OMG! Celebrities are so hot and have super hot butts! Josh Bowman has gone through the ‘BUTT-BREAKING WORK of finding the hottest butts of all time. Do you agree or disagree? Let the de-BUTTS begin!
Having a hot butt is the most important thing in the world. Here are some hotties who actually GET IT:
- Liu Xiaobo
This gorgeous human rights activist, Nobel Peace Prize winner, and total stud does nothing but work out as a political prisoner and walk the yard all day. All of that activist marching has made his butt one of the top butts. Get it, Liu!
- Toni Morrison
This Nobel-prize winning author, professor, and total hottie loves to sing, write, and have fun in the sun! Standing on stage accepting awards is a great way to work your glutes, and Ms. Morrison (that’s right, she’s single fellas!) has some STRONG FEMALE glutes. A top butt, for sure.
- Chinua Achebe
Sometimes, things fall apart. But not the tight derriere of this Booker-prize winning Nigerian writer and professor! Watch out! When he isn’t out and about in his wheelchair, Chinua is writing about “the effect of a precolonial reality as an Igbo-centric response to a Eurocentrically constructed imperial ‘reality'”. Yikes! All that writing really tightens up the buns. Hot!
- Cecilia Bartoli
One of the most gifted singers of our time, Cecilia is a super-hot Italian coloratura mezzo-soprano opera singer and recitalist. That’s a spicy meatball! All that singing on stage gives her a shapely butt that you can see all the way from the balcony seats. I wouldn’t mind making her my “La Cenerentola“, if you know what I mean. Smokin’.
- Sidney Poitier
To Sir With Love…no doubt. When he isn’t out winning Oscars or being an Ambassador, this spicy Caribbean beefcake is out showing off his moneymaker. I’ll stand up for civil rights with you anytime, Mr. Poitier! Actually, you stand…I’m fine right here. Boing!
- Dame Judi Dench
Dame Judi Dench has one every acting award there is, but her greatest triumph is in her fine, fine “Magic Roundabout.” Oh M, I’ll be your James Bond anytime. There is no doubt that Dame Dench has one of the greatest Hollywood butts ever. Move over, Elizabeth…there’s a new queen in town! Queen of having a great butt.
- Django Reinhardt
Father of modern “hot” jazz guitar and totes heart-throb, this sultry European musician brought it every time. All that sitting and be-bopping gave this fine hunk of man a rear to be proud of. I get a “Minor Shwing” just thinking of his “St. Louis Butt.” Encore!
- Margaret Atwood
Who says you can’t be an acclaimed environmental activist, professor, and award-winning author and not look hot doing it? I can’t tell you how many copies of “Oryx and Crake” I’ve bought just to have an excuse to go to book signings. Va-va-voom! One of the top butts of all time, and she’s Canadian. What’s your secret? Is it something in the poutine?
- J.K. Rowling
What is it about authors and butts? I don’t know, and I don’t care! Rowling, a super-hot children’s author, has sold more than 400 million copies of her books world-wide and has won oodles of awards. This saucy British liberal only has time for her daughter, her writing, and working out. Glisseo Maximo….Erecto!
- The Dalai Lama and Arch-Bishop Desmond Tutu (TIE)
Holy butts! These two peace lovers might be the sexiest duo since Socrates and Aristotle. Honorary degrees? Check (Sure, whatever). Nobel prizes? Double check (yeah, ok). Hottest butts of all time? CHECK OVERLOAD (WHOA!!). If these two hotties put out an exercise book instead of that other stuff they write, I would run so fast to that bookstore that my shoes would explode. Forget firemen, when is your calendar coming out, fellas? Featuring the 14th Incarnation of the BUTT-dha, and Arch-BUTTship Tutu.
All images courtesy of AP.