacts and staying up to date as well as having friends to watch your back. But, it’s also possible to exclude others and piss them off in the process. Women, in particular, hate the idea of a boy’s club and won’t warm to you, which is bad for teamwork.
The best option is to try include as many people as possible and not to appear cliquey. Invite the office out for drinks after work, for example, and add them to the group chat on WhatsApp. A surefire way not to get a response is to alienate people in the first place.
Note: this post contains contributed content.