Start your most important holiday shopping early, or you’ll be reduced to gifts marketed to the desperate, like these.
It is that time of the year again, when the Christmas madness begins and people go berserk in shopping malls. Lots of men tend to leave their Christmas shopping to the last minute. This leads to the craziest and most random gift ideas, as there is not much time left and the resources are low.
Therefore, I have listed down a few NO-GO Christmas presents for your girlfriend, because you don’t want to sleep all alone on the couch on Christmas Day.
5. Dust Mop Slippers
You can’t go wrong with slippers, can you? Unfortunately yes, you can, as you can see in the picture above. Those Dust Mob slippers from Amazon enable you to clean the floor while walking around. Even if you put it that way, it still won’t work on any girl. This gift idea will only give her the feeling that she is supposed to do the cleaning in the house.
4. Push-Up Bra
You could have guessed this one already. An dispute about her breast size won’t help. You could get her a bra, but do you actually know her size? You definitely shouldn’t undertake this mission on your own. Either ask one of her girlfriends to help you out or forget this gift idea completely and start searching for another gift.
3. Wii Fit
If you consider buying her the Wii Fit game, you are automatically screwed (and I don’t mean that in a good way).
Let me explain: The moment you turn on the game, it asks you for your height measures, your weight and BMI. Hence, if you are the slightest bit overweight, a cute high pitched voice will let you know that. In addition to that, the little avatar on the screen begins to turn a little chunky for his workout clothes.
2. Stripper Pole
Let’s be honest, this type of gift is actually for you and not for her. She will not be as fond of being your own private dancer as you imagine.
So unless she is a dancer who needs a pole for practice, or a fan of Carmen Electra’s pole work out videos; you should keep your hands off that product. You don’t want to start a discussion that begins with, “Do I look like a stripper to you?”
Buying her a new iPod would have been a perfectly fine gift. However, you tried to find a more unique iPod accessory on the internet. One thing linked to another and you landed on the best-selling music activated iPod vibrator sex toy.
It was a nice thought, but—BZZZZZZZ!!!—try again.
BZZZZZZZ!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ … !!
Good luck, and Merry Christmas already!
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Feature image credit: apdk/Flickr; other images courtesy of the author