When you wake up, write down three questions: what is my deepest goal, what is my deep reason why, and what are the reasons this is possible for me? Trust me, says Sandeep Gourkanti, this will change your life.
I keep a blank piece of paper on my nightstand before I fall I asleep. When I wake up, I fold this paper into half and at the top I write down three questions: what is my deepest goal, what is my deep reason why, and what are all the reasons this is possible for me? Each day it varies how I answer these questions but I figured I would like to share what I wrote down today.
What Is My Deepest Goal
To use the knowledge I have to bring value to people around me. To be able to write a book and be proud of it from my hard work and dedication.
My Deep Reason Why
To create my own freedom, to work for myself, to live life on my own terms and make a great living for my future wife and children.
All The Reasons This Is Possible For Me
I’m patient and can focus on any book I read.
I have a strong endurance, which allows me to engage in the task and not quit.
I’m good looking and that gives me confidence because I can approach people without shame.
I work best under a cause that is bigger than me.
I’ve made strong improvements recently and am starting to believe in myself each day.
I’m in good health.
If I make mistakes, that’s OK because I will overcome them.
I’m meticulous and enjoy the process of focusing on details.
Steadiness is the key for my well-being.
I’m in love with my handwriting and this allows me to stay focused on the text longer.
I enjoy reading and I don’t find that it’s work anymore.
Today is my time to build a strong foundation that I will live with for the rest of my life.
This simple exercise has helped me become the man I want to be. However, it took four long years of college to realize that I needed to invest in myself always, before I invest into other people.
On the first day I planted my feet in my freshman dorm I had low self-esteem. So I figured if I associate myself with men whom I knew did well on exams and were sociable with women. I would learn the important lessons my father wasn’t able to tell me.
At the start of each week, I would scout these men out by being apart of influential organizations on campus and going out to parties with big crowds. By word of mouth, I found out about three men who obtained the best grades in my science classes and another three men who were responsible for getting freshman into parties. I compiled the names and made a spreadsheet of where they were from, what their major was, places they studied and hung out with friends, and most importantly, how many women they allegedly slept with. I, then, took a blank piece of paper, folded it into half, and jotted down this information in shorthand so I would be prepared when I met them.
Within a few weeks, I used this information to connect with them and became part of these men’s inner circles. I reaped the benefits of getting the best grades by studying with them during the day and getting into the best parties by at night. My confidence grew and I felt like I had it all.
But then, something unexpected happened. I noticed that my time was managed, created, and decided by these men’s schedules. If I got a text to be at this place at this time I was there. If I needed to create study notes for the group, I would email it a week before the test. If I needed to invite 10-20 people to a party I delivered.
This overinvestment into other people was a exhaustive process. Before I knew it, when I graduated from college, I was lost. I couldn’t find the motivation to study or read and I was unable to approach women. Lying on the bathroom floor, tears all over my filthy body, I realized that for most of my short adult life I had overinvested my time and energy into other people, instead of investing in myself.
I couldn’t drive myself to do the work I wanted to do because I never set goals for myself or realize what I truly wanted for my life. I was always thinking about short-term gains and pleasures instead of playing the long-term game of life.
Now, each time I ready to go to bed, I never forget to put down that blank piece of paper on my nightstand because it is a necessity for me to become the admirable, honest, and disciplined man I can be, instead of thinking about how I can fake my way to learn about manhood from others.
Try out my blank piece of paper method for a few mornings. What did you find out about yourself? Do you feel your investment in yourself is paying off? Feel free to email me if you need help to brainstorm about what your deepest goal is and all the reasons why you can achieve it. Trust me, don’t make the mistake I made. Comment below what you found out about yourself using the exercise and investing in yourself.
Photo: Matt Hutchinson / Flickr