Would you watch
Damon Feldman, the owner of Celebrity Boxing, thinks he has a potential moneymaker in the idea of putting George Zimmerman–one of the most controversial men in the United States–into a boxing ring. The question is, just who would be willing to get in the ring with the man many (including myself) believe got away with murdering an innocent teenager?
Turns out, this dude:
I must admit that my knowledge of DMX doesn’t extend further than that ubiquitous single and his roles in a handful of decade-old action movies (which I’ve never actually seen), but the idea of seeing ANYONE take out the collective frustration of all right-thinking people everywhere out on that dude is kinda appealing.
But that’s base emotion talking, right? We’re supposed to be better than that, I guess. If two men are going to beat the crap out of each other in the ring, it should be for the glory of the sport, not something so base as common schadenfreude.
Also, what if DMX lost? Can you imagine the smug look on Sean Hannity’s face when that happened? Do we really want to risk the chance of making anyone at Fox News that happy?
Still, I’m not ready to abandon the idea of pitting a controversial public figure against a fading hip-hip/rap star completely. In case DMX vs Zimmerman (Thrilla Against the Killa?) doesn’t happen, we should start exploring other options. Here are some I’ve come up with:
Edward Snowden vs. Biz Markie
Paula Deen vs. Lil’ Kim
Do you know what’s the one thing butter can’t make better? A knockout in the middle of the ring!
Phil “Duck Dynasty” Robertson vs. Sir Mix-a-lot
We know how Sir Mix-a-lot feels about big butts, but how does he feel about bigots with beards?
Ted Cruz vs. MC Hammer
Please Hammer, HURT him.
Justin Bieber vs. Vanilla Ice
It’ll be like Bieber is fighting the older version of himself! Isn’t that an episode of The Twilight Zone?
Rob Ford vs. Snow
It’s the battle of two white guys who like to talk like Jamaicans! Snow take that dude a likey boom boom down!