Bio: Jessica is a temp, a baker, and a nerd. She is still trying to find her way in this world; teaching was just one step in the journey, one that she loved but discovered she is not cut out for. 25 years and she is still trying to figure it all out. She blogs, and her blog is here: http://vampjezzc.wordpress.com/
- Children are loud and smell. Don’t shake their hands, don’t accept kisses, because the end result will always be you being sick as a dog for the next four weeks. Also beware of their infectious sneezes.
- Sometimes you will have to be a giant fairy who raises unicorns and penguins in the antarctic, just go with it. Imagination is fragile so don’t shatter it with adult fuddy-duddyness. You can’t fake it either, you have to give it your all and not make them feel silly for being silly.
- Nap time should be reinstated in all offices.
- Leave your shit at the office, a piss poor attitude will be reflected back to you in pint-sized form. So NO adult negativity is allowed in the classroom, unless you enjoy being contradicted at every turn and really like the word “no.”
- You will go home after work and start to sound like a child, without even knowing it. Beware, other people do not like this.
- Children carry the Little Person Plague. If you haven’t been around small kids for over year expect to get sick when coming in contact with them for an extended period of time.
- Do not negotiate with terrorists; children are terrorists. When a child is having a tantrum you cannot negotiate, you cannot give in, just sit them down and let them ride it out. Don’t try to console them or baby them, even if their parents do, you must be the authoritarian, because most of the time they will stop after being ignored for a few minutes.
- Teachers work for the school and the kids, not for parents! It is a job, one we enjoy, but we have lives to go home to, so when you are late you screw with our lives. So parents pick up your kids! That being said, there are some amazing parents out there and good parenting is reflected back in fantastic children, the opposite is also true unfortunately.
- There is no such thing as a bad child. They were not born bad, some have psychological issues, but it all goes back to the parents. Ineffectual parenting is the best way to screw up your kids. Allowing them to fight you when you come to get them, letting them nap for an extra hour even after you arrive, these all tell the children that they are in charge.
- I am not a teacher. I do not have the patience for the parents, the administration or, sad to say, the kids. I do not like being treated like a baby sitter, I do not have the masochistic tendencies necessary to be a teacher. But mostly I cannot deal with an administration that gives absolutely no respect to its teachers. Apparently some of these supervisors sitting behind their big desks never went to nursery school and learned basic manners.