Money plays an important part in human relationships, and your ability to manage financial matters could make or mar your relationships. The money factor can’t be underemphasized in marriages, committed relationships, and relationships with a sense of exclusivity. When couples fight on financial matters, such fights usually vary along the lines of financial irresponsibility, dictatorship on the part of the higher income earner, and disagreements on how money should be managed. This piece provides three insights on reducing financial frictions in marriages.
1. Begin with financial scorecards
Many couples often put off money matters until after marriage or until their finances hit the rocks because they are uncomfortable discussing money; after all, love is the most important ingredient for a marriage. However, you need to get down to the serious (sometimes-messy) business of knowing the complete future of each other’s finances. Sometimes, past individual mistakes can affect your financial future together – performing an honest financial cross-examination can help you avoid unpleasant surprises in the future.
If you are already married, it is never too late to go back to the basics to review your current financial situation and identify the individual or combined financial habits that have influenced your financial position.
2. Draw a financial plan together and create some space for individuality
Finances play a crucial role in marriages; hence, it is important that you agree on a financial plan in order to benefit from the synergy in unity of purpose. You should agree on when who works and who stays at home, you need to agree on the retirement age for yourself and your spouse. An article on CreditLoan provides great insight that can help you agree on some of the money habits to teach your kids. You’ll also need to agree on whether you’ll combine your finances or whether you’ll split the financial responsibilities in the home.
However, you also need to make a concerted effort to create financial buffer zones in which you and your spouse can make financial decisions without worrying about what the other person will think about such financial decisions.
3. Manage income disparity and its effect on the balance of power
Power is fluid, dynamic, and abstract; yet, you can be sure that your marriage won’t be immune from the challenges associated with maintaining a balance of power. A helpful tip for maintaining the balance of power is to acknowledge that you and your spouse are teammates working towards a common goal. Hence, both partners should have a say in financial matters even though they contribute different amounts of money to financial goals. It is also important both partners bring something to the common purse no matter their income level.
In a marriage where one partner is the “breadwinner” while the spouse stays at home, there could be unspoken friction where one partner feels unappreciated while the other partner feels devalued. The friction could become particularly heightened if the roles become reversed during the course of the relationship. However, placing a monetary value on the efforts of the stay-at-house in terms of housekeeping, cooking, and babysitting among others can help to put the balance of power in proper perspective.
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