Most milestones for our children are reasons to celebrate. There is one rapidly approaching that I don’t want to face.
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Parents have to change a lot of diapers. When you have multiple kids spaced out in ages, you get to change a lot more for a lot longer. Add to that the fact that your sons have never been in any hurry to accept being potty trained and your life can be covered in dirty diapers for large portions of two decades. At least mine has been. Although I can see the end of this phase of life rapidly approaching.
I am not that excited about it.
Oh sure, part of me is looking forward to the fact that I won’t have to stop whatever I am doing at the whims of a small person’s digestive system. I also will be pleased to be relieved of the expense of buying high priced, glorified paper towels intended to be pooped in, once! Forty dollars for a pack of the ultimate one use product, which my two-year-old can burn through in a long weekend, is rough on the bank account.
My baby boy, the last of three, is growing up faster than I want him too.
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My baby boy, the last of three, is growing up faster than I want him too.Yeah I know, that’s going to happen no matter what. When you take a moment to look at things, though, it can be a real awakening. There are still firsts to experience with all my children. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of firsts that I will never be able to enjoy again. There is a multitude of things that I dread about changing the last diaper.
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Here are the four that strike me as the toughest to deal with:
The next diaper I change will probably be a grandchild– Most likely years down the road; I will have to change a diaper of a grandchild. Don’t get me wrong; I want grandchildren, and I want to help take care of them. But the realization that when that experience comes, my kids will be grown and out of the house, depresses me somewhat. I also understand that it will be here before I know it. I look forward to grandchildren; I don’t look forward to a change of the magnitude required to get me there. Call me selfish but I am a largely nostalgic person.
The last diaper could be the last diaper- While I anticipate grandchildren and enjoying those moments. That doesn’t mean it will happen. I have three sons, so I assume that, at the very least, one of them will have kids. What I don’t know is when, or where or how many. If they live far away, maybe I won’t be around them much as tots. What if something happens to me before then? I know we shouldn’t think in these terms but as a person that overthinks everything in life, it’s what I go through.
Mainly did we make a mistake when we decided to stop with three children?
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Rethinking decisions- Mainly did we make a mistake when we decided to stop with three children? Should we have instead decided to have more? Then and even now, I believe three was the right decision for us but will I feel the same when my kids begin to leave the nest? I know nothing lasts forever, but maybe we could have delayed the inevitable.
I won’t know when it happens– With my first two boys, I couldn’t tell you when I changed the last diapers with them. It happened so quickly and the transition so immediate I just didn’t notice. I know that most likely that will happen again, and my youngest is very close to that moment. He understands all the concepts; he is just a hard head that does things in his own time. So my fear is that one day I will wake up, and he is going to have transitioned into a new stage of life before I am prepared.
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These reasons are all selfish, and I really do want my kids to grow up to be productive, ambitious, and positive members of society. There will always be part of me though that just wants them to stay my little boys. With the gaps between their ages (all five years apart) I am experiencing three very different sets of challenges currently. That trend will continue for many years.
So what I try to do now, is savor each milestone with each son.
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So what I try to do now, is savor each milestone with each son. I want to be in the moment with them and let them know I support them and love them. I try to take fewer pictures with my phone and honestly watch what is going on. Because no mater what changes life will bring, I want to be an integral part of them. They need to know and remember that their father was there supporting and encouraging, even if he wasn’t ready.
Ultimately that is what it means to be a dad.
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Photo:Flickr/Gordon